Closeted | Boy x Boy

~Vierzehn~

I shut the locker with a clang, and looked beside me. Jacob was packing up his stuff quickly, and left after a few moments of silence. I stared at my empty locker, looking blankly at the chipped blue paint on the metal. PE was over, which meant we were supposed to be changing, but I was still wearing an old jersey I had from when I used to play soccer and baggy athletic shorts. I shut the door and slumped against it, staring at the bench. It was draining, trying to avoid your problems. It'd been almost five days since Charlie approached me, and Jay hadn't stopped texting me, hadn't stopped talking to me. He'd walked in on me cuddled up to Marley's lap a few days ago, and I can't even begin to describe the hurt and the longing in his gaze before he turned and left.

I sat out in PE, sitting with Marley in the corner of the gym while the rest of them played kickball for one of the last PE classes we would have this trimester. I didn't have the energy to do everything. I'd spent the past few nights awake, wondering about how much of my highschool life had been a total lie.

I looked around the empty room. The last bell was about to ring, and then I could head home and cry myself to sleep at five in the afternoon again, wake up at 2, and stay awake until school the next day.

The door behind me opened. That wasn't too uncommon, a lot of atheletes came in after school to get their forgotten sports bags or a bar of deodarant they'd left behind. But as I turned to leave so that I wasn't alone with the guy, I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and shove me against the brick wall. My head hit the bricks, and it was blurry for a few moments, and then I felt someone grab my thighs and lift me up, pressing my back harder against the wall. I gasped in surprise as my legs were ripped forward and bent around my attacker's waist. When my vision cleared, I freaked out even more.

Jay stared at me, his eyes narrowed. His face was only a few inches away from mine, and his whole body was rigid with anger.

"Jesus Christ I thought I was being kidnapped or something I- ahh~" Jay pressed against me, his torso digging in between my legs. I covered my mouth with my hand, my eyes widening in shock. "Jesus!" I repeated. "Can you calm down?"

Jay wrapped his fingers around my waist, holding my still. "Five days," he hissed. "It's been five fucking days, Abe."

I frowned and squirmed in annoyance, trying to break his iron grip. "Okay? Can you let me go-"

Jay slammed me against the wall, digging his nails into my skin. I gasped at the weird feeling, arching my back slightly to try and move away from his sharp fingernails, but it didn't work. Jay was determined. "You wouldn't answer me. Do you know how late I stayed up, waiting for a text from you? Anything, even just a 'K'. I needed you to see them, I needed you to say something to me. But you ignored me. You walked past me, you wouldn't even look at me. You wouldn't even respond to the text messages about our project. Granted it was an excuse, but still." He pressed harder against me, and I bit my lip against the erotic feeling of him pressing down against my crotch. Jay's eyes crackled. "Do you even care that I care?" 

I didn't want to push him away, but then I remembered what Charlie had said. Then I remembered what my mom had said. She said Jay liked me, and Marley liked me. I wanted to be liked by Jay, I didn't want him mad at me. But Charlie. I wriggled, trying to get away. "I don't know-"

Jay pressed even harder against me. "Fucking look at me. You're not getting away, do you hear me? I'm not letting you go until you give me a fucking explanation. You can't just pretend we're friends and then completely shun me. Was it all a lie? Did you just use me? Why can't you look at me?"

Since I couldn't get away, I wrapped my arms around his chest and hid my face in his shoulder. I couldn't look at him, so I stared at his chest instead. Jay held me for a few moments, cradling my head with his hand. This his fingers knotted through my curls and he pulled me back by my hair, and I cried out in pain.

"I want to know why. Were you just leading me on? Was everything a lie? Did you even actually like me?" 

The worst part was that everything Jay was accusing me of were all things that I had asked myself. I had felt so distraught, so helpless, thinking about how everything might have been a lie and that no one actually ever liked me. I wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone else, but it was my fault Jay felt that way. 

"Jay, I'm sorry, I just- I couldn't- I didn't want-" I covered my face with my hands. "I just don't know, okay?! I'm sorry!" I tightened my legs around his waist, scared of being dropped if he got mad at me.

Jay's gaze softened. He looked me up and down. "Why can't you tell me? Is there someone else, did you find a partner? Or-"

"No!" I exclaimed. "No, no, i-it's not like that." I hung my head. "I can't tell you."

Jay narrowed his eyes. "So someone's making you do this?"

I looked up at him helplessly.

His gaze hardened. There were daggers in his eyes. "Tell me."

"N-No, I said, I ca- hah~"

Jay bit down on my shoulder, using his fingers to tug my sweater down over my arm, revealing my whole right shoulder. He dug his teeth into my skin, his tongue wet against the stinging mark. His mouth closed around the section.

"H-Hah~, ow! Jay, stop, that hurts!" I cried, writhing against him. 

Jay bit down harder, locking his jaw around my skin. When he pulled away, the rush of cold air where his warm mouth had been making the mark sting. When I brought my finger up to touch the wet spot, I could feel each individual groove of his mouth. Jay moved my hand and kissed the mark, and I shivered beneath him. Jay moved to another spot and his mouth hovered above it.

"Tell me. Tell me who it is."

"No, I said I can't!" I cried.

Jay sunk his teeth into my flesh, his eyes closed as he worked his lips around the bite mark. "Ungh~ Ngh~" I groaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Jay, sto-ah, ah, ah!" I cried, swatting at the side of his face. He didn't even flinch, his tongue slick against the bruising skin. It felt like I was bleeding, but I couldn't tell. He kept sucking on the mark, his lips suctioning around the stinging section and earning a series of lewd, muffled whimpers of pain. I liked the feeling, more than I should, but it wasn't because it was Jay that was doing it. I liked the feeling, not Jay, I told myself again, but I quickly lost my train of though when he bit down gently on the skin inside the ring of teeth marks.

Jay hissed through his teeth. "Tell me, right now. I'm not going to stop until you tell me the truth. I've wanted to do this for ages, nothing is going to stop me other than the truth, do you hear me?"

"Y-Yes, I do, but- agh, Jay!"

"I swear to God I won't stop. I will cover your neck, I will cover your shoulders, I will cover your thighs. My mouth is going everywhere unless you tell me right now why the fuck you've been avoiding me, and who's making you. At least tell me you don't like me. I need to know why, I don't care if it hurts. It hurts more not knowing."

"Not as much as this," I whined, trying to pry his face away from me.

Jay smirked, that hot little smirk. I felt my knees go weak. "Then tell me the truth," he growled. 

I shook my head, holding my breath. I didn't want to hear myself make any more lewd noises from him. 

Jay grabbed at me. "Look at me, Sunshine. Look at me. I am not fucking kidding. Your entire body, every part of you, will be covered with my bruises, my bite marks, and my hickeys. Everywhere," he ended in a whisper. 

"What if I- ngh- wanted you to do that?" I said. "I-I don't, but I'm just saying."

Jay arched his eyebrow. "Someone's going to come in here eventually. You know that, right? Someone is going to come in here, and then they'll see everything that you try so hard to hide," he said.

"Wh-What if no one comes?"

"I'm going to move upwards. Understand? They won't see the marks on your shoulder, but if I keep moving up..." His fingeritps brushed against my neck. "They'll see it all. And they'll wonder, where did those marks come from?"

I swallowed.