#Taejin - In My Silence

Chapter 7: Denial

After hours and hours of performing a complicated heart transplant surgery for a seven-year-old girl, Seokjin came home late that night, exhausted. The little girl had a congenital heart defect and finally got a donor. It was hard to find a donor for a little child. The list was long and the wait could take years. And thankfully, that girl now had a new hope of living a better and healthy life ahead of her.

Seokjin parked his car. He had imagined the warmth of his blankets and the comfort of his bed. All he wanted was to crawl under the covers and hoped to get a long peaceful sleep tonight. But at the front door, he stumbled across Taehyung sleeping on the floor. Drunk.

"Tae?!" He shook the man. "Tae? Are you drunk?" Seokjin kneeled to check him, cradled his face with his hands, and brushed his cheek gently.

"Huh...?" The drunk man woke up in confusion. His head pounded, his mind blurred. "H-hyung?" He tried to get up. "Where am I?"

"At my house."

"Wh-at? Why...?" He questioned himself, why was he here?

"Are you okay?" Seokjin helped him stand and tried to open his door lock at the same time.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay? Why did you drink?" His voice was calm as he supported the drunk man to walk inside and sit on the couch.

Taehyung groaned.

"Sit!" Seokjin placed him carefully. "I'll get you some water." He threw his sling bag and trotted to the kitchen.

Taehyung's head was still processing how he got here in the first place. He went to a bar after he clocked out of his office, got drunk... and...

"Here, finish it!" Seokjin was back with a glass of water. Taehyung opened his eyes and drank sloppily.

"I... have... to go home..." He tried to get up, but fell back to the couch.

"Stay the night, you're wasted. I'll take care of you." Seokjin said and then he was gone before finally coming back with a wet towel to wipe Taehyung's face.

The towel felt warm on his tired skin and Taehyung could feel the wipes were gentle and careful. He opened his eyes and found Seokjin right before him. He gulped. A lump in his throat prevented him from talking. It was difficult to put his emotions into words and he didn't understand why his eyes stung and some tears threatened to fall. "Hyung... tell me..." He managed to whisper. "Am I... your favorite?"

Seokjin stopped. He didn't really understand Taehyung's implication by that, so he went silent for a brief moment before finally giggling and concluding that this was just drunk talk. "Yeah yeah, you are my favorite, Tae. Now, let's get you to bed!" He pulled him to stand up and ushered him to the guest room.

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The next morning, Taehyung woke up in an unfamiliar room with his head pounding terribly. His mind tried to recall all the events from last night that led him to this. Hospital, then a bar, alone, then here...

It was Seokjin's guest room. This wasn't his first time crashing in this room, he knew this room quite well, the nice smell, the soft bedding, the calming interior...

His car? Where did he leave his car? Ah, he left it in the bar parking lot. He came here in a cab. Why didn't he use a designated driver instead, so he wouldn't have to leave his precious sports car there? No idea... He shook his head. He was drunk after all, how could he think straight?!

And why here? Why didn't he go straight home?

He... missed Seokjin... He hasn't seen him since after lunch. Seokjin left early for surgery... Didn't see him when he clocked out. He wanted to see him. Need to see him.... to ask about his favoritism...

Had he asked him yet?

Had he got the answer?

Wait... he smelled like Seokjin now... Ah, he wore Seokjin's T-shirt. Seokjin helped him to change last night. Gave him clean clothing, tucked him in, and made sure he slept comfortably.

Taehyung heard muted sounds from outside this room... somewhere... He tried to get up with his dizzy head and hazy sight. He staggeringly walked out of the bedroom and headed to where the sound came from. Kitchen... From the kitchen... Seokjin must be cooking...

"You're up?" A gentle voice greeted him. A voice that never failed to make him calm. An assurance that everything would be okay. A guarantee that he won't be left alone, because his hyung would always be there.

"I made you hangover soup." That sweet voice chimed again. As long as Taehyung remembered, that voice always sounded so tender to him, as if Seokjin carefully put affection in each word he uttered. Never once did he raise his volume even though Taehyung made terrible mistakes. Never once did he lose his temper at him.

Taehyung took a seat on a high wooden bench in the kitchen bar, facing Seokjin who prepared him a bowl of soup and put it in front of him. "Thanks. Who else have you made this hangover soup for?" Taehyung took the spoon and asked curiously. Maybe he needed proof against Jimin's statement. Surely Seokjin had ever cooked this kind of thing for someone else too, right? Not just especially for him.

"Um... Yoongi... Once when he thought Reine would break up with him." Seokjin chuckled. He cracked the fourth egg on the hot pan. Seasoned them with a pinch of salt and pepper.

See! Seokjin treats everybody equally! Taehyung wanted to scold Jimin.

"Yoongi rarely drank, but that was one time when he came here wasted and cried. Crashed on the couch with drooling and all."

"Min Yoongi?! Cried and drooling?" Taehyung had now gained half of his consciousness upon hearing the rather-unbelievable news about the cold and stoic Min 'Fucking' Yoongi.

"Don't tell him I told you that." Seokjin giggled and flipped the eggs. "He was so much in love with Reine, but things didn't go that smoothly back then." He took the warm whole-wheat bread out of the toaster and put them on two plates, two slices for each.

"You two are close, aren't you?" Taehyung inquired.

"As you already know."

"He knows more about you than any of us, right?"

"I guess so." Seokjin now put the eggs on the plates, along with several sausages and roasted cherry tomatoes.

As Taehyung finished his soup, Seokjin pushed the breakfast plate and an aspirin to him. For a while, Taehyung stared at the tablet. It was always like this. When he got wasted, he would come to Seokjin's house. Even when he got drunk with Jimin, Jimin would go home to his own apartment, but Taehyung always came here instead.

Why was that? An instinct? A habit? Brain automation?

And Seokjin would make him hangover soup, give him headache tablets, cook him a hearty breakfast to make sure his stomach was filled, and help him to be sober enough to go to work that day.

But Taehyung never questioned anything back then. He took it all for granted, didn't he? And now, he rethought it all.

"Why is it important?"

"What's important?"

"If Yoongi knows more about me?"

Taehyung went silent. "I guess not. He has known you longer than any of us afterall." He finally said and started to eat his breakfast. Aah, how can I be Hyung's favorite? Min Yoongi is always his number-one friend. Hyung never even took me to his house. Heck, I don't even know and never even met his mom! But Min Yoongi does. "Did you make him breakfast too?"

"Well of course, I couldn't let the man starve, could I?" Seokjin chuckled. What was wrong with all these weird questions?

"So..." Seokjin chewed slowly. "Why were you drunk yesterday?"

".... just drunk..."

"I don't recall you getting so wasted like that for no reason."

Taehyung went silent. Yeah, there were always major reasons why he got to this level of drunkenness. Problems at work. Fight with his parents. "Nothing.... Just forget it..." He mumbled in a low voice.

".... okay...." Seokjin looked at him in concern, but didn't pursue his answer.

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