Leaving Behind

39. "I Time-travelled"

VEGAS

"Yes."

My heart sank as I heard his answer. "What did I do to you? How? Tell me in detail." Still... I need to know more.

"Vegas." He called my name. "You need to understand. This is not you. You and the Vegas in my memory are not the same person." He gazes at me with his empath eyes like he is aware of what I might feel when he told me his story.

The way he looked at me and the way he started it, I can tell I must have done something more terrible than just 'punishing' him after I caught him breaking into my room. "Pete. Tell me. What else did I do?" I asked him again.

Pete shutted his eyes closed before opening them back to look at me. Pete told me what happened from him breaking into my office to the time when he was caught by Ken and me.

"You chased away your bodyguards out and you... to me..." Pete looked down. He told me about the safe house, how he ran away from there, and our last encounter during the war between the major and minor family.

"I'm sorry." Apologizing was the only response I can think of after hearing it. I can finally connect all the dots. The reason why Pete had been having panic attacks when he was with me and why he has been seeing Dr. Top for consultation.

I was reminded by the dirt I did to him. What I almost did to him during the auction night. While I was foolishly act childish and provoking him, wanting a reaction out of him, I was actually triggering his traumatic memories.

When he raised his eyes to look at me, I immediately avoided his eyes. I do not know how I looked like that causes him to hold one of my cheek and gently, making me make eye contact with him.

"To whom are you feeling sorry at? To whom are you apologizing at? It may be my memory, but the body is not mine. It is not you. It never happened in this timeline."

How can he say that when he couldn't even look at me while he told me that story. I can tell. Even he is feeling ashamed of what had happened. I humiliated him. I took everything from him. His dignity.

"Still... you remember. That was why you were avoiding me. You scared of me. I don't even know if I still deserve to be here with you. What if I wronged you in this life, too? What if I hurt you? I am scared that I will hurt you." I let my concerns out.

I almost did that even in this timeline. If Pete wasn't having an attack at that time, I didn't know what I probably did to him. What if I hurt him in this timeline, too?

Pete let go of my cheek. He looked at me with his cold and sharp eyes. "I told you because I want to face it. I don't want to be scared of these memories. I want to be able to differentiate between these two lives. If you are thinking that way, what should I do?"

"Should I not trust you? Should I be scared of you? Should I leave?" He sounded disappointed.

I shook my head and reached his hand. "No! Don't leave. Please stay. I promise I won't turn into that Vegas." I pleaded. I made a promise without even realizing it. I was just too scared even to imagine him leaving.

Me begging him to stay was not the right thing to do after all. He just told me what that Vegas did to make him stay. I can feel his body stiffened. I let go of his hand. I don't want to cause him to feel more discomfort.

"You should continue eating." I reminded him as he had stopped eating since minutes ago.

I gave Pete some peaceful time to finish his food. At least, that was what I thought I was giving him until Pete slammed his glass into the table right after he finished drinking the water.