wall between us // wilbur soot x y/n // !!DISCONTINUED!!

breakdown

tw: dissociation, discussion of unhealthy coping mechanism

As Y/n starts recording the guitar, she thinks of an idea. A lot of artists record both vocals and instrumental at the same time and it sound amazing.

I could try...

"One, two, three and four

I think this time I'm dying
I'm not melodramatic
I'm just pragmatic beyond any
Reasoning for thinking I've got fucking rabies or something

I think this time I'm dying
I think this time I'm dying

I think I've lost my mind
Blurring the fact and the fiction
Whilst simultaneously fixing
Myself up with a girl named Panadol
Bite the tablet, elixir
Disintegrate, mouth's a mixer

I think I've lost my mind
I think I've lost my mind

If I could just break one more night
Maybe I could wake up and feel alright
My optimistically set alarm clock time
Serves only to mock me with flashing lights

I think I've made my choice
I'm a deceased playing victim
Slip the fate slip the victory

I think I've made my choice
Sink secluded in hatred
Void the plans friends are making

I think I've found my voice
I'm a leech sucking blood bags
Taste defeat, it's a sandbag

Saline solution
Saline solution to all your
Saline solution to all your
Saline solution to all your
Problems"

She feels tears rolling down her cheeks as she hits the big red button to stop recording.

Well... I think I'm done recording the main vocals and instrumental...

As she listens to the recording, she cringes at the tiniest mistakes. Only she could notice these, so she decides to just leave it. It'll eat at her later, but she can deal with that then. She then starts recording some extra instrumentals and vocals. She knows how to play the trumpet, so that's what she'll start with.

-

After going over each recording, whether it be the main vocals and instrumental or the background vocals, her attention to detail didn't falter. She did get interrupted by a knocking on her office door, though.

I'm not in the mood to talk to people.

Y/n was exhausted and a bit on edge, but went to the door anyways, taking a second to stable herself.

As she unlocks the door, she sees both Tommy and Toby. Tommy's holding a phone in Y/n's face, presumably vlogging and Toby has a fake gun in his hand. "Give money." the boys say and slowly make their way closer to Y/n. She simply slams the door in their faces and goes back to her setup.

That was rude. They hate you now. Why couldn't you just act funny for the vlog? You literally ruin everything. That's why your dad died-

"SHUT THE FUCK UP." Y/n screams. She slides off of her chair and on to the floor, crying more than she has in weeks. She feels herself somewhat drift off from her body. It's almost as if she's looking at herself from a third person perspective.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK! FUCK!!!

She starts to lose her vision and her hearing seems to disappear as well. She hasn't had this bad of an episode in a long time. The dad thing must've tipped her off.

-

She's been laying down on the ground unable to gather the strength to get up for about 10 minutes. After shaking and trying her best to regain her vision, she suddenly regained both that and her hearing. The breakdown drained all of her energy, though. She doesn't quite understand how her brain went to such extents over her own mind.

"Because this is the moment you realise that something inside you is broken and it can never be fixed." right?

Y/n doesn't really know how to act in this situation. She can't call for anyone - her phone's in her bag on the opposite side of the room. She couldn't scream either - she was truly drained. All she could really do was lay on the floor until she regained energy to move.

-

I have no idea how much time has passed.

Y/n's now sat up against a wall. Not the wall connecting her to Wilbur, but the one connecting her office to the front of the building.

quick author's note: her office is the first on the right when entering the building and Wilbur's is the one right after. they're on the first floor, the building has 2 or 3 idrk. (idc how it is irl this is just a silly little book:))

Y/n flinches at a knock on her door.

For fucks sake.

"Uhh... Y/n? You okay?" Tommy says through the door. Y/n tries to speak out an answer, but her words get stuck in her throat, until she literally hits herself in the leg. "Yeah, mate." she says, acting as if nothing's wrong. "You sure?" he asks.

That's sweet.

"Yeah, I'm alright." Y/n reassures the worried blonde on the other side of the door. "Uhh... why'd you not open the door for me?" Tommy asks, sending slight panic through Y/n's mind. "I didn't wanna get robbed by you and Toby." she covers it up with a joke she hopes Tommy understands.

"Oh- alright!" he says and walks off to Wilbur's office. Y/n then, completely clueless, gets up and starts packing her back.

Wait... I'VE BEEN ABLE TO MOVE THIS WHOLE TIME?

She mentally facepalms as she sighs and unlocks the door. As she steps out of the office, she sees Wilbur locking his door right next to her's.

I probably look like a homeless lad.

She closes the door behind her and starts locking it shut. "Oh! Hey, Y/n!" Wilbur says, giving a bright smile in Y/n's direction.

That smile...
Oh, GOD, that smile...

"Hey, Will." Y/n says tiredly. She doesn't pay much attention to the nickname, but Wilbur's brain replays the way she said it a million times over.

I'm doomed...

Y/n yawns and puts her keys in her bag. "Hey, Will. Are you working tomorrow?" Y/n asks, way too calmly. "Uhh... I mean, yeah? Why? Something up?" Wilbur asks. He doesn't know what to expect, so his stomach is in knots. "Oh, then nothing." Y/n says, walking out of the building, Wilbur following close behind.

"Did you need something?" Wilbur asks. "It's not work related, I just wanna go get a drink... or 5, but going alone is kinda sketchy, so I'll just buy some Vodka or something." Y/n explains. "I mean... I'm only having some friends over for a stream... I can drink the night before." Wilbur says with smirk on his face.

"You sure you won't regret drinking? Cause I know I don't wanna remember today in the morning, so I'm gonna... drink-drink." Y/n asks. "I mean, I have a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, so I think I'll be more sober than you and I'll get us both home safe." Wilbur says confidently.

"Oh, you have no idea." Y/n says and gives a death stare to Wilbur.

—————
a little explanation: y/n actually used to deal with her emotions through alcohol and use it as a coping mechanism, so now that she had a bad episode, she feels the need to relapse, but wilbur doesn't know it's for unhealthy reasons. he basically thinks she just wanted to spend time with him.

say it with me: alcohol = g- bad. very, very bad.
also... wilbur in the new sorry boys video... HELLO????