CLASSROOM OF THE ELITE X QUINTS: Complicated Feelings

Kushida SS (Limerence)

The gentle luminance cast from the eclipse gave a sense of tranquility between the sky and the sea.

Neither crashing waves nor sudden gusts of wind - it was only silence.

A beige-haired girl stood alone in the railings. Her crimson-gradient eyes fixed at the calm blackish-blue ocean, her mind deeply occupied with a train of thoughts.

She seemed lost; she's frustrated; she's tired; she's troubled, both mentally and emotionally.

'Why? Why does everything start to fall apart? I'd done everything I could! I'd use every means there is!-' she bit her lips. 'No... Why am I even acting like this? I can't seem to understand why I'm chasing him... is it because he's unobtainable? Is it because I want to gain his trust, then make him reveal his secrets.. or make him long for me, similar to the others?' She thought not. That was honestly her original plan - an ikeman that trusted her and harbored feelings for her would certainly make her more popular -, but the more she hung out with him, the more she'd fall into her own trap.

The opposite gradually happened, until it reached a point of no return.

Kushida failed to understand why she liked him.

'He was not that special'

Smart and hot boys, she'd been with them; she didn't see them in a romantic way, but they adored her.

'It only takes a light touch and sweet words for them to fall in line.'

Then what makes him different?

'He mostly declined my invitation. He won't listen to anything I say. He would nonchalantly ignore me. I lost count how many times he did it to me.'

She even went as far as confessing her love to him - the first time she'd do it -, and yet he wasn't moved at all.

She treated him as someone special, but a glint of annoyance could be traced on his eyes when their gazes met.

He's everything to her - to the point she momentarily puts aside on how to deal with a certain someone -, however, she's nothing to him.

Her longing for his affection turned into obsession.

She wanted to be recognized, acknowledged, relied on, trusted, and desired by one person.

Neither her adorable acting nor mature side didn't work. But the girl that had his heart was just your typical gyaru.

She couldn't find anything special about her. Yes! She admitted that the other girl was attractive, but she also didn't fall short in that aspect. She's friendly to both genders, while the other was only nice to her girl friends. She's more intelligent than your average student, on the other hand, the girl he liked was lacking in the brain department.

She couldn't believe his preference.

Even a more formidable rival of his heart; someone who stole the hearts of many boys in their year and the upper years, couldn't change his mind. He still chose that girl over her.

Nakano Nino... there was nothing special about her.

'But why is Ayanokouji-kun so in love with her?'

Her eyelids fell, she closed her drossy eyes; she touched her left chest; she felt her heart ache.

Sounds of footsteps reached her ears. The tranquil moment was interrupted by a welcomed visitor.

Kushida turned her head to the approaching figure towards her. His lifeless hazel-brown eyes gleamed in the dark, and his lean body gave off an intimidating pressure.

Ayanokouji was currently calm, and didn't show any kind of wariness to the girl, but the way he showcased his strength this morning, changed the others opinion at him.

He stopped before her, their eyes met.

"Why do you want to meet me, Ayanokouji-kun?" she asked, her voice sounded tired.

The brown-haired never failed to notice one's change of atmosphere around them. He traced the sadness in her eyes. He's uncertain if she put any effort in hiding it or not, well there were times where everything's too heavy and one could no longer keep it inside. Kushida might be experiencing such weight in her heart tonight.

"I wanted to personally thank you for telling me earlier." he gets straight-to-the-point.

Ayanokouji wanted to wrap it up quickly, so that she could get some rest, and hopefully resolve her internal battle. A certain feeling grew inside of him from seeing her downcast.

Kushida's mouth tasted bitter after hearing his words. She knew, for now, she'd have no chance to be together with him. Still, she hoped his purpose for wanting to meet her was not about the other girl. It was unfortunately the reason.

Fate seemed to be playing with her. Is it karma? She doesn't know.

"I see..." she cast down her gaze. "I'm glad that nothing bad happened to her."

That was not the plan. Her hand secretly gripped into a fist.

The long awkward silence

"Are you fine-" he was about to ask how she's feeling, but she interjected.

"Ayanokouji-kun," she called.

"Yes?"

"Can I use your chest?" her question was vague, yet he quickly understood what she meant.

"Sure," Kushida dug her face right away as he gave his permission, her fingers gripped his shirt, sobbing, muttering a single word,

"Why? Why?sob Why? Why?sob Why?-" can't I have you? Why can't you just accept me? Just love me! I did everything to keep those pests away from you! I over exaggerated our moments together, making the others jealous and marking you as mine! I pushed that bitch Karuizawa to Hirata the time I heard she's interested in you! I keep poking my goddamn nose to that stiff Horikita and was glad that she doesn't see you in a romantic way! I was jumping my heart out when the front of the entranceway incident happened! You're finally free from that bitch! I contributed a number of nasty rumors, adding flames to your name, so that the others would grow discouraged and go away from you! I put pressure on that slut big titties Ichinose so that she would grow impatient and hopefully get rejected by you! I keep pushing her, even as far as almost showing my real face to her! Just to force her to do a move to you! I saved you from being ganged-up by those boys in Class C, And when you still longed for her, I cooperated with that crazy Ryueen to bully her... That psycho was sharp, as he's suspicious of what I would gain from giving information to the other class - her being his hostage would make Ayanokouji save her - and then letting you know of her situation, you went there and ended up getting beaten-up... That Nakano would be forced to quit school from either being traumatized, or self-guilt for being the main reason for your sorry state! And I would stay by your side, nursing you, until you're well... that was the plan! That was my fucking plan! Why!? Why!? Why!? Why can't a single thing proceed to what I want!? After all of my fucking efforts! You still want her! You still chose her! Over me... I didn't know you were strong... I didn't expect that the student council would arrive on the scene... I didn't... I didn't understand why I was acting like this... Am I that hard to love?... I want to ask you, but I am very well aware... you would dodge the question...'

Ayanokouji felt her tears seeping through his cloth. He gently caressed her back, completely oblivious of the chaos brewing inside her mind.

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Sorry, I forgot to edit ✌️