Why Can't You Understand? Drew/drake angst

The Night Where Things Started

TW: Cutting/self harm!! Blood

Drew put the razor up to his arm when he suddenly remembered. The previous time he was caught was because they found scars on his arms. He would've looked really suspicious and unusual with his sleeves down. Drew looked at the razor, then the arm. Unable to decide what to do. Then something else caught his eyes. His thighs.

Drew took off his long baggy pants and threw them on the other side of the bathroom. He grabbed the razor and held it to his thighs, then he smiled.

He watched his hand slice through his thighs. a wide cut slowly appeared where his razor went through. He watched as blood started to pour out of his wound. He felt the sharp, but comforting pain go through his body.

Drew knew that this wasn't a healthy way to cope with his emotions but he felt like he deserved it.

Drew understood that he was a toxic friend, a bully, and a complete asshole. Everybody in the school either loved him or hated him. He has the biggest ego and looks down on every single person. Although that's not how he actually felt, he just seemed that way and acted in that manner. Drew ruined so many lives, including his own.

The thought of all this is unbearable, he felt the urge to throw up from the sorrow for his friends. It's stupid, it's not like Jake died or anything. But Jake did die from Drew's heart.

Drew couldn't think straight. He raised his shaky hand to cut another one, then another and another.

30 minutes into his mental breakdown and his cuts continued to bleed. His scars were aching as his legs started to sting like complete hell. Half of Drew's leg was red, and parts of the bathroom floor.

Drew scolded himself for doing too much as tried to get up, but the pain in his legs became too much.

"Shit." Drew muttered. He tried to hold back his tears but they streamed out of his eyes. The pain was simply unbearable.

Drew sat back down, giving up.

Maybe he should just give up on life, who would care or notice? In his entire life, he only let people down.

He let people in and they only wanted to leave.

Who could blame them though?

If he met himself he would leave too.

He started coughing, more blood came out of his mouth. Drew's head started spinning more than it did before. he leaned back against the bathroom wall and breathed heavily in hopes it would help him.

Obviously, that never helped.

Like a lot of things.

His vision started blurring. And he couldn't breathe.

maybe this was the end. He thought to himself, knowing that it was unlikely.

As he saw the light before he passed out, he hoped that this would be the end.

Drew POV:

I started waking up from the same dream I had for a long time. The one about my mother. I was 5 when we lost her due to the fire, and the dream still haunts me. It's not at all pleasant, everything always seems so real. These moments loop in my head, I just can't forget them. Dad- I mean, Father, changed a lot ever since, he even started smoking, I guess that's why I started in the first place.

Light started to appear in my eyes, I could tell that the sun was already up. I wasn't planning to go to school today either way, it was a Friday and I just can't face Jake again.

To my surprise, my legs were completely bandaged. I took comfort in the softness of my bed underneath me.  Sucking in a deep breath as I slowly gained consciousness. My body trembled as I breathed, and my leg still stings from what happened, but I don't mind. I feel very weak, but I finally manage to open my eyes slightly. I looked through my peripheral vision to see a teenager, my age holding my hand with their head buried next to me,

with blond and pink hair. 

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Oop- I forgot to say, @sleepy_doodle helped me write a tad (only a tad but they want credits) so um, check out their ACC on A03 and on Instagram!!👍👍

Speaking of Instagram, go find me on @juice.no2 on Instagram Xd, its dedicated to tmf