𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

35 | Tell Me You Love Me

*Now playing - Darling
by Montell Fish*

"How are things at home?" I ask the red-haired girl in front of me.

I watch as she rolls her eyes and sighs, "Wayne came back" She started, "She promised it would be different but it's not. They still fight all of the time"

I furrow my brows "When did he go back?"

"Last weekend" I tilt my head and she looks at me "Don't look at me like that"

"Like what?"

"Like you're worried"

I scoff "I am worried Dev, you shouldn't be around that"

Devany shrugs, "I'm not a little kid--"

"But you are" I interrupt her, "A kid that was forced to grow up faster than the rest"

Her shoulders slouch as my words hit her, and she leans back against the wall, staring at me with sad eyes "You say it like you understand"

Maybe that should've hurt me, but it didn't. I knew she meant that I didn't understand her situation and what she grew up going through. I didn't and I won't act like I do.

"I'm sorry" She quickly apologizes.

I shook my head "Don't apologize" I said "I-I don't know what that's like for you, to go through that because my parents didn't really argue. They had their problems but they tried to not involve me and my brother" I spoke.

I didn't understand why I was now standing up for my parents. After I found out about what my dad had done, I never looked at their relationship as the good parts of love but only the bad. I don't know why I now feel differently.

"But, I know someone who had to grow up fast at a young age" I swallow harshly as Devany's eyes deepen with sadness.

"Jisung?" His name fell from her lips and it was like a wave of chills spread through my body, I felt like she read my mind. "Is that who you're talking about?"

I look down and nod, "Yeah," I say with a sad chuckle, looking back up at her, "I wasn't around him in those times but when we met again, he was..." I tried to find the words "Different"

"In what way?"

"Every way possible," I told her the truth, "The way he spoke, how he carried himself, his hair, his attitude... everything"

"That must've been hard for you" She sympathizes.

I shrug "I wasn't unaware, I knew what I was walking into," I said without thinking, clearing my throat. "Enough of this conversation, we need to finish up" My words make Dev groan loudly.

-

My phone rang loudly through my apartment. I open my tired eyes, squinting beside me where my phone lit up on the other side of the bed. I groan lowly, sitting up and grabbing my phone.

His name lit up on my screen, waking me up as I grew confused. It was in the middle of the night and he had no reason to call me.

I answer the phone nonetheless "Hello?" I spoke, rubbing my tired eyes.

"Are you home?" Jisung said with a slight slur and I sighed lowly.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I'm outside," he said, making me sit up more straightly. "I know I shouldn't be here but--but I need to talk to you"

I get out of bed and grab a random pair of pants and shirt, "You're at my door?" I ask.

"Yeah..."

I roll my eyes "Okay, I'm going now" I hang up, irritation growing in me as I walk out of my room, I look around the living room and I must've left the lamp on as it lit up the area and I run my fingers through my messy hair.

I walk to the door and before opening it I stop, swallowing harshly as my hand hovers over the door knob. I lick my dry lips before opening the door. He stood there, looking up from the floor with a guilty look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woke you--"

I open the door more and move out of the way, looking past him and he walks in. The smell of alcohol followed and I knew he was drunk but not over the top or he would barely be walking.

I close and lock the door, following him into the living room where he sits on the couch. My heart filled up at the sight, Jisung sat on the couch and the cats surrounded him. His smile was soft as he petted them gently.

I sit down beside him "Did you drive here?"

Jisung looked at me "I was close by" he lied and I gave him a look and he chuckled lowly.

"You shouldn't drink and drive"

"I only had a couple of drinks--"

"It's still dangerous," I said with something laced in my voice, "Not just for you but for others" I looked away from his smug face.

The silence filled my apartment. I rubbed my still-tired eyes.

"I really fucked up, didn't I?" His voice was soft but I still refused to look his way. "I don't blame you for leaving me, if anything I'm proud that you did. That you finally stuck up for yourself"

"Stop" I mumble, feeling the tears run to the surface but I still held them in like my life depended on it.

I felt the cats run off and I felt his eyes on me. "I want to hear you say it Minho" My name still rolled off his tongue so beautifully, that's one of the things that never changed. "I want you to tell me how much I ruined us"

"Is that why you came over?" I spoke, hesitantly as I didn't want to break. My eyes never met his. "To hurt yourself?"

"That's the only thing I'm good at" Without thinking, I look at him. He looked so helpless and that was a painful sight. "Hurting myself, hurting others... you" Jisung looks at me "So, yeah, I'm proud of you for leaving"

"Jisung" I spoke his name "Don't do this"

I watched as he looked away from me and absently looked around the living room. "I want to be honest with you" He started and my back straightened, unaware of his next words. "I never meant to keep anything from you, even when we were younger" His eyes found mine again. "I'm just a coward who was always afraid of what came next. If I spoke out loud the words on my mind, everything would turn against me" He chuckles bitterly, "I guess I never outgrew that"

I shake my head "You should sleep, you're drunk" I knew it by the slurs in his words. It didn't matter if he had a few drinks or a ton of them.

"I don't understand it, still after all these months I can't wrap my mind around the situation" He ignored my words and continued, and I furrowed my brows as he spoke. "Minho I'm--" He shook his head and a small tear escaped his eyes, making me frown "I'm scared"

I scoot closer to him without a second thought, grabbing his face, I wiped his tears as I shook my head "What are you afraid of?" I spoke gently.

His hand found mine on his cheek "Losing you forever", I stared into his eyes, my hands slipping off his face. "But I already did, didn't I?"

I look down "Jisung you shouldn't, you have a--"

"I love you" He interrupted me. I turn my head away from him, feeling the tears finally slip past my eyes and I wipe them. "Tell me you love me," He said in an almost desperate voice. I felt him get up and before I knew it, he kneeled in front of me. "Tell me that I haven't lost you forever"

I look at him and he frowns, "Jisung"

He grabs my hands softly in his, holding them as he says "Tell me, come on. Tell me you love me, I love you..." The sight broke me, his tears and mine.

I saw the desperation and helplessness in his eyes as he hoped I still belonged to him. I knew I couldn't just give in, that wouldn't help my situation. I still didn't have the answers I needed, though I just wanted to be in his arms and tell him that it would be okay, I couldn't.

But I knew the answer to his plea, I knew where my heart remained.

*Now playing - Darling
by Montell Fish*