Six Feet Under

THE LETTER

My dear Bri,

I cannot believe that I am finally writing this letter. I didn't want this day to come so early and I know neither did you. You never wanted this. But I want to just tell you how incredibly sorry I am. I tried. I genuinely tried. But maybe, trying does not always leads to success. There are so many things I want to say to you right now but I have no idea how to say it, I wish I was good with words, but I am not. So, I am going to try my best.

I had such an incredible time with you. If I could live all the moments that I have spent with you again, I would. You were my reason to keep going, to find the silver lining, to wake up and come to school. We were so young when we met and our friendship is the best gift given to me by the universe. I wish I could stay a bit longer but it is really difficult. Can you imagine I cried over spilling a drop of coffee on the floor? My emotions have taken all of me. I wish I could save these heartbeats for you, I wish I could breath a few moments more with you, but it is time.

I spent my last days at your house and for the first time it felt like I was loved and cherished. I felt like I had a family. You kept me alive, Bri and I cannot thank you enough for that. On the hard days you were my strength. You were always there for me. I wish I could have been a better friend and I am so sorry for that. And I don't want you to cry. Whenever you think about me, just know that I am with you. At the graduation, I will be cheering for you from above. I will be the proudest. And when you go off to college, have fun, make a lot of new friends and just know, I will be there with you during all the inside jokes, on all the drunk nights, dancing with you at the club and will be living a life we dreamt of with you.

Don't miss me too much. I promise I am happier now. I am at peace. It is really beautiful out there. I am finally able to breath for the first time. I am finally able to laugh. I know we always talked about growing old together but I know you will grow old with someone really special. Someone who will hold you every night and make everything easier for you. Look at our old photographs when you're old and just remember that you had a friend named Paige. Paige, who loved reading and talking to you about everything. Someday, when you'll grow old, maybe you'll tell your kids about me.

But do it when it will be the right time. Enjoy everyday and let the world be your stage. I know you will be alright. And don't wait for me for too long. I won't come back. I am going into a peaceful sleep. I am somewhere better. Maybe one day, 80 years from now, we'll meet again.

I have loved you from the beginning till the end and in between. And I'll love you if there's anything beyond that.

- Your Paige