𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

18 | Always Darling

*Now playing - About
You by The 1975*

Things were good—finally good. Still, I felt something was holding the male back from fully explaining the situation he got caught up in a few months ago. What truly made him stay away from us?

I didn't care now. I know I will soon enough but right now I don't care. His steps seemed lighter along with the way the light shined down on his face. He was just so, so beautiful.

Since the moment I met Jisung, everything about him was good. His heart and his intentions. We were like roses and sadly sometimes they die but I replanted them. I grew them and I found him again and again. I'll take that as fate.

Jisung looked up at me, his eyes squinting as he playfully smirked "Your staring"

I shrug "I'm admiring"

He chuckles "Well then let me not interrupt"

"Too late, now I want to hear your voice" He nods slowly "So Valerie was the childhood friend?"

"Yeah, I guess," He says and I furrow my brows.

"You guess?" I question.

"I consider you more of my childhood friend than I do her. We just hung around the school and sometimes went to the park together, but you and me—" He chuckled lightly and my brows raise slightly.

"What?"

He shook his head "Nothing, just sometimes when I think about it—we did everything together" I swallow harshly as Jisung looks me in the eyes softly "I think it's crazy I didn't realize my feelings sooner" I look away and around the bakery we chose to grab a quick bite before parting ways. "Minho" I look at him again "You promise me nothing is going on with you and that guy?"

That guy? I assume he means Luca. Jisung—he wasn't really the type to be jealous or at least show it. With Luca, I think it brought it out of him just like it did with Jae.

He knew how much I cared for him but when he feels that there was a chance I might be feeling even a tad bit towards someone else, to put it lightly he would hold it in until he no longer could. Meaning, if he has the chance he will probably kick their ass.

Thing was, I hardly let myself feel for someone else. My heart was his but with Jae, I allowed him to have a piece of me—my body just that, Jisung didn't like. In high school, though I was a bit drunk, I kissed a boy and made sure Jisung saw me doing so. Why? Well because he was in the bathroom fucking some girl's brains out. He saw me kiss the boy and the next day he got into a fight with him.

What I'm saying is, as Jisung looks me in the eyes and asks me this. I see it, the anxiousness in his eyes.

I grab his hand over the table and give him a small reassuring smile "Nothing happened or ever will happen. It's us, me and you. Always?"

He looks at our hands and moves them to lace our fingers together "Always darling" 

-

"Have a good morning?" Felix asks and I look at him.

Nodding slowly "Yeah, Jisung stood over"

Felix smiles softly "I'm sorry about the other day, I didn't mean for it to sound the way it did"

"So you didn't mean it as you thought I should give up on Jisung?" I ask "That's kinda how it sounded"

"I mean—not really. I didn't think he would come back and if he did when? I just want you happy, and if that's Jisung then great. I want both of you happy"

I look away and sigh lowly "Can I ask you something?" I look at him hesitantly.

"Of course" He puts his full focus on me.

I lick my dry lips and continue "Is it bad that I enjoy Luca's company?" I ask and Felix shakes his head and before he can say something I say "I know how much Jisung doesn't like him—"

"Wait, how does he know about Luca?"

My eyes widen slightly "B-Because he admitted to watching me... said he had to make sure I was safe" I shrug "He saw me with him on new years and after"

"And he expressed his disliking?" I nod.

"Yeah, and I get it. I wouldn't want him around someone he almost slept with"

"But?" Felix asks.

"But I might have allowed Luca to crawl inside my head"

"Or heart?" Felix smirks and I shake my head vigorously.

"No, no I don't see him like that" I shut down his words "I just like how I feel around him" I admitted.

"I have a feeling that's the first time you're saying this out loud"

I look down "It is and it feels wrong"

"It's not" I look at him, feeling guilty that I'm putting him in the middle of this but I just need someone to talk to about this. "It's actually very normal to care about more than one person"

I roll my eyes "Really? I wasn't aware" I said sarcastically.

"But you haven't, have you?"

I look at him for a second before shaking my head "No, not really" I sigh loudly "It's kind of always been Jisung, honestly I can't picture myself with anyone else"

"Maybe that's the problem"

"I don't want it to be a problem" I shake my head lightly "Why can't it just be that simple? I want him but why is my head making me think otherwise? Why when I'm with Luca I ignore Jisung? It shouldn't be like that"

"What does your heart want?"

"Jisung"

"Does it really want that or are you saying it wants that because that's all you've ever known?" I furrow my brows, going to talk but he continues "What are you so afraid of?"

My eyes brim with tears "Nothing"

"I'm trying to help you Minho"

I groan and rub my face harshly, with a loud sigh I say "Losing him!" I said. "I-I don't want to lose him...again" Felix frowns "He-He feels like my home. He is home. He's the closest thing I have to it. Just his whole being brings me peace even when things aren't great between us just knowing he's here is enough. Every time I kiss him I suddenly just feel better and his smile, god his smile just warms my heart"

"But you want Luca?"

My eyebrows pushed together and I was lost for words for a second before my shoulder slumped and I shrug "I don't know what I want" I said defeatedly. "I will never hurt Jisung. I will never cheat on him but when I'm with Luca, even though it's friendly it feels like I am."

I run my finger through my hair "But i'm also tired" I said, "I'm tired of feeling like Jisung is lying to me. I feel like I'll never fully have him because his mind is constantly guarded. He's always just told me the truth, little by little and right now I'm fine with it because things are good but I know me, I know soon enough it will be the only thing I think about"

"Do you think there's a reason he's hiding it?"

I shrug "I can never tell with him"

Felix sighs softly and walks to me, "I'm by your side no matter what happens Minho but I do think if you choose Jisung—you should at least tell Luca so he will back off a bit"

*Now playing - About
You by The 1975*

The tea is boiling. but it's still not scorching hot.

Anyways idc if this is minsung lmao. team Luca or team Jisung?