NEMESIS || TOM KAULITZ 18+

save myself

18th of November

Eris's pov

I wake up in Crystals bed, no recollection of how i even got there, my head stung as i lifted it up, to see Crystal sat besides me. She was zoned out staring at her own fingers, Id never seen Crystal like that- She always looked so happy, that you could mistake her for being on Crack. I tap her shoulder, smiling weakly

"Your awake?!" Crystal says pulling me into her arms. I smile under her warm embrace. But i can feel her body shaking on mine. I pull from her hug to look into her eyes, She was smiling, but i could tell that something was troubling Crystal, eating away at her.

"Are you okay Crystal?" I ask, i watch the smile fade away, as she doesn't seam to be able to fake it anymore

"You shouldn't have come back Eris, You should've stayed with Angelo."

"What? Why Crystal?" i ask.

"Because now your a tokio, just like me- Eris i didn't tell you this before, because i thought you'd be safe, you know since Angelo was.." She trails off into blind rambling.

I look her straight in the eyes, holding her shoulders so that she'd face me, I could tell she was holding something back.

"safe from what, Crystal?"

"We're stuck.. Stuck here Eris. Your a Tokio until you die"

I shake my head, rubbing my temples,Crystal seamed scattered, stressed. I started to really analyse her, her braids up in a messy bun, she had dark circles as if she'd not slept, and her makeup from the day prior was still on, smudged.

"What do you mean stuck? Crystal are you.. high?" I sigh, she was making no sense.

She looks at me, a deep sadness in her eyes, that i never seamed to realise before. She almost resembled a completely different person.

"I could've lost you yesterday.. I'm sorry Eris- i should've warned you.."

"Warned me? Crystal your not making sense right now." I say, still looking deep into her eyes. That bright bubbly personality, seamed to have diminished.

"I thought Tom was keeping you away from this- I thought you'd be different from Mila. Eris.." She says choking back tears and clutching my leg.

"I'm not here by choice.. Fuck, i don't even love Georg. Once your a Tokio.. You stay a Tokio.I've been stuck living with these psychopaths for fucking years- doing jobs for them.. Coming close to death countless times" Crystal whimpers

"Crystal- This is way too much for me to process"I say rubbing my bandage "Who's Mila..? And why are you here if you don't love Georg?"

She looks at me gulping.

"I'm going to explain to you carefully. Listen to me Eris." Her big brown eyes boring into the back of my skull.

I nod, prying her to carry on.

"I lived here with my sister Mila, Back when i loved Georg, she loved Tom.. Mila was one of the most powerful Tokios, she ran the streets. Until our family was killed by some rivals.. or something. I remember when she came home, she wanted to leave the Tokios. But the boys wouldn't let her Eris. Because once you become a Tokio, the only way out is death. She tried so hard to escape, i should've gone with her.. They killed her Eris.. Tom killed his own girlfriend, my sister." Crystal cried into my lap. I stroke her back shushing her, and trying to fathom what she had just told me.

My brian ticks, as it slowly connects the dots.. The green dress.. Angelos warning.. Bills warning. Maybe even Lucas?!

So this whole time.. Dumb, friendly party monster Crystal, she was terrified. She'd held this secret. How did i not see it? I feel stupid..

"When i look at you, Eris.. I see Mila. I can't let you end up like her. We have to run away."

I'm lost for words

"But.. you said they'll kill us if we leave?" I ask,

"We'll die here if we don't anyway Eris, now that Angelos dead, there's a gang war. This is the only time we can escape. "

Hearing about Angelo just sends a wave of pain into my chest, i feel my gut wrench, realising that it was real, i'd lost my big brother.

"I... I need to think about this." I say, weakly getting up from the bed. I hobble over to the door,

"Oh, and Eris? It's not a coincidence that every person who's tried to save you ended up dead. He wanted another Mila" Crystal mutters to me, as i leave her and enter my own room. I sink down into the mattress. My mind aching.

So i either run away with Crystal.. Or risk being killed in this stupid gang, and be stuck with them forever. I hold my head, trying to keep the thoughts that were racing  around in it still. I realise that apart from Crystal, i'm completely isolated. If she leaves without me, then i'll be on my own. Relying on Tom to live. And right now i don't know if i can trust Tom.

I don't know what to do.. As i lay in my bed questioning. Throughout the day the pain in my side grows stronger, forcing me to get out of bed, i throw a coat on over my pj shorts, stumbling out of my Apartment in search for a pharmacist or something. But as i make my way to the elevator , it opens, revealing Tom, standing besides a tall, pale and bony woman. She had a very stern face, with high cheekbones. I looked up at the both of them, as Tom stared back down at me, confused almost.

At this point i don't even care who the woman is- or why the both of them are in my apartment building. I just keep my head down, and walk past them into the elevator . The woman strides past, but Tom lingers behind, staring into me with a questioning face.

"Why are you out of bed?" He asks.

I can't even look at him- for the fear that he'll see my eyes, and they'll give away my intentions to escape. "Medicine." I mumble whilst punching in the bottom floor button. The elevator doors finally close, hiding me from Tom.

I return back into my apartment building a short while later, with pain killers and a bottle of whiskey in a bag. Trudging through, i notice that Tom, Georg and this mystery woman are sitting in my living room. She turns to me, raising her eyebrows.

"Who's that?" Her voice sounds proper, she seamed a very pretentious lady.

"You've heard of trigger.. right?" Tom says bluntly, almost as if i'm not even in the room. I carry on limping past them. Not even giving them a second thought.

I enter crystals room. On hearing my entrance, i watch as she kicks a backpack under her bed, she looked terrified almost. But seeing my face her shoulders relax, as she falls into her desk chair. I sit on the edge of her bed, pulling out the whiskey and offering it to her, as she grabs it i notice her expression, a questioning glance.

"I think i wanna come with you- But.." I start, only to be cut off my Crystal

"I know Tom probably acts like he loves you- But he did the same with Mila.. That's why you wanna stay right? because of Tom? He cheated on Mila, Eris you can't trust him." she whispers passive aggressively.

"I don't- Crystal this is a big deal.. it mean if i run away i'll leave university behind, i won't see my mother.."

"And if you stay i can guarantee that you'll wind up dead, even if it's not the Tokios who kill you."

I snatch the bottle from Crystal and take a swig, watching her watch me, Crystal never looked so determined. I nod at her, this time i'm choosing to save myself.