Closeted | Boy x Boy

~Neunzehn~

I sent one text that night, and it was a text to Jay. I asked him to come over around ten, because I really needed to talk to him right now. He said he'd be over at ten o'clock sharp, and that he wanted to know if I was okay, and I told him I was fine. I'd just realized something. He responded with three question marks, but I marked it as read and turned my phone off. Then I went down to the kitchen where my mom was finishing putting her cupcakes in the fridge for her client tomorrow.

"Hey sweetie, what are you doing up?" she asked, brushing frosting off of her fingers.

"I couldn't sleep. Hey, is it okay if a friend comes over?"

"This late?" she questioned, wiping her hands on a towel.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's important.

"Sure, just don't be too loud. I need my sleep for tomorrow." Mom took off the hairnet she had been wearing and plopped it down on the counter. Then she leaned against the sink and looked at me sternly. "I can tell something is wrong. Do you want to talk about it? Is it the same stuff we talked about a few days ago?"

I shook my head. "No..." I took a deep breath. "Mom-" I choked on my words. "Mom I think I'm gay. Not pansexual, or even bisexual, I think I'm just gay. I like boys. I always have. Just boys, never any girls. What... What does this mean? Are you mad at me?"

Mom's jaw dropped slightly. "You're... you're gay?" Mom walked over and grabbed my shoulders. "Are you absolutely positive?"

I nodded meekly.

Mom wrapped me up in a tight hug. "Doesn't matter. I still love you. Do you hear me Abe? I fucking love you so much. Do you know why we moved away?"

"Because they treated us bad. Because of me, they made fun of you and they made fun of me."

Mom shook her head. "No, sweetie, that was never the issue. The problem was that they treated you differently. I knew about you and Oliver, and I didn't want you growing up in a society where they groomed you to be straight. I don't care if you're bi, gay, lesbian, transgender! You're my fucking kid and I pushed you out of my fucking body, I didn't go through six hours of childbirth just to kick you out!" she teased, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Good lord, sometimes you scare me, kiddo. I love you, so much. So much. Nothing can change that, ever. Unless you like, start fucking animals. That might be a step too far."

"Ew, no."

"Good. I always thought you were gay, I was just worried you were scared to tell me, and I see how you freak out whenever someone brings it up. I blamed myself, I figured I hadn't you gotten out of that town fast enough for you to realize its okay. I meant to talk to you about it, but then you met Marley, and I thought she'd show you the light, show you that it's okay to be yourself. Then you got all obsessed with being popular, and now you have Jay. I've seen his social media, he's a pretty big guy, huh?"

I nodded. "Huge."

She smiled. "I know it was a big deal for you when your father left, but truth be told he was a douche bag anyways. He's a pussy, too, leaving after one small mistake. I was always tiptoeing around him." She grimaced. "Guess who you got your anger issues from, kiddo. I was always scared of saying the wrong thing or pissing him off, but once you were born I had a reason to be myself again, to be a good role model for you. He didn't leave because of you, sweetie, he left because of me. It was never your fault, and I know you blamed yourself, but he didn't leave because of you maybe being gay he left because the town shunned him, too. Just like they did us, and he was too big of a wimp to stand there like a man and deal with it. So he ran off to start a new life."

I sniffled, not even realizing I had been crying. "But I started that. I upset the town, I made everyone mad."

"Who cares about them?!" she exclaimed. "Good lord, kid, they don't fucking matter! They're in the past, and they haven't bothered us for a good decade now, huh? I know you think being gay caused everything that made us moev, and I'm so sorry I didn't do a better job of explaining it then. Nothing was your fault, and it never will be. You got that?" She asked, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug.

I smiled, hugging her back. She was warm, and smelled like flour and baked goods. I hugged her tighter. "Thanks, Mom."

"No problem, sweetie. Now I'm gonna go up to bed so that you and your friend can have a little chat. I'll wear earplugs, just in case," she added with a wink.

I blushed. "Mom!"

"Alright, alright, I'm going!"