47) The Last Entry

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Vibhas Point of View

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I leaned myself out to the railing and sucked in the cold air. I felt my chest tightening and I couldn't breath. Tears kept running down my eyes. I could no longer stand. Taking deep breaths in and out, I bit my lips hard to keep my composure.

"Vibha- you need to relax"akka said. She was standing right behind me. Her voice is calm as if she was expecting me to react this way.

"Relax? How could i possibly relax knowing that my sister is suffering from a sickness which she ofcourse didn't care enough to let me know all these while?"I turned towards her. There was defeat all over her face. This is not who my sister was. She was a fighter.

"Amma doesn't know anything. I can't make her go through anymore again. Promise me that you will keep this between you and Anand"she said and I shook my head.

"Akka- I need answers. Why didn't you let me know anything? When Anand and I  had problems you were the first one to know. I thought we both shared everything. But all these while you had problems with bava and now- your health"I trailed off as my throat tightened 

"I don't know vibha. May be I wasn't strong enough to tell you everything. You had been going through a lot and- I didn't wanted to add more to it"she said

"I'm your sister akka. If I'm not there with you when you need me the most, I'll not value anything else in this life"I said. She smiled and clutched my hand.

"It's gonna be okay"she said softly.

I hugged her tightly and weeped in her shoulders. I don't want to leave her ever again.

"I'm so scared"I said.

"Don't be. I'm so happy that you have sorted things out with anand. This was how I wanted you both to be. Together and happy"she broke the hug.

"What about you and bava?"I asked. She sighed and looked outside into the night 

"It's a closed chapter vibha. Jay and I- we both went through so much just to come back to nothing. He is hurt. I know. But I wish he will move on soon"she said.

"God akka. You are not making any sense right now. It's bava. He is not gonna move on. You are just pushing him away because you don't think that you are gonna make it. You're just running away. That's what you are doing. What if you survive this? Divorce won't fix everything now akka. He wants you the most now and you know that he is your biggest need. You are not willing to accept it akka. You are not fighting"I said.

"I'm done fighting vibha. But everytime I did, Jay gave me reasons to stop doing it anymore. I just want to get this over with. My treatment is starting and I just want to build myself to face this. Nothing else is on my mind right now"she said

"He can't live without you akka. We all cant"I said in fear. She smiled and touched my cheek.

"I'm fighting back for myself vibha. I got this"she said. I nodded and hugged her again.

My heart feels too heavy to handle. Akka being sick, her rough patch with bava and her unwillingness to be strong is really making me scared. I don't want to loose my sister who means everything to me. How could she keep this all away from me?

I went back to the room where I saw Anand in the same state as mine. He had gone outside to talk to bava and I know he had told Anand everything. I took a deep breath and walked towards him, occupying the seat besides him. His eyes are on the ground and he is sitting like a lifeless man.

"Why the hell is this happening to us?"he asked after few seconds of silence. I closed my eyes and wiped my tears.

"Just now, I thought things are gonna end up good and- akka and bava, they are in the verge of divorce. Akka has cancer which we don't know if she would survive"i broke into tears. Anand held me closer by my shoulders. His eyes are shedding tears too.

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