Nobody's Fool Y'all

38

Melrick Andersen was a bootlegger, a car thief, and it was whispered in lower circles, a murderer. He was 23 years old. He was short on patience and even shorter on cash when he drove by The Rimfeld Bank & Trust. It seemed a no-brainer to add bank robbery to his list of crimes. Melrick couldn't find an honest job, not that he tried that hard, and he had no qualms about stirring up a few dishonest ones every now and then.

It was 1927. Coolidge was president, and Charles Dawes was his second in command. Lindy had crossed the Atlantic, accomplishing an amazing feat, (especially when you remembered half the pilots before him had died trying), and the first telephone call had been made from New York to London. 

Al Jolson would open in The Jazz Singer, singing to astounded audiences and marking the end of silent movies. Flooding rains had caused levees to break, and the mighty Mississippi flooded like never before. 

Work would begin on the four presidents' heads at Mount Rushmore. Joseph Stalin would take over mighty Russia. Hoagy Carmichael and Duke Ellington were popular. A manual washing machine costs fifteen bucks and change. An electric one around eighty dollars.

As Melrick let the engine idle in his stolen car, he wondered what Kate was up to. The ache in his chest caused his heart to skip a beat. Man, he missed that girl. He wanted her back more than anything else in the world, but he wouldn't go back groveling.

He needed money in his pocket. Big money. Paper and jingle. There was nothing like a wad of dough in his pocket to put the spring back in his step. Money, Melrick thought. If he could only get enough, he could set the world straight and right things with Kate. He'd been planning to do a job for a couple of weeks, but it was hard to find just the right bank.

This one seemed to fit the bill.

With a little luck, Melrick reasoned, he could win her back. Kate would be putty in his hands. He'd bribe his way back into her heart if he had to. What did he care how he got her back, as long as he was successful. 

Melrick smiled and chewed on the sliver of wood in his mouth. He'd intended on using it as a toothpick, but his nerves were on edge. Better to grind his teeth with this oversized splinter than to bite his nails to the quick.

Kate. Kate. Kate. You always were a sucker for nice things. Maybe a fur coat. Or better yet, some jewelry.

The smile broke wider across Melrick's face.

If he was successful, he knew just the ring he wanted for her – a big green cat's eye stone surrounded by diamonds. Green was Kate's favorite color.

But rings like that cost a wad of dough, if he couldn't manage to steal one. And the thought kept tickling his brain that The Rimfeld Bank & Trust would be loaded with the loot. He cut the engine and got out of the car. Nobody was on the street. It was just too darn hot.

The hottest summer day Melrick could remember in a long time. Even the dogs had gone home to roost under a shade tree. He wiped his brow with his handkerchief, jammed it back into his pocket, and ambled across to the sidewalk. 

There was no need to hurry. No need to act anything but normal. Melrick walked across the street, bent down, emptied something from a small box onto the pavement. He stood up, cleared his throat, crossed back to the other side of the street, and entered the bank.

"Howdy," he said, all smiles and friendly-like.

The young man behind the counter greeted the stranger.

"Can I get change for this?" Melrick asked, handing the teller a ten-dollar bill.

"Certainly, sir," the teller said, looking down to retrieve the change.

When the young man looked up, he was staring down the barrel of Melrick's revolver.

"Keep 'em up where I can see them," Melrick said calmly.

Melrick walked around behind the counter. He hit the man on the side of the head with the butt of his gun. The bank employee hit the floor with a heavy thud.

Melrick worked quickly. The vault was opened. He disappeared inside, looting $23,000 in gold and currency. With his take stuffed in a canvas bag, Melrick ran to the car to make his getaway out of town. The sheriff tried to make the chase, but he was cut short. The nails strewn in front of the sheriff's coupe saw to that.

Melrick drove nonstop for two days. He was determined to put as much distance between himself and The Rimfeld Bank & Trust as possible. He hit the city limits in the early hours of the morning, and after a couple of stops, he made his way to Porter's Dress Shop.

Porter's was where Kate worked. It was a fashionable dress shop on Main Street. Porter's was popular. There was a crowd milling about the dress shop when Melrick entered. Several older women were assisting other customers. Melrick looked around. He ambled to the counter where a young girl was busy arranging hats on a shelf. She had her back turned to him.

"You gotta' minute," Melrick said, "I'd like to see you."

Kate dropped the hat she had in her hand.

"Hey, cowboy!" she said, peering over at Mrs. Lynd, the manager.

A particularly stern-looking woman with ramrod posture was giving Kate a cold look.

"Pick up a hat and act like you're interested in buying it," she whispered.

"Come around the counter, Kate. Try it on in the mirror for me," he said.

"What is your friend's favorite color," Kate was saying as she came from behind the counter. "We can change the ribbon to match the color of her eyes."

Kate put the hat on. She was gorgeous. Hat or no. Melrick looked at her reflection in the mirror. He winked. She smiled back at him.

"Perfect," he said. "I'll take it as it is."

He swept her off her feet and out the door into his waiting car before Mrs. Lynd could snort her disapproval.

"Oh, Melrick! What have you done? You just got me fired."

"Forget it, Babe. You don't need that job. And you especially don't need Dragon Lady breathing down your neck all day."

He cranked the car and drove away.

"Look in the back seat," he said.

"Presents!" she said. "Did you rob a store for me?"

"You might say that," he said and smiled slyly.

"Where are we going?" Kate asked.

"A place that's special," he said. "A place far away. Just you and me, Baby. It'll be paradise. You'll see."

"Take me away with you, Ricky," she said. "If I have to work another day in that shop, it will kill me."