NEMESIS || TOM KAULITZ 18+

Cold and gone

I'm crouched on the floor, my hands clasping over my head. As i did so another bang sounded, and i hear a body drop to the floor. I'm too scared to open my eyes to the scene that is in front of me, knowing another person was surely dead.

I squint one eye open, to see a puddle of blood by my feet, jumping i stood up, taking steps back, in front of me lay Angelo, his body just like Kats, both dead because of me. I rush to him, kneeling behind him away from his blood. I'm wailing by now, resting my arms and head on his back. Crying into his t-shirt as he lay cold and gone. I called his name aimlessly, wishing to hear his voice for one last time. Not a single thought lay in my mind, instead just a lingering intense heartache. I felt physically in pain as i stroked his chocolate hair. I missed him already, but not the Angelo that had died, the Angelo that i knew before all of this shit. My platonic soulmate that i'd grew up with, that had been my parent, and my brother, my best friend.

As i sat sobbing into his dead skin, it felt as if it was only us in the world. My surroundings become a haze, and suddenly it felt like i was being pulled back into reality- Tom was gripping onto my waist, pulling my comforting hands from Angelo.

"Come on Eris! Now!" Tom shouted, even he sounded scattered, in shock. He pulled me off the ground and into his arms, as i cried into Toms shoulder, but then realising what he'd done, my sadness shifted, into anger. I beat my fists on Toms back, screaming at him, telling him what he'd done, that he'd shot my brother. All the while Tom stayed silent, walking me back to his car.

He placed me in the back of his car, shutting the door, i didn't care for where i was going, instead i laid across the seats, still crying. Tom sat himself behind the wheel, shouting over the shuddering engine

"What's wrong with you?! have you got Stockholm's syndrome or something? I just saved you." he says

I look up at him, the tears stinging my red eyes.

"What would you do if i killed Bill.." I say, fighting back the tears that shook my words.

He shrugged, checking the front view mirror as he backed away from my brothers house.

"I'm not like you Tom! I fucking care." I say.

"And you think i don't? If i didn't care i wouldn't have killed that prick. I would've just let him shoot you." Tom argued back.

I decide that this argument was going nowhere, instead i just press my hands over my eyes, breathing in and trying to subdue my tears as we left his lifeless body.

Tom drove in silence for a while, i hadn't realised just how far away Angelos house was. To try and suppress my quivering breath, i zoned out watching Toms hand as it controlled the gear stick, the same bony hand that'd pulled the trigger, part of me wanted to snap that hand.

The sun had started to set in the distance of the long road we were headed down, as Tom finally speaks again

"I'm sorry Eris. I could've sworn he shot you-"

I say nothing, my Head spinning.

"I just wanna forget about it, you know." I confide in Tom, i needed someone right then, even if i was the person who killed Angelo in the first place.

"Mhm.. i think i know how." Tom says softly, as he pulls into an opening in a wooded area. I sit up in the seat, staring out of the window at the trees surrounding us in confusion.

As soon as the car came to a lulling stop, Tom jumps out of the car and opens my door, Nodding at me to follow him. We walk through some trees and into an opening, a luscious grassy cliff edge sat overlooking the falling sun. As he guides me to sit there besides him.

"How do you know about this place?" I say.

"I used to come here with somebody a lot- That person isn't here anymore, i imagine them here at peace, and you can do the same with Angelo."
Tom mutters picking at the soft grass we sit on. I listen to him and stare into the beautiful sky, picturing Angelo as the sun, the way it's slowly falling just like how his life ends.

"I know you don't understand why i still love my brother, But it's because he was a good person before-.." I said, the lump still in my throat.

Tom sighed heavily, Closing his eyes he speaks "You don't have to explain, I know what it feels like to lose someone who changed."

I decide not to say anymore, but to lie back into the dewy green carpet. exhaling heavily, the back of my jumper felt wet, probably from the condensation that sat on the blades of grass.

"Now what?" I say

Tom shrugs, Still looking forward "Don't worry about that right now, you wanna forget right."

I do, it's true, i would pay money to forget, forget his dead face- Forget that it was my fault. But the more i fantasised about forgetting, the more i thought about Him.

I wince, the pain in my chest growing stronger, i never knew loss could hurt like this.

"Come here." Tom says with his arms open, I sit in between them, enjoying his warmth. My brain was scattered and as much as i wanted to hate Tom for everything, i knew it was because of me.

I cry gently in his chest as he shushes me, running his gentle fingers through my hair, He kisses the top of my head gently, making me pull my face up to look at him, he wipes my tears delicately. Looking into my eyes and i almost see a hint of melancholy behind those dark orbs, the same eyes that housed the rage of a murderer.

I needed a distraction.