Nobody's Fool Y'all

35

"I brought you some choices for the party, ladies," he said.

It was Handy Andy with a rack of clothes.

"Costumes," cried Lou Edna.

"Take your pick," he said. "All sizes for all tastes."

"These are beautiful!" Maury exclaimed.

The rolling rack was filled with gorgeous gowns, sequins and beads and fringed hems. There were low-waist dresses and high-waist offerings. Andy was right. There were a lot of selections.

"The handwork on these things is exquisite," said Lou Edna. "And they look like they've never been worn."

"They haven't," said Andy. "Here, ladies. Feast your eyes. Lotta' cabbage here. We spare no expense. New shipments. Delivered today. Hot off the sewing lines. And to top it all off, dear ladies, feast your eyes on these."

Handy Andy opened a small jewelry case. Inside were baubles and rings and pins of every color and shape.

"And let's not forget to dress your tresses," he said.

"Look at these feathers," said Lou Edna. "And all those beads! If I had a wardrobe like this, I would seriously think of giving up pink!"

"With these costumes," said Maury, "we're gonna look like we stepped out of the Jazz Age."

"Jazz Age? I wouldn't know about that," said Andy. "But you three ladies are going to look like bearcats. And how! With these outfits, you'll be the berries all dolled up to be the belles of the ball."

"Hotsy-totsy!" Lou Edna exclaimed. "I'll feel like the snake's hips!"

"You said it," Maury chimed in.

The three stood under the little porch light and made their selections.

"I'm going to be the lady in red," said Lou Edna. "Tonight, I plan to knock 'em dead. Do I look like a Sheba, Hadley?"

"You'll be a choice bit of calico, Lou."

Maury chose light brown and champagne ensemble. Hadley opted for black.

"Why did you pick that?" Maury asked. "You're going to look like a chunk of lead. A buzzard by the road. Just look at all of these colors of material, Sis."

"Mind your potatoes, little sister. Elegance is a matter of opinions," said Hadley. "I'm not dressing to find a drugstore cowboy. But I'm not going to be a Mrs. Grundy killjoy either. Look at the cut of this dress. It's amazing. I fell in love with it the moment I laid eyes on it. This is a one-of-a-kind designer original. With my gray hair, this thing will peel their socks off. Just wait and see."

"We need some baubles," Lou Edna said. "And aren't these just the cutest shoes."

"Look like ones Granny might like to cut a rug in," said Maury.

"This costume jewelry is fantastic," said Hadley.

"Rhinestones and plastic beads," said Lou Edna. "Perfect for a gal who lives in a trailer in the middle of Jimbo Jack's Trailer Park."

"Trailer or not," said Hadley, "I think we're all going to look like a million bucks, tonight."

"Whoo-wee!" said Lou Edna. "I'm ready to percolate tonight."

Selections made, the group thanked Handy Andy, who tipped his hat and disappeared into the darkness.

"I feel just like a kid at Christmas," said Maury.

"Let's get inside and clean up. I want to give these new duds a spin," said Lou Edna.

"Now, what were you going to show me?" Hadley asked.

"Never mind, girlfriend. It can wait," said Lou Edna. "I got dibs on that shower thing-a-ma-bob. You know it will take me the longest to put on my face."

"C & C," Hadley said, winking at Maury.