My Ex's Ex

THIRTEEN

James stepped into the cafe, trying to hide how hard he was breathing from his run. Dazzle was on duty again. This time, James studied her. Brown hair that was wavy and stopped just below her shoulders. Brown eyes that seemed to hold so much warmth. Beautiful caramel skin. She was really attractive. Maybe James should give things with her a chance and see how it would go.

"Hey," he said with a smile when it finally got to his turn.

"Hi. How are you? Same as last time?"she replied, smiling warmly at him.

"I'm okay, thanks. You remember?"he said, shocked.

"Of course, I do. I'll bring it to your table."she said.

She didn't have to do that, but James understood she wanted to have a conversation with him.

"Okay," he said and made his way to a table near the counter.

About two minutes later, she came to James' table, she had taken off her apron. James couldn't help but notice that she had a great body. She was really attractive.

She placed his order in front of him and pulled out a chair, and sat opposite him.

"I really hope you have some time to spare cos I just told my boss I was taking my break now so we could talk a little bit. If that's fine with you, of course."she said, looking anxious. James found it cute.

"Oh, sure. I really have nowhere to go for a while. I can spare some time. How long is your break?"

"I usually have 2 breaks during my shift. Each one lasts 30 minutes. So yeah, this one is 30 minutes."

"Oh, nice. I definitely have 30 minutes to spare."James said.

They spent the time getting to know each other a bit more. James got to know that she moved here about 5 years ago with her mom, and she still lives with her mom so she can take care of her. He also got to know that she went to college part-time, 3 to 4 times a week, and she was majoring in philosophy. 

She seemed really intelligent and different.  She made James feel like he could talk to her about anything even though he had just met her. She was very nice too.

They promised to talk more and hang out again after James left.

James was feeling a bit nice till he remembered what today was. The burial. And he was going to go.

                           
                         * * * * *
James was shivering as he drove, yet it wasn't cold. He was torn between deciding whether to dress up for it out of respect or to just wear anything black. He ended up settling for the latter option and threw on black pants, a black shirt, and a black leather jacket.

He knew where it was going to take place. He didn't want any of Lily's family or friends to see him and cause a ruckus on a day like this. He would just watch from afar, out of sight. He couldn't just not show up to her funeral. No matter how things ended between them, he never stopped loving her.

He tried to distract himself from thinking of anything that could trigger him.

He and Charlotte had tried to go through the records and files again but found nothing. They kept coming up short, yet James had a gnawing feeling that what they were missing was right there before their eyes.

He pulled into the funeral grounds just in time to see Lily's mother tearfully giving her speech.  It was a small gathering of about 25 people. James was only able to get in because he showed the guard his ID and claimed he was there as part of the investigation, which wasn't true.

He couldn't hear what Lily's mother was saying, but it was the first time James felt pity for her. Despite her faults, she was still a mother who loved her daughter dearly and would have done anything for her.

She broke down before she could even finish her speech, and James' heart broke for her.

Lily's dad gave his speech next. He handled himself better, but James could see how broken the poor man was. He always liked Lily's father and had nothing against the man. The man knew nothing of Lily's mother's unkindness to him. If he did, he would have tried to fix it.

The priest gave the final speech, and they started lowering the coffin into the ground. James wanted to scream and shout and tell everyone they had it wrong and that somehow it was all a joke and she was still alive in there. James wished she would just open the coffin,  get up and smile at everyone, and tell them it was all a joke and that they should lighten up.

But she didn't.  She was gone, forever. Lily's mother lost her complete cool, rolling and crying at her daughter's grave while her father stood, watching solemnly. 
Arielle was also sobbing uncontrollably. Nobody tried to stop anybody. Everyone was allowed to grieve any way they could and wanted to as they said goodbye to their daughter, friend, and family.

There was someone else too. Someone else was there shedding tears for the love they lost forever. Someone was shedding tears of regret, pain, unrequited love, heartbreak, and loss. And he couldn't bear it all anymore. He had to leave before he did something stupid.

.

When James got home, he took off his clothes slowly and painfully as though he was in a trance. At least, he felt like he was. He felt like someone had put a slow-mo effect on his life. He could feel every emotion coursing painfully through his body. James had always known sadness. His life was that cloud with no rainbow. You'd think he'd be used to it by now, but he wasn't. 

Every time the familiar feeling coursed through him, it still hurt a lot. He never grew numb to the pain.

He was overcome with pain, and he needed to release all of it some way and somehow. So he cried. He cried for a very long time. Each tear felt like a drop of his blood and life. Each tear told a story, one of sadness.

He loved Lily Plugger, but love had a way of escaping him, and sadness and pain were his lovers instead.

Thank you so much for reading up till this chapter. I love you all so much.
Added NF's song; HAPPY. Just felt right for the chapter.

Tag of the chapter: c-cerys