'i hate you' pt3 (Tom Kaulitz)

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*Toms pov*

I was staring at a picture of her on my phone, I couldnt help but tear up. I missed her so much, I feel so shitty for what i did to her. I soon snappes out of my thoughts when i felt soft hands on my back, I turn my phone off immediately and turn over to be met with my girlfriend. I gave her a weak smile as she moved her hands onto my chest now. I felt myself slowly begin to cry as i stared at my girlfriend, She looks just like her but she'll never be her. And it kills me that i cant find anybody like her, But i needed to move on and get over her..It has already been 2 years since Y/N left, Without saying goodbye to anybody, she just dissapeared. She blocked me and the guys on all social media and whenever we asked one of her other friends they wouldnt tell us anything about her, I was miserable without her.

"You okay babe?" My girlfriend, Amy, Asks which snaps me back to reality once more. I quickly wipe my tears away and nod with a weak smile, She gives me a concerned look but slowly nods,

"Okay then..Goodnight, I love you Tom" She whispers as she buries her head into my chest, I wrap my arms around her and hold her tighter. I know this is bad but i cant help but imagine shes Y/N, God I miss her so much..

I felt somebody shake my shoulders gently,

"5 more minutes.." I mumble in a low, tired voice. I heard a quiet sigh as the person who was shaking me got off the bed, I immediately gripped onto their hand. For some reason I thought it was Y/N, That she was with me again,

"Noo..Y/N please dont leave me" I groan again as my eyes slowly flutter open, I feel the hand pull away from mine harshly.

"Who the fuck is Y/N?!"

My eyes shot open and my jaw dropped slightly. Fuck.

"No, no, no! Amy i swear its not what you think!" I say immediately as i hurriedly got out of bed and grabbed her hand,

"No tom, Who the fuck is she? Huh?!" Amy yelled at me through gritted teeth and tears, I pursed my lips nervously, not wanting to tell Amy i was still thinking about my ex.

"Wait.." She huffs out and i look at her with guilt but confusion,

"Is Y/N that chick on your phone?!" She stuttered out with a broken voice. Shit, She knows about the picture of Y/N...

"What do you mean..?" I ask nervously even though I knew damn well what she was talking about.

"That picture of that H/C haired girl that your always staring at god dammnit!" She cried out loudly, she immediately covered her face and cried into her hands. I felt so shitty but i cant try to lie to myself or her anymore, I think we both know i dont love her..I wont love anybody the same way that i loved Y/N.

*TIME SKIP*

After that day me and Amy broke up, I told her the truth about everything and even though she was hurt she accepted my apology. Since then i havent stopped thinking about Y/N at all, Shes always on my mind. I didnt know what to do so i went to bill, As soon as he asked if i was okay i burst into tears and fell into his arms.

"Bill i dont know what to do" I whispered between sniffles,

"About what?" He asked as he rubbed my back, I sighed softly.

"I still love her Bill..I cant get over her, I feel so shitty for what i did and i feel even worse that she left without even saying goodbye to any of us..But its been 2 years, why cant i get over her!" I rambled in one breath as i gripped onto his shirt, Bill made a low 'Aw' sound.

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