One last Chance

where we belong

*Charles*

My heart was racing when I saw the pictures on the ultrasound.

Our little pea. I reached for Evi's hand and squeezed it as tears of joy ran down my face. I had never been happier in my life. Only now I realized what I had missed with Aly. The start of life. The first images on the ultrasound. The first heart sounds. The first cries after birth. All the things that would never be forgotten.

But I had been given a second chance, with my little pea. A second chance with Evi, who now, in pregnancy, seemed to shine even more. God this woman. She was more than just beautiful.

And even if you couldn't see the belly yet, it would grow and she would carry my child in it.

Mine.

Ours.

I stroked my thumb through her palm before pulling her hand to me and kissing it gently. The doctor was very pleased with the baby's development. A healthy baby.

I really couldn't ask for anything more.

Aly sat on my lap and looked at the screen quite fascinated "See? There's your little sister or brother in there.", I said, stroking her long dark hair.

"The pea." she said and I nodded.

That name would probably stick until we knew the gender and came up with a name.

"How much longer do I have to wait?" she asked, now looking at Evi.

"It's going to be quite a while," Evi smiled.

"How many more sleeps?" she continued to ask.

"Oh you can't count that far yet, Aly.", I smirked and pressed a kiss to the top of her head "But I'll think of something so it won't be quite so long for you. I promise.".

We got the picture printed out, then we could head back home.

It tore me up to have to leave right away. But Singapore was on the schedule, and after winning the races at Zandvoort and Monza, and with my eyes back on the championship, I couldn't afford any delays or absences.

Even if that meant I had to leave immediately after just seeing my baby for the first time. The bad thing was that it would always be like this.

Even if the baby was there, I would miss a lot. Would I even be there for the birth? The calculated due date was on a free weekend, but who knew if the baby would actually come then?

What if it came earlier? Or later?

What would I do if I wasn't there, or couldn't make it in time when she called me?

What if I was not there?

What if I missed the first steps. The first words.

These thoughts ran through my head as I drove back to our house.

There were so many things I hadn't thought about. Of course they would be able to travel with me, but definitely not all the time. With two kids it wasn't such an easy thing and when Aly got older she would have to go to school. Evi would certainly stay with her and take care of her, so then they could only come along on vacation.

How did the other fathers do it? How could they bear not to see their children for weeks?

I was already feeling strange at the thought, because Aly and Evi wouldn't be coming to Singapore, and they wouldn't be coming to Suzuka either. I wouldn't see them again until after that, before traveling on to Austin. But in the meantime, I was going to Maranello to the factory again.