The Good Enough Friend (YA)

Chapter Twenty Nine - October 25, 2019 [✔]

Today, I walked into the heated high school alone. I sprinted up the stairs. I fanned myself with my sweater. When was the last time I worked out? Four days ago? Five days ago? Was taking stairs always this hard?

Wyatt texted nonstop during my absence but I couldn't bring myself to read his messages or anyone else's. My phone was on Do Not Disturb until this morning. Without a doubt, he was worried. I owed him an explanation.

I pushed the door open and peeked around the corner. Wyatt was talking to Nolan, and Karolina by the water fountain. His back was to me and I snuck up on him. "Boo!"

"Did you hear something?" Wyatt's voice was laced with sarcasm. Nolan and Karolina wouldn't meet my eyes.

Is he ignoring you?

"Must've been a fly." Wyatt shook his head, "Have you watched the trailer for Parasite?"

A fly?

My mouth went dry.

"I love social commentaries," Nolan chimed in. Karolina elbowed him in the side.

"It's one of those movies that you'll think about for days afterwards," Wyatt continued.

"Wyatt, why are you doing this?" I whispered.

"Wish I had a fly swatter," he laughed.

I swept a shaky hand across my forehead to get rid of sweat. I messed up my locker combination twice before opening it.

Was it always like this? Was I always this sad dog following Wyatt's orders? Taking care of him when he was hurt? Being elated when he gave me attention? What was wrong with me? Did I need him that much, that I was willing to endure being ostracized?

Fear morphed into anger. Hands that lay flat at my sides curled into fists. I would move mountains for him. How dare he? I promised my family that I would worry about myself from now on. It started here.

A small, red envelope fell out of my locker. I caught it in midair. On the backside was a large P. This was it. This was the news I needed. He needed it too. Too bad, flies couldn't speak. I tucked it into my pocket, slid my materials into my backpack and slammed the locker door shut.

I opened his text messages, thinking I'd find something useful but it was memes. He was ignoring me because I didn't answer his text messages. That was the sole possibility.

Wyatt was using the same tactics that my middle school bullies used. They excluded me from conversations, because flies couldn't speak. I told him about that in confidence, not for it to be exploited. If he thought I'd come running back when his tantrum was over, he had another thing coming. It was one thing to be angry with me, but another to rope others into icing me out.

It was a long time coming. The end of us. A chasm in our friendship grew and grew. This was the shift that broke us apart.

I shoved my phone in my side pocket. "When you come back down to Earth, I won't be waiting for you," with that last comment, he turned around.

He called after me, "You can't! Come on, Zayde!"

I walked away, leaving half of my heart behind.

My footsteps echoed in the empty hallway.

It was too late. Nothing could change my mind.

I stepped into my AP Physics classroom holding back tears. Ms. Ranedi had decorated her desk with a few small pumpkins. I complimented her leafy earrings.

I told her I would be caught up before the end of next week. She wanted me to focus on getting better and advised that I join Kenna and Will's study sessions if I needed support. Her kindness was refreshing.

I dropped my backpack at my seat, and speed-walked to the bathroom. I took several tissues and wiped my eyes. Redness around my pupils, puffy eyelids, I looked as sick as I claimed to be.

Everything I went through to get this envelope wasn't worth it. I ripped it open. A piece of parchment paper was folded into threes. It read Boy Bye (bi) in large calligraphy. Milo was bisexual. Which meant Wyatt had a shot, but I did too. I ripped it into strips and tied them in a knot, before putting it in the recycling bin.

Rinsing my face with water, I left the bathroom with a newfound confidence. Guilt made a home in my body for too long. It needed a new place to stay. The next time I saw Milo. I would ask him out.

Maybe not the next time.

I had to build up to it.

We didn't know each other.

One hand was enough to count how many conversations we've had.

I couldn't lay it on him like that. I needed a relationship expert.

Kenna!

I returned to the classroom.

I was unsure if Kenna was a bad person or if Penelope's schemes and Wyatt's gossip warped my perception. Those laced cookies from her party were fresh in my mind. The rest of my unread messages revealed several apologies from those who attended the gathering. They assumed I knew everything was a "party favor".

My observations weren't tainted. I would have to rely on them. Kenna was kind to me in class. She acknowledged my existence in the hallway. She invited me to a party. She introduced me to her friends.

All my arrows pointed to good.

"You feelin' better?" Kenna pulled my chair out for me. Ms. Ranedi, being her family friend, must've told her I wasn't at my best. "Ion know if you got my texts, but I'm sorry about the cookies. Big miscommunication."

"Yeah, I'll be alright." It wasn't like a friendship breakup was the end of the world. I would be alright. Right?