Six Feet Under

9.

It hurts.

It hurts so much that I can't breathe.

The scars buried in too deep.

Am I just another person, in the sea of existence.

I want to scream and shout and fight and stomp

Until I am broken to my bone.

I want to cut and harm and bite

Until there's no skin left to defile.

Damage that is done inside will make an appearance outside,

And maybe then they will believe

That I was all along begging to be healed.

My clothes start to stick to my body and I start to smell the sweat my body is excreting. I keep on running even though my legs have started to shake now. My eyes are sweaty too. It is still a bit dark but it will be sunrise soon. I didn't sleep the whole night and now here I am running in the hopes of making this pain go away and everything to get better. My breathing gets heavier and my throat starts to get dry. I hear the sound of my feet stomping on the ground as I run. Just try. I say to myself. Run till that house. Run till that poster. And this way, I kept on running.

My body is aching so much that I might fall to the ground. But I won't stop running. I want to know that I can run for so long. I might be pathetic but I won't give up. If I run for so long maybe I won't feel too pathetic. I let out a groan and run faster. Forcing my legs to move forward. I am exhaling through my mouth and my throat is getting drier with each exhale. I feel my body going cold. That is weird. Cold sweat replaces the warm and I feel something going extremely wrong. Wait! Did I just rhyme? Black spots fill my vision. Shit! I stop in my tracks and wait for the dizziness to go away but I feel worse. It feels like I might throw up.

I bend down as I lose control over my body and I feel my body about to hit the ground but suddenly, someone holds me. Wait? What is happening? Nothing is making sense right now. I feel my eyes getting heavy so I close them.

Someone gently lays my head down on their lap and gently stroke my hair, "It's okay. You are okay. I am here." The voice is so familiar. I am feeling like a skeleton.

I tried to open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out, "Don't. Don't say anything. Just relax. You are fine." The voice is so gentle and calm.

The person lifts my head up gently and put something plastic in mouth. What the hell is it? Oh! It's a water bottle. Water makes its way down my throat. I take small gulps of water and it feels like my throat has been reincarnated. I never imagined water to taste so good and refreshing. The person removes the bottle from my mouth and gently caress my forehead. I feel embarrassed because I know that I am sweaty and my body stinks right now. But this angel doesn't seem to care.

"Are you feeling okay now?" The voice asked and I slowly nodded my head.

"Can you try to open your eyes for me please?" The voice requested and the way this person asked me this question, so gently, had this voice asked me to sacrifice my life I would have.

I slowly opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times. Brown hair makes appearance in my vision and I tried to focus. Oh damn! Brown hair, brown eyes and a gentle angle of a face...it's Cal. I let out a soft breath.

"Cal I-" He cuts me off and say, "Shh, you don't have to speak right now."

"No, I want to, please." His mouth forms a thin line but he nods.