jenna ortega imagines

slipping through my fingers- j.o

a/n- HELLO, this is one of the stories i'm trying to do that are angst, so here are some cries for you, sorry about that! also i'm still working on lead, i just never have motivation 

warnings: angst

not proof read!

-

For Jenna's 20th birthday, you wrote her a 20 paged letter.

You remember working on it and spilling her heart out, out of everything you loved about her, the way you planned on marrying her when you both were older, and your secrets.

You had told her to keep it until exactly one week after her birthday, you said you wrote so many personal things in there and wanted her to keep it safe.

She had twirled you in her arms and kissed you on her birthday, you showered her with love and presents.

The night of her birthday you told her you loved her.

Two days after her birthday, Jenna wanted to make it up to you, thank you, she had brought your favorite flowers, daffodils.

She drove to your parents and your house that day, knocked on your house.

Your parents opened the door, their eyes slowly mellowing as they met Jenna's.

"It's good to see you Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N. I wanted to give these flowers to Y/N to thank her and how much she's given to me ever since she entered my life. You raised a beautiful daughter."

Your parents smiled, playing with their hands, "That's so thoughtful of you Jenna, thank you. Unfortunately Y/N isn't home right now and is out of town. Maybe you can drop it off.. On a later day?"

Jenna's smile faded a little as she nodded, "Of course, let Y/N know I visited."

They nodded as they gave her a hug and closed the door, Jenna left with the beautiful daffodils in her hands.

-

10/29

jenna<3: hi baby, i came to drop off some flowers as a thank you, you weren't there, your parents said you were out of town<3.

sweet Y/N: hi gorgeous, i'm sorry i wasn't there, i wish i was so I could pick you up in my arms and hugged you until the next day.

jenna<3: me too princess, i love you

sweet Y/N: i love you so so much

-

11/4, one week after.

Jenna brings her flowers that she got for you a few days back, they were a little wilted, but just as pretty as ever. She picks them up and changes the water, gently grasping it and walking to meet you.

She wore your sweater before leaving her house.

This time she didn't go to your parent's house.

The weather was colder as she wrapped your sweater over herself more, sniffling.

The grass was pretty, flowers were everywhere as if she were in a meadow.

She placed the daffodils against the surface of your grave with shaky hands.

As much as she tried to smile, she couldn't.

"Why couldn't you have just told me you were going to slip away from my fingers? Why didn't you tell me that you had an incurable brain tumor? Why did you have to pass away in front of my eyes as you held my hand?" She whispered, her voice cracking.

She knew why you had asked her to read the letter you had gotten her a week after her birthday.

-

first page

Happy birthday to my sweet angel, if you're reading this, we both know I'm no longer here with you anymore. The pretty sunsets that appear every evening are always a trace that I'm still lingering here with you. I'm sorry I never told you. I wish I could, but I didn't want to ruin your birthday, I wanted to make you so happy and I couldn't bear the thought of telling you. So I didn't. I know you took my favorite sweater the first time you ever wore it, so I told my parents to give all of my sweaters to you so you can hold them and my scent can comfort you whenever you miss me. I had bought a ring for you, I wanted to marry you, you made me happy. I wanted to spend my whole life with you. The ring reminds me of you. It reminded me of us. And even though I'm no longer here to marry you, I want to give it to you as a present to wear to remind you that I'll love you and I'll always be holding your hand. I wish I could pick you up in my arms and hug you forever. But I can't. I remember when we were little kids and I scraped my knee on the concrete when we were biking. You had held me in your arms and kissed the wound, telling me that you would kiss it better. As much as I'm an open wound and your kisses heal me, they can't heal me this time. But over time, your kisses will heal your wounds of me. Till you finally look up at the sky at the sunset and smile. I love you.

-

Jenna sobs against the railing of your hospital bed as she hugs you tight, your eyes barely open.

"D-don't go." She says, her voice below a whisper as she wants to just cradle you and kiss it better.

She wishes she could kiss it better. The only thing she could do was climb into your hospital bed, holding your weak body in hers.

She caresses your cheek as you look at her, sniffling a little, "I'm sorry."

She gives you a tearful smile, sobbing, "Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. I love you so much."

Your hair was down as she caressed it, the beeping of the monitor slowing.

Her hand held yours, holding it so tightly so you'll never let go.

You looked up at her, the smallest smile forming as you whispered.

"I love you too. I love you so much. I'll love you so much."

Your eyes close, as much as Jenna loved spending time with you, this was the worst memory she could've ever experienced.

She kisses your forehead as you keep whispering "I love you." Till it stops.

Your breathing slows, till you exhale your very last breath, your hand slipping away from her fingers, your body going limp in her arms as she lets out a gut wrenching sob.