Next door neighbors

Chapter 59

*Cassidy's P.O.V*

I don't have a good time at Jackson's after my accident. It was hard to have fun when you felt like a baby! I should have been able to get my stupid romper down with ease but for some reason I just couldn't do it. I felt so ashamed and Mommy seemed to sense that as she stayed close by for the rest of the playdate.

Mommy had asked me if I wanted to wear a pull up after she had helped me clean up and I had readily agreed to it. I did not want to risk having another accident while at Jacksons or else I would just never have to talk to him again. Mommy said I was being dramatic when I told her that and that everyone had accidents.

I thought Mommy was just saying that to make me feel better so I brushed off her words. She was allowed to sit by me but I wouldn't be talking to her or listening to her false words. I would let her play with my hair though, she was very good at that.

I frown when my phone rings in her purse, tilting my head back to look at her. Mommy gets my phone out, looking at the number before handing it to me. I don't really want it but if she was giving me my phone when I was feeling little then it must be something important. I take my phone, answering it after a moment.

"Is this Miss Cassidy Lance?" a man's voice asks from on the other side of the phone.

"Yes, this is she," I say, cursing myself for being so awkward. A phone call shouldn't feel awkward but right now all I want to do is sink into the ground and disappear forever.

"This is Detective Graves," the man says and my heart sinks. Detective Graves had been the one I had talked to after Dylan had tried to kill me. That was honestly a hard thing to confront still and it had happened twice. The first time he had been charged with Aggravated Assault. He had gotten six years in prison and it was a felony crime. He had also gotten a fine, something like $10,000 which I still wasn't sure he had paid. This time he had shot me. Both times in the stomach. It honestly felt like he was saying something with these very targeted attacks.

"I assume you have something to tell me?" I ask hesitantly, feeling my regression slowly slip away as I sit up straighter. I feel Lillian's hand resting on my shoulder but I don't care about that at the moment.

"We have Dylan in custody now," Detective Graves says. My mouth felt dry and I felt my heart pound in my chest as I try to respond.

"Thank you for telling me," I say, biting my bottom lip hard as I pull my knees up to my chest. My hands feel shaky all of the sudden and I feel the phone fall from my hand as it clatters on the floor. I see my screen has cracked but I can't bring myself to care.

"Cassidy," I hear Lillian say and I glance back at her. I see the concern in her eyes and the look on her face and it is all of a sudden way too much to deal with. I just need to get away. I just need to be able to think.

I pull myself up using the couch she is sitting on and then I bolt, running out of the room. I run down the hall, jerking the door open and running outside. I can feel my bare feet hitting the hot sidewalk but I don't even stop. When I do stop running it is only because there is this stabbing pain in my stomach.

I collapse into the grass, pulling my knees up to my chest as I hide my face into my knees. I feel hot tears run down my face as I sob, not believing the emotions that were hitting me right now. I was angry, sad, and devastated. I didn't know why these emotions had decided to come up but I just want them to go away.

"Cassidy," I hear Lillian's voice above me and I curl up tighter. I feel her arms wrap around me and her hand rubbing my back to soothe me. She doesn't say anything else, she just holds me as I sob even louder.

Dylan was my big brother, he was supposed to protect me. All he had ever done was hurt me. It wasn't fair! Why couldn't I have the life I was supposed to have? Why did he get to ruin everything that I had ever had? It just wasn't fair at all!

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him," I turn as I bury my face into her chest, sobbing as she rocks me back and forth.

"Oh I know you do my darling," Lillian says. "You have every right to hate him, he hurt you so badly my sweet girl," she whispers as I feel her lips press against the top of my head.

"It's not fair Lillian. I should be happy that he is going to jail, he hurt me so badly! But he is my brother and I wish things had been different. I never wanted to be the reason he got sent to jail," I say quietly. I whine when Lillian pulls me back, staring into my eyes with a sternness that I had not seen before.

"It is not your fault he got sent to jail. His actions are what caused him to go to jail. He chose to hurt you. He chose to do what he did to you. How on earth could you think that any of this is your fault?" Lillian demands to know.

"Because it is. If I hadn't been born, none of this would have happened," I whine, not understanding why she didn't see that or didn't understand it.

"You think Dylan wouldn't have hurt someone else? You truly think that he would not have gone after someone else and hurt them? He hurts people because he can and he likes it. Not because those people have done anything wrong but because he enjoys their suffering. I can guarantee you that he would have just found somebody else to hurt if you weren't here," Lillian states, holding me by the shoulders so I can't go back to hiding my face.

"I don't think that is true," I mutter, crossing my arms over my chest as I look her in the eyes.

"You can think that all you want Cassie, I will be here to tell you that you did not deserve what happened to you. You are a ray of sunshine, my little sunflower, my everything. I will tell you that you did not deserve what happened to you every day if I must," Lillian says and I frown, not wanting to be a burden on her.

"You don't have to do that," I say quietly.

"I know I don't, I want to," Lillian says as she pulls me onto her lap, rubbing my back gently. "I will be with you when he goes to trial, I will be with you afterwards. I will be there every day you need me and even the ones you don't. I love you my darling," she says. She seems to understand I can't say it back so she just lets me bury my face into her chest, clinging to her as the sun beats down on us. I feel a tiny bit of my self loathing break away as she holds me.