#Taejin - In My Silence

Chapter 5: Dinner

Taehyung's apartment suite was designed with modern touches. Various metal elements and decorations with a range of cold colors from black, dark gray, to light silver dominated this place. Maybe it was not as homey as Seokjin's house, but luxurious at best, suitable with his persona as a very successful Cosmetic Surgeon.

The kitchen was always tidy and clean, indicating that the owner rarely used it. He mostly bought ready-meals and certainly didn't like the idea of cooking for others, except for Seokjin... just because Jin often cooked for him too.

And maybe for Jimin sometimes, when he visited. Just because Jimin's cooking was so much worse than his, and Taehyung didn't want to risk himself getting food poisoning.

Taehyung rolled his sleeves to his elbows and Seokjin unconsciously stared at his hands without even remembering to blink. He watched attentively how every single muscle flexed when Taehyung moved, then gulped hard.

"You like what you see, Hyung?" Taehyung grinned and winked at him, making Seokjin's face red with embarrassment. Had he lost his mind?!! Was it getting harder to control himself around Taehyung now?!! Years of frustration of seeing, watching, and imagining him, without ever being able to touch, taste, and hold him in his arms.

"Hyung...?" Taehyung approached dangerously. "You haven't answered my question!" He grinned with mischief twinkling in his eyes.

Oh, here we go again. He teased Seokjin for being gay, for liking men, for drooling at a man's flawless hand. This was not gonna be good. "Don't tempt me, Tae. You don't know how gorgeous you are." Seokjin turned away, but Taehyung took that opportunity to turn Jin's shoulders to face him and then invade his personal space, making Seokjin retreat several steps until his back hit the cold marble top of the kitchen island.

Since when did his dongsaeng develop more courage to tease him like this?

Taehyung closed their distance, making Seokjin gulp hard. His breath hitched and his heart pounded so hard inside his ribcage. He should run! Now!

"So you think I'm gorgeous?" Their faces were so close and Seokjin could feel Taehyung's warm breath fanning his face. His voice was down in a low octave. Intentionally breathy and seductive.

Seokjin hopelessly tried to keep his sanity intact. How can he play this kind of game? The game that he could never win. How could he keep his mask on?

"Do you want me, then?" Taehyung bit his lower lip, making Jin unconsciously lick his own. Madly driven by a repressed want. The fire started to burn inside him, igniting every single nerve in his body.

"Yeah, I want you... I wanna eat you alive..." He managed to say it rather flatly, but breathless nevertheless. Hopefully Taehyung would find it as a mere joke and not Seokjin's true desire.

"Hmm... I don't know if I'm on the menu tonight." Taehyung's tone was still playful. His grin as well. Seokjin was safe, then. Taehyung didn't take it seriously. But he had not yet released Seokjin from his cage.

"You can if you wanna be." Seokjin's voice was more relaxed now. There was some truth in the suggestion. "I can make you feel so good and fuck you to oblivion!" His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. He swore, if Taehyung kept pushing him like this, he wouldn't hesitate to close the gap and kiss those lips! Once! Maybe just once... He really wanted to taste them so badly!

Taehyung chuckled. "Interesting!" He said, but then took a few steps back. "But I'll just take a rain check for tonight. I'm starving and craving different kinds of meat." He winked before finally opening the brown paper grocery bags to start cooking.

Well of course, a straight-up rejection! Seokjin let out a long sigh silently, feeling as if a bucket of ice water just poured down on him, flushing all the fire and the lust that burned him fiercely just seconds ago. Killed them off in an instant, leaving him shivering and breathless, still burning, hot, and hard from the interaction. Dammit Tae!

*

The dinner was.... a little bit spicy as well. The domino effect of the disaster happened when Taehyung accidentally dropped the lid of a black pepper bottle on the pan, spreading a large amount of the black powder right on top of the steak. And while he frantically searched for a spatula, a spoon, tissue, or anything to clean or dab the surface, the bottom part of the steak was burned.

"SHIT!" Taehyung cursed. He turned off the stove and sighed. Seokjin laughed. He sipped his cola and approached him.

"Move away. Let me do it!"

Taehyung moved aside in frustration. "Sorry. I'll do better next time." He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"I'd like that."

"Like what?"

"The next-time promise." Seokjin glanced at him.

"Okay." Taehyung finally smiled. He watched as Seokjin cleaned up the pepper and finished cooking. He was being taken good care of again. His mess was cleaned up. He realized it was not the first time, whether for personal things or even for work. Taehyung had a rough start in his first years working at ProHealth Medical Hospital, and Seokjin helped a lot. "Hyung..."

"Huh?" Seokjin didn't take his eyes off of the steak.

Taehyung didn't answer. Couldn't answer. Couldn't explain all the mixed-up feelings towards Seokjin right now. He was just staring at him.

"What?"

"Nothing..." Taehyung shook his head. ".... thank you..." He said a little while later with a low voice. For everything...

"Hm..." Seokjin flashed a small smile, didn't exactly know what the thank you was for. Maybe for saving the steak.

*

The dinner went mostly in silence. Each person was busy with their own messy thoughts, triggered by the series of tonight's events.

"Do you think I should really try the blind dates that my mother set me, Tae?" Gaze still down on his dinner plate, Seokjin finally broke the silence and asked the man before him.

"Huh? Uh... I guess..." Now Taehyung didn't look so sure about his own suggestion.

Seokjin sneered, more to himself. "Pick the girl for me then, Tae."

"But you're gay, Hyung?!" Taehyung was surprised by the request.

"Better be with a woman rather than another man. I can live with it. I can be a faithful and devoted husband to her. And at least I can give my mother grandchildren, don't you think?"

Taehyung put down his fork. "Why are you pretending to be someone that you are not?" He asked in concern. "I thought you said your mom didn't really mind about you being gay?"

"Yeah... she's not..." Seokjin paused. "But... it doesn't matter, you know...." He shrugged.

Taehyung was puzzled. "What do you mean it doesn't matter?! It does really matter!"

Seokjin looked Taehyung in the eyes deeply. "We can't..." He answered... and paused again. "We can't get everything we want in life, can we, Tae? That's now how it works." His tone dropped lower. "Maybe it's time for me to give up. I've held on too long..."

Taehyung didn't understand what Seokjin meant, but he sensed a deep sorrow in Seokjin's voice.

"If it hurts you so much, Hyung.... Then maybe it is time to give it up..."

***

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