Moonlark Turned Evil

Inktober Special: Saddle

I definitely did not start playing a youtube video for "those two friends who share a braincell" to write this your honour i'm innocent

This chapter is brought to you by California Gurls at full volume

I also listened to Grump It on repeat multiple times

I think you all remember the chaos quartet going to rescue Sophie during that venice fiasco a while ago (or maybe you dont) (but it was them btw) (i love them so much) (inia chaos quartet 🔛🔝)

This chapter is so #on_crack compared to yesterday lmao💀

I can't remember if Maruca has manifested in MTE?? Just pretend she has im too tired to check

#lazy #tf_is_this #imsleepy #bye

"We have to ride these?" Maruca gawked.

The four things/monster/creatures/whatever you wanted to call them were enormous. Like, 'let's run away screaming' enormous. They were big enough that the goblins and two ogres who stood next to Wylie seemed like midgets in comparison. With stubby noses, round bodies, hairy stomachs, long tails, manes, and bunny ears . . . they looked like a hybrid between so many different animals that he didn't even want to ask.

"How do we even get up there?" Stina muttered.

Fitz looked thoughtful, like he was cooking up some kind of idea—and after the martini thing, Wylie honestly did not want to know what he was planning—but thankfully he stayed quiet and waited for Ro speak.

Unfortunately, Ro's idea of instruction was to not instruct them. She snapped her fingers. "What're you waiting for? Get up there, chop chop."

Wylie gave her an incredulous look. "Your Highness, they're like . . ." He gestured vaguely.

"So? Elves can levitate, right?"

"Yes, we can, but . . ."

Ro wasn't budging.

Maruca jumped up on a series of shields, and Wylie mentally cursed the many ways Psionipaths could manipulate their abilities as she stuck her tongue out at the three of them from on top one of the beasts.

"What are these creatures called?" Fitz asked.

It was Woltzer who answered. "Mastifs."

"Like the dog . . . ?" Wylie said hesitantly.

"Mastiffs were named after Mastifs," Grizel explained. "Don't look at me like that, it was the humans who did it, not us."

Fitz was second up, using levitation to shakily make his way into the saddle atop the second Mastif. He seated himself, breathing a sigh of relief. "I thought I was going to get my neck snapped in half from the murderous glare I was getting."

"I wish you did!" Stina shouted at him from the ground.

"No violence amongst teammates," Sandor berated.

Stina gave him a look. "Sandor, you literally tried to beat Bo up the other day because he said you were ugly."

"He is," Bo snickered.

"I am not," Sandor snarled at Bo, "and we're not teammates so that's fine!"

"We're not teammates either," Wylie pointed out, half serious, and Stina elbowed him in the ribs.

"What're you talking about, Endal?" she said. "We're the Chaos Quartet. Do I need to smash your skull in for you to understand that?"

Wylie gulped. "Yes ma'am."

Stina nodded, satisfied.

"Get working, both of you," Ro said, coming up behind them and gripping their shoulders. "The other two are already riding, and your mounts are going to end up following them. You'll be left behind if you don't catch up."

So, it turned out that Mastifs could fly.

Stina mouthed a word that Wylie would rather not repeat as her mount took off into the sky. She glanced between the bodyguards, and took several steps back as she honed in on Sandor. Wylie had a sudden terrifying premonition of what she was about to do.

"Sandor," she said calmly.

"Yes?"

"Throw me into the air."

"What?"

"Throw me. At that thing."

She sprinted towards him, jumping into his arms. Sandor fumbled around, taking a few steps back, but he ended up propelling her up into the air high enough that she could grab the tail of her Mastif. It turned to glare at her, and she ignored its gaze, swinging and flipping into the saddle. She landed with a thump and a loud, "TAKE THAT, WYLIE!"

Wylie looked at Sandor. "Is there any chance that you could do that for me, too, or . . ."

Sandor backed away from him, looking traumatized.

"Right." Wylie patted his head consolingly. "Don't worry, you'll get used to Stina. She grows on you."

"I find that very hard to believe," the goblin said.

"Can anyone else give me a boost?" Wylie asked, turning to the rest of the bodyguards.

"Can I?" Ro repeated, almost offended, and Wylie immediately tried to sprint away. The ogress grabbed him from behind as he ran and threw him into the sky.

"PRINCESS ROMHILDA!" he screamed.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I CAN THROW A DAGGER AFTER YOU!"

"NO THANK YOU!"

Wylie slammed into the side of the Mastif—"BRILLIANT AIM, YOUR HIGHNESS!" "THANKS, I DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"—and furiously scrambled up into the saddle, not wanting to fall twenty meters to the ground and break all the bones in his body.

"Great, now you're all settled." Ro had brought out a megaphone—Where on earth did she get that? Wylie asked Fitz with his eyes. Fitz shrugged and replied soundlessly, At this point, we shouldn't even question her—and she aimed it up at them as they rode their huge Mastifs around the training room. "By the way, did I tell you guys why we chose the fireproof room?"

Wylie suddenly felt very threatened.

Bo was rolling around, banging his fists against the ground and wheezing. Woltzer and Grizel were laughing outright as Sandor attempted to keep it in.

". . . They didn't," Maruca said, utterly resigned to whatever fate the bodyguards had prepared for them.

"These Mastifs," Ro announced happily, like she was at a New Years party and she'd just been complimented by her crush, "breathe fire. They also have electric tails. They will stomp on you if they have the chance, and, as you can see, their feet are big enough to crush you with one kick. I'm sure you've all observed that they have four of these feet. The last thing you should know is that they can shoot spikes out of their bodies at any place of their choosing, and the saddle definitely isn't spike proof so . . . ladies, be careful that you don't get stabbed in there by something not so nice."

"DO YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS?!" Stina shrieked at her, leaning over the side of her Mastif.

"They don't like loud noises," Ro said, smiling, and Stina jerked backwards just in time to avoid a spike that came out from the Mastif's neck and tried to stab her in the eye.

"Your objective today," Sandor took the megaphone from Ro, "is to escape this room without your body—holographic, and made for training purposes—being destroyed."

Ro snatched the megaphone back. "Have fun guys~"

Wylie didn't even have the energy to be mad at her.