not throwing the love away again

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*Charles*

Not having heard a word from her for two years seemed like an eternity by now. Meanwhile I had two daughters from whom I heard nothing. I was not even part of their lives anymore. But Evi was and that was good.

At first I had thought about bringing Aly back to me, but I knew she had it better with Evi. A steady, reliable parental figure.

Evi had made the decision after Austin. She had left me, gone to Switzerland, and I had accepted her wish and withdrawn.

For two years I had been struggling to somehow stay afloat. I had girlfriend after girlfriend, just to try to fill the gap she had left. I did everything not to think about what we could have had.

I was not happy. Not since she left.

I had dedicated the title to her. Whether she knew about it or not. It was her title. I had done it for no one else. And even though I wasn't with her now, every one of my victories still belonged to her.

I belonged to her.

No matter what woman was by my side at the time, no one could touch her.

But I suffered in silence.

Seb had never spoken a word to me after Austin and Lance was avoiding me too. That wasn't too bad, because Seb had retired and Lance had never been particularly close to me anyway.

But Max hadn't been very good to me either. I had been all the more relieved when he had calmed down at some point and started talking to me again. Whether he still saw Evi, I did not know.

I heard nothing from her, nor from the children.

I felt I didn't have the right to call her and ask her. I had the feeling that I no longer had a place in her life.

Evi probably managed all this much better on her own anyway. She was a strong woman. Smart. She probably took my daughters much further than I ever could have. My daughters clearly had it better with her.

Far away from the public, in Austria. They grew up in a good environment. In the circle of their family.

Mom had been terribly angry with me. She had told me to go to Switzerland to talk to Evi, but she didn't understand Evi the way I did. She had withdrawn because she was not happy with me. I had had no choice but to stay away from her and finally give her the freedom she needed. The one she deserved.

Even if I missed them.

Every day. Every second.
I sat with Max and Pierre in the hotel lobby after the race. We were waiting for our cab to the club. Even though I didn't feel like partying.

I did it again and again to forget. To repress. I would do anything not to think about Evi and tonight I already had a replacement for her.

Estelle.

She was already waiting at the club with Kelly.

"Charles?", I raised my head as Lance joined us.

He had completely ignored me for the past two years. That he was now addressing me directly irritated me. I looked at him questioningly.

He took a deep breath "I know she would never do it herself, but I'm here because of Evi.".

My heart immediately started beating faster.

"What about Evi?", my voice was a mixture of excitement and concern.

"Well, it's less about Evi and more about Aly. Do you remember the febrile seizure, back in Budapest?"

I nodded immediately. I hadn't been there, but had seen how Aly and Evi had fared afterwards.

"Well, in the last six months, Aly's had a lot of them. Evi's with her all the time at doctors and hospitals. I guess she had another bad febrile seizure and they're in the hospital. And honestly, I'm about to leave to go see her, but I think that she... She needs you. Much more than she needs me. And your daughters need you, too. So I'd offer to take you with me."

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