Nobody's Fool Y'all

37

 They opened the door, and a 1928 Cadillac Sport Phaeton sat in front of their cottage.

"Will you look at that!" said Lou Edna. "It's like a shuttle bus from another era that's gonna shuttle us right up to the grill. Ain't we just the cat's meow?"

"And how!" said Hadley.

"Give the gentleman an Abe's Cabe," Lou Edna said.

"I don't have a five-dollar bill, Lou. I can't even scrape up an ace."

"A buck won't do for a tip," said Lou Edna. "Not for the chauffeur of a chariot like this."

"There are no pockets in these gowns," Maury said. "My purse is so small, only a tissue will fit in it."

"Well, we'll settle up later," said Hadley. "I'm glad he's going to drive us over. I'd hate to think we had to ankle our way over there to the grill in the dark."

"Only a blue-eyed Betty would try to walk to that grill in these heels," said Lou Edna.

"My dogs would be barking up a storm. And my corn would be howling," said Hadley.

"This flivver is copacetic, Mister," Maury said.

The towering gentleman just smiled.

"Ladies," the dark, swarthy man behind the wheel said.

He was wearing a fedora pulled low over his eyes. He was young, in his late twenties or early thirties. His black hair was shiny and slicked back. He wore a pin-striped suit that hugged his body like a snake's skin. Lou Edna felt her knees turn to jelly.

He opened the door for them.

"I got no beef with you, Big Six," whispered Lou Edna. "Ain't it nice to be treated like a real tomato for a change?"

"I swear Lou Edna," Hadley said, "I think we caught a virus from that iPad."

"Look at that full moon, girls," Maury said. "It's almost as bright as day out here. I can't believe it. We leave shadows on the ground!"

"Come on," said Hadley. "Let's show this sailor we're hip to the jive. Time to mooch. We're keeping Prince Charming waiting."

"Ain't this some kinda pumpkin coach for three Cinderellas?" asked Lou Edna.

"What's your name?" Maury asked.

"Ice Pick," he said.

A chill went down Hadley's spine, but she ignored it.

"I'm getting as bad as Maury," she muttered.

"Oh, how cute!" said Lou Edna. "We need nicknames, too. You know. Something racy and dangerous like that era."

"How about Bimbo, Babe, and Gams," said Hadley.