26. This is Me Trying

8.3K 784 367
                                    

I stare out the window in what most people call utter defeat

Ops! Esta imagem não segue as nossas directrizes de conteúdo. Para continuares a publicar, por favor, remova-a ou carrega uma imagem diferente.

I stare out the window in what most people call utter defeat. My physiotherapist left an hour ago and everytime he leaves, he looks more defeated than before. I've been working with him for two weeks. Since the day my cast was taken off and he doesn't say it, but my legs show no scope of improvement. He tries to seem cheery but I read between the lines. I would never walk again.

All in all, life seems miserable to me now. There is nothing good or exciting left in it-

"It's been a while."

Who the fuck let him in?

I specifically mentioned no visitors to the security team responsible for this building, but people clearly have difficulties taking simple instructions apparently. My hand hovers over the switch of my wheelchair, ready to move away but he doesn't let me.

"If you're thinking of getting away from me, I swear I will hunt you down and scream in your ears." What kind of a disturbing threat is that? Fucking Lunatic. "Why are you here?"

"I'm getting married." Against my nonsense brain, that is screaming at me to stay put, I turn around to face him. Ansh stands there, all tall and pretty with what seems like an invitation in one hand.

"Congratulations. Why are you here?" Good for him if he is getting married, though I still see no reason for him to be here. He sighs before looking around the house. "I'm here to invite you. You are not just my friend Yuvaan, you are my brother. I want you to be there." And I wish I could be there too but life sucks.

"Thanks for the offer but I can't."

"Stop pushing people away. We are your family, we miss you, we love you-"

"The man you love and miss isn't here anymore. He is gone. I'm not someone you want there on your special day."

"That's what you think. For once Yuvaan, try and think from our side. We see the same person. Please just- just come back to us. Everything will be fine." Nothing is fucking fine and it won't be any fine by some magic. I don't have a life anymore. It's been two months since the accident and I've been sitting in this wheelchair, contemplating why I even survived?

This life is not something I want. Not something I would ever want. I am tired and frustrated and handicapped. I can't even love the people I used to the same way because I don't even love myself anymore. All I see in the mirror everyday when I look at myself is a waste of space.

"Please leave." He sighs again, this time with tears in his eyes. I don't even have the energy to console him. If I did, I would've consoled myself first. He walks closer and forwards the invitation card. When I make no move of taking it from him, he keeps it in my lap gently, before leaning down and dropping his chin on top of my head.

He pulls away when we hear the door open and Trisha walks in. She seems surprised when she sees Ansh before smiling at him in welcome. Ansh backs away from me, still staring for a bit before turning away hugging Trisha a goodbye and leaving.

Hasratein Onde as histórias ganham vida. Descobre agora