Nobody's Fool Y'all

17

 Hadley jumped inside the car and cranked up, relieved to be making her escape.

First stop - Brinkley's.

"Brinkley," she said, "How long for four new tires?"

"For you and this Chevy," the mechanic said, "about as long as it takes a gnat to dry its wings."

"Do it," she said.

"I'll get on it right away," he said.

Hadley got out and walked inside Brinkley's station. She opened the door and came face to face with a woman bent over wiping one of the two kitchenette chairs Brinkley had salvaged from the secondhand store for pennies on the dollar. The butt in question wore a tiger-patterned pair of neon orange and hot pink pants and a bright turquoise top.

"B.!" Hadley exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," she said, "I been running over hell's half-acre, and I'm certainly not spending time planning my wedding. That's for sure."

"With your tight schedule," Hadley said, "I'd imagine you're busier than Onus covering poop on a marble floor!"

"That does about sum it up!"

The wedding was in two weeks. It had been a whirlwind romance. When the proposal was made, Hadley's cousin had accepted and quickly got the ball rolling. There was no sense wasting time at their age, B. had remarked.

"My check engine light keeps coming on," she said. "I'm going down to the island next week with some of my stuff. Everybody says it's better to move it in batches. I've been ferrying out my stuff for the last three weeks. It beats renting a semi, I guess. But now, I have car troubles."

"Tell me about it," Hadley said. "I had a flat on the Chevy."

"I love that car."

"I do too," Hadley said. "I had a flat. I didn't like being stranded on the side of the road and have Bo Dean stop to help me."

"Ugh," B. said. "There's something about that man that makes my skin crawl."

"I know," Hadley said, "and when he stopped and said he'd help, something in his eyes told me not to decline."

"I know what you mean. I think it's the way he tips his head down, and he looks at you through his eyebrows. You know what I mean?"

"I know exactly," said Hadley.

"Course, it could be the fact that he has the brownest eyes I've ever seen. I mean they're brown, but in some light, they look black. Did you know that over fifty percent of everyone has brown eyes?"

"No, I didn't," said Hadley.

"Silver eyes are rare, Hadley. But, I swear, I think if I ever saw somebody with them, they'd look light blue to me."

"Um," said Hadley.

Her cousin had a fantastic memory, and she was always collecting useless trivia. Hadley had told her a hundred times to go on the game shows but to no avail. She didn't collect all those facts to show off, she'd said she simply couldn't help it if things stuck better in her brain than in most other peoples' brains.

She might not have liked to show off her trivial knowledge, but B. did like audacious colors. In that respect, she liked to outshine anybody in the parking lot of Pixie-Squares or on the whole mountain range, for that matter. Poor Lou Edna wasn't even in the same class as good old Cousin Belvia.

"We're wonderfully made," she told Hadley, who had commented on a particularly garish outfit B. was wearing. "Consider the lilies." 

"I like to display myself like them." B. remarked.

"More like the whole meadow with the big box of crayons thrown in for good measure," Hadley had muttered.

"I'm so happy that I haven't gotten seasick once while riding those ferries to the island."

"Do you think you'll like it way out there in the middle of the ocean?" Hadley asked. "It's kind of isolated. if you think about it."

"Well, Hope Rock County isn't exactly New York City," she said, "but I know what you're saying. The island is miles wide, though. There will be so much to keep me busy."

"But in the big blue sea, it's hardly a dot on the map," said Hadley.

"I know. It's all relative, I guess. It's going to take some adjusting, but I've already made one friend out there. She's warned me not to expect a welcoming committee. She's lived there for decades and is still not considered a 'true' islander."

"Sounds like they take a while to warm up to strangers," Hadley said.

"And hill folks don't?"

"Point taken," said Hadley." But I imagine the winter months could be kind of lonely."

"Not for me. Perfect snuggling weather. And I have tons of sewing to catch up on. I am so far behind on my quilting, you wouldn't believe it."

"Well, if you get over there and decide you hate it, give me a buzz. You know you're always welcome at my house."

"Thanks, Hadley. I appreciate that, but I'll bite the nail and tough out my homesickness. I'm marrying such an amazing man. I know it's going to be challenging and different. I've never been off these mountains, but I can't wait. It's scary and wonderful all at the same time. My stomach's in a knot, you know. Nerves and excitement fighting the fifteenth round."

"I'm happy for you, Cuz. I'm really going to miss you like losing my front teeth. That's all I can say."

"You sound like I'm moving halfway across the world," she said. "It's only a few hours drive."

"A few hours drive and a long ferry ride," said Hadley. "And you know how phobic I am about deep water."

"Oh, schmoo. But it is pretty funny. Why do I keep getting this mental image of you wearing a life jacket while you sit in your car on that ferry?"

"Be sure to visualize a nice big inflatable raft sitting beside me on the passenger's side, too," said Hadley. "Two oars and a flare gun. Lots of bottled water and waterproof-packaged snacks. And maybe a black box. You know, I want a pinger location system in case that thing sinks!"

They both laughed.