The String of Hearts

51) Bury the Pain

Jay's Point of View

*****

"Wha- what are you talking about dad?"

He sighed and leaned himself to the table, holding it for the support. My mind had frozen and so many worst things kept running around it.

"You don't know- what is it like- to having to force yourself to accept something which doesn't even belong to you. I have tried. For 25 years- and nothing. Nothing had changed. Not my feelings or my hatred towards him"he said.

"Anand- Anand is not your child?"I asked with a heavy heart.

He shook his head and tears rolled down his eyes.

"You were almost six Jay. And your sister was nine years old. I had everything going on in my life. I had a beautiful wife whom I loved dearly. She was everything to me. Even though we had an arranged marriage, I never thought no one would be lucky enough to have someone like your mother. She was pretty, smart, graceful and perfect in every way. I was so much in love with her. We both were peak successful in our careers and we were one happy family. I thought i had everything in this world now. I wanted to put up a hospital on my own. I had even bought some land for it"he paused and rubbed his chest for few seconds. I sucked in some breath to prepare myself to hear it.

"I was away for some paperworks for the hospital. Your mom stayed with you and Divya. But then suddenly she informed me that she was going to her native for some family emergency. Her mom was sick I was told. I let her go and she was away with you and your sister. A week later when I returned, your mom continued staying back. I went to bring you all back home. But then- your mom started acting strange. I didn't knew what went wrong. She was quiet, moody and depressed most of the time. When I questioned, she said work was hectic. But I didn't believe her. I gave her space and privacy as I didn't wanted to force anything upon her. But then one day- I saw a unusual visitor"he sat back on the chair.

"I had just come back from the hospital when I saw him walking outside our house. Your mom was with him. She was talking to him. Her eyes were disturbed as if she was scared. She kept looking around. I didn't wanted to confront her that time. I saw the man she was talking to. He was young and handsome. I saw your mom hugging him and then he left. I came back home like nothing happened and I asked her if anyone from outside was here. She replied as no. And that moment i knew, she was lying to me"he paused.

"Mom- mom cheated on you?"I asked unbelievably.

He sighed and rested his head back.

"No. She didn't. But I believed she did. The trust I had in her was long gone. I started obsessing over it. I was sure that she was cheating on me with someone. I checked her phone, followed her around and kept doing it. I got to know the man who was visiting her was a widowed man. His name was Akash. It was killing me from inside when i saw them together every time- but I was scared. I was so scared of loosing your mother. I was in so much love with her. I didn't wanted to say anything which would make her angry and break our marriage. Besides, i didn't wanted to loose my children. So I kept mum. But-- one day I got some reports from your mother's drawer"he squeezed his fingers tight. I drew a breath and waited.

"It stated that your mother was pregnant. She was carrying a baby. And it was definitely not mine"tears rolled down his eyes.

"If mom didn't cheat-"

"SHE DIDNT CHEAT"he repeated again.

"Dad-"

"I knew the father of the baby was him. Akash. That day I lost all my senses. I was angry and hurt. I wanted to do something and end everything. I thought of confronting your mother or even filing for a divorce but that was not the first thing which came into my mind. It was him. That man who destroyed our lives. Akash. It was the worst day of my life. I did something which I later regretted every single second of my life"his voice shivered.