Teacher's Sin

9th Tuesday, continued...

He turns the car on and we start driving to Elijah's house.
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We were at a red light about to get to Elijah's house. I looked out the window the whole time and not a word was spoken between us.
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We pull up to the driveway and the house was dark except one room "let me text him" I say and pull my phone out. I ask him if he was awake and he replies quickly with yes. I tell him to come outside and a minute later he's opening the door. I get off and so does Zane. Elijah walks towards us and we walk toward him.

"Hey" he says when he sees me and smiles. Zane gives me my backpack and stands there. "Thank you" I say and take it. "I'm moving Jane" he says. My heart drops.

"Why?" I ask hurt. "Because I know" he says and gives Elijah a smile. "Know what" I ask "I know it's him" he says and his voice starts breaking. "Zane" I whisper, my voice breaking.

I look at Elijah and for the first time ever, he didn't look like he wanted to kill Zane or hurt him, he looked thankful.

"I love you so, so much, it's why I can't be here anymore, I have to let you go, I can't hang onto you anymore and hope that one day you'll come back to me. I've grown, I've loved, I've lived way more than you two, I have two little girls at home and a crazy ex that I somehow ended up falling in love with." He says, crying.

I hug him, tight. I don't want to let him go but I know I have to.

"Maybe if we had met a little earlier would I be here with you under different circumstances." He says holding me. "Maybe" I say weakly and I start sobbing. Why do goodbyes hurt so much?

"Let me go Jane, please just, let me go" he says weakly. "I don't want to, not yet, just wait a little" I say trying to catch my breath. Every memory I had with him started replaying in my head making it much harder to let him go.

He's leaving, like leaving. After he leaves there will be no more of him left and I don't want to happen.

"Thank you Zane" I say "you saved me many times, you helped me, you loved me when no one else did, you accepted me the way I was" I say struggling to get the words out I had this empty feeling all over me. "I would do it again and again every day until my last breath" he says and runs his fingers through my hair.

I pull away from him and he does too. "I'll be with you on the happiest day of your life" he says and wipes my tears then does the same to himself. "I'm sorry" I say breaking "don't be Jane, love is a beautiful thing and I want you to experience it with the right person even it's not me. I want you to live out your life the way I did with mine, I want you to experience the ups and the downs in life and say you lived, I want you to be loved, I want you to be safe, I want your children to say they have an amazing mother, I want your husband to say he has the best wife in the world, because Jane you are amazing. You do so, so much for people that don't deserve it." He cries. All of his words break me more and more but I know that this is what has to happen. I sound like a little girl crying but I can't help it.

"I want you to live your life with no distractions, I want you to try anything and everything." He says and kisses my forehead. "I will, I promise" I say and hold him. "I'm going to the city that never sleeps Jane" he says with a smile on his face. "Can you tell the girls that I wish I could be with them forever, please, that I love them so much, and to never forget me please." I sob.

"I will remind them every day of you. They won't forget you" he says wiping his tears. "Th-thank you Zane" I say "I love you Jane Emerson" he says and holds me once last time before letting me go and backing away from me. "I love you" I sob and let him go. He walks slowly to his car and turns back to me with a smile on his face.

Elijah pulls me into him and comforts me.

Zane gets in the car and slowly backs away out of the drive way. He flashes his headlights and I can see his smile through the windshield. "It hurts" I sob to Elijah. "I know my love" he says. I turn into him and cry more. He holds me and we slowly walk inside. I look back and he was gone. That's it. There's no more of Zane.

We walk through the door and I sit on the couch. "I'll be back" he says and walks back out. He goes outside and comes back with my backpack in his hand. I was still sobbing. "Let's go upstairs" he says. I stand up and walk upstairs with him behind me.

I walk to his room wiping my tears and he shuts the door. "Can we just sleep" I ask "of course" he says and kisses my head. I back up against the headboard and get under his covers. It starts thundering and I hear small rain droplets on the roof. "Do you want me in here?" He asks "please" I say and look at him. He gets under the covers and pulls me closer to him. He doesn't say anything, he just holds me.

I didn't know saying bye to Zane was going to hurt that much but I'm glad that we did it because I genuinely couldn't have them fighting every day. I love him dearly but I'm in love with Elijah, he's different from Zane in that way and many others.

Even through all of the shit we went through recently I still love him like how I did before it got fucked up maybe even more.