Six Feet Under

11.

I can't even say that woke I up with a bad mood because I didn't sleep the whole night. I kept on writing and writing and writing until I had completed my assignment. And I have to say, that I am quite impressed with myself. I believe my assignment is everything that Mr.Harlow is hoping for. When I left my house, I came to know my grandmother will be going back to her town and it gave me immense relief. Last night's conversation with her took a toll on me because in the science class, Bri kept on looking at me for reassurance asking me if I am okay. I lied and told her that I am having a headache due to lack of sleep. Not a complete lie, I am feeling a bit sleepy.

I headed inside my English class and saw Mr.Harlow already in there waiting for the students to join. Only a few were on their seats and I went up to Mr.Harlow with a small smile on my face. He looked at me and said, "Hello, Miss.Martin. How are you doing?"

"I am doing very well, Mr.Harlow. Thanks for asking. Umm...this is the assignment that you asked for." I tell him while putting my assignment on his table.

"Oh! That's wonderful. Thank you, I will go through it today and let you know what I think about it." His says with a smile.

"Sure, thank you." I replied but felt my voice going a bit weak. It seems a bit hazy for a minute and I felt my eyelids getting a bit heavy. I stifled a yawn as my eyes watered.

"Are you okay, Miss.Martin?" I could hear concern in Mr.Harlow's voice.

"Yes, just a rough night." I say with a weak smile.

"I hope you didn't stay awake the whole night for this assignment." His brows rise up in concern.

"No, no, I didn't." I lied. I am on my way to becoming a very good liar.

"Okay, if you want you can skip this class. I am not going to be teaching a lot today." Bless his heart. Where do you even find teachers like this anyway.

"Oh no, no. I am perfectly fine and I would like to be in the class." I said truthfully. Finally, my first truth since morning.

"Okay, then. You may take your seat." And with that I make myself comfortable on a seat near the window.

I try to keep my mind from wandering off to different places. I try to be present in the moment but it is difficult with my heavy eyes and an arising headache. I can feel it every time I blink and the side of my eyes get watery. I should have just slept. Mr.Harlow start teaching and I try to concentrate on each of his word. I understand what he is saying to some extent but then I lose my track of mind. Soon, he dismisses the class and I let out a breath of relief. I don't know if I will be able to handle my math class.

I can feel my mind going numb and my palms a bit sweaty. I am not sure if I feel okay. I feel my stomach churning and beads of cold sweat form in my forehead. What if I get an anxiety attack in the class? I will look like a loser and I will be a running joke in the class. The weird glances are enough already. I make my way to my math class and I need everyone in the class to just shut up. Their loud chattering is making me feel extremely weird. There is something wrong with my body right now.

I look over to my usual seat and feel disappointed because someone is already sitting there. I felt somewhat comfortable sitting there because it was right next to the window. But the only seat that I can see right now is the front one. God no. I feel like throwing up. I cough silently and feel the bile rising to my throat. Maybe I should just skip this class. As I turn around Mr.Davidson entered the class. He is not a bad guy but not someone I would want to be around either. Maybe because he is a math teacher but I feel I intimidated by him. I wish I had not come to the class. I take the seat and take out my notebook.