Mr. Ex

25. Ego

🎵 jungkook - still with you

"I will."

Jeonghan had promised to be there when you wake up. And there he is. Standing beside you waiting for your eyes to show signs of waking up. His fingers linger over your forehead but he pulls away before it touches your skin.

Seeing your chest rose up and down in a steady rhythm, he feels calmer. He looked around to find pen and paper from the drawer, decided to leave a note in case you wake up when he's out getting a drink.

If you read this, means you finally wake up after I wait for fifty five years. I'll be back soon, getting a drink.

He gently takes your right hand to slide the paper between your fingers. Then he gently places your hand on your stomach. One foot was already out of the door when he glanced at you one last time.

Jeonghan opened the vitamin drink he bought from the vending machine but didn't drink it. At first it looked refreshing but somehow now it looks unappetizing. He was only looking down at it when he heard a familiar voice calling out to him from a distance. The vitamin drink was eventually set aside.

"How is she?" Seungcheol had just arrived at the hospital when he found Jeonghan sitting alone in the quiet lobby.

Jeonghan got several bandages on his face and hands because of the scratches wound. Compared to your condition, he looks much better and Seungcheol is grateful for that. He didn't come to the hospital with the whole members, afraid it would attract too much attention. There were only four of them--Seungcheol himself, Woozi, Joshua and Wonwoo.

"She's still sleeping." Jeonghan's hoarse voice sounded so weak, tired also hinted a trace of regret, "Some stitches on her head, she needs casts on her neck, left arm, right leg. But the doctor said no surgery needed."

"At least she didn't need any surgery, that's one thing we can be thankful for." Wonwoo sat down next to Jeonghan, patting his knee gently.

"How about you? Are you okay?" Joshua reached his hand out to brush Jeonghan's hair off his forehead carefully, checking the bandage.

"I'm fine," Jeonghan also brushed his injured forehead with his finger, "But it's a fucking mess inside my head."

"I dare say that something is messing with your mind because you're carrying all the burdens alone," Woozi crossed his arms as he stood right in front of Jeonghan, "And you didn't tell us what it is."

Jeonghan looked away, unable to make eye contact with his members. He seems very conflicted with himself to the point where he doesn't know what is right or wrong and blames himself.

"Didn't we share all our burdens together over the years?" Seungcheol looked down to meet Jeonghan's eyes, he looked really worried, "What makes it different this time?"

"We'll get through this slowly together, okay?" Joshua who stood behind Jeonghan gently massaged his tense shoulders.

They let Jeonghan spend as much time as he needed with himself until he was ready to talk. In the midst of the silence they waited patiently. They didn't talk about anything else either, they just waited.

Meanwhile, Jeonghan was staring at his palms. He was trying to hold on to something so big he almost lost it. Seungcheol seems to notice it so he took Jeonghan's hand in his, followed by the others. When Jeonghan feel their warmth on his, realization slowly crept into him, washing away the anxiety he was experiencing. He's not alone, has never been.

"I honestly don't know where to start." Jeonghan exhale a heavy breath.

"Baby steps, one at a time." Wonwoo gently pat Jeonghan on his back.