Fear

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Theo and I had some work to sort through at the house

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Theo and I had some work to sort through at the house. We've been cooped up in the office all day while River looks after the twins, who are nine months. Theo offered to help but she said she'll be fine. I mean she has always been fine alone with them.

"You've been working a lot lately," Theo drawls out, tapping my desk. "Why don't you spend time with your wife and kids, Ace? Rather than burying yourself in less important matters."

"It's fine." I mumble, keeping my eyes fixated on the paperwork in front of me.

"Is it?" He sits down in the seat in front of me and crosses his arms over his chest. "Is it really fine to not bond with your kids? Especially at this age too, man."

I swallow and clench my jaw, feeling a sudden weight sink down on to my chest. "Drop it, Theo." I warn him but he only balls his fists, leaning further in.

Anger flashes across his eyes and in all the years I've known him I've never seen him this pissed.

"Or what?" He sneers. "Because let me tell you something Ace. Leaving your wife with all the responsibilities of looking after your children isn't stepping up as a husband or a father."

The grip on the edges of my desk tightens until my knuckles turn white and I open my mouth to say something back to him but the sound of a tiny cry suddenly interrupts me.

I hear my daughter from her swing.

Blood pounded in my ears. My heart thudded in my chest. My hands shook. My vision disfigured. The second those green eyes meet mine.

It's like she wanted me to hold her but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't look at her. I can't because whenever I do it feels like a punch to the gut. A reminder that I'm a poor excuse of a father.

"She's your daughter." Theo shook his head. "Why won't you touch her? Even I can see that it's killing River to see you acting like a total jackass."

He stands up from his seat and picks her up but she doesn't want him because her cries grow louder. She wants me.

I roll my eyes at him. "My father was a sadistic asshole. Not a role model of what it means to be a good father. I'm like him in so many regards. Who's to say I won't be a shitty father as well?"

Theo laughs. Fucking laughs in my face. "Man, listen to you talking bullshit. You are nothing like your father where it matters. He beat you and your mother. You took a bullet for River. You treat her like a queen and you would treat your daughter like a princess. Now stop the bullshit, Ace."

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