Lay With Me

Maybe

I sighed I made my choice and I'm stuck here unless he hurts me, I'm done hurting myself trying to escape.

It's not like I really can anyways there is no way in hell I can out run him he can for sure swim so even during summer I can't leave that way let's not forget I have zero clue where we even are.

I took a deep breath.

I just laid there soaking up the warmth he was giving off. I fully relaxed my body, finally no longer the shivering, and teeth chattering mess I was before but with the comfort and silence the foggy mind left too I started feeling every emotion I felt this weird connection to Ryder I felt like I owed him everything which I kind of did he saved my life.

If he never knew I left I would have fallen under the ice and breathed my last. I would have been one of those tragic stories on the news.

All of the emotions just started hitting me at once causing my eyes to well up I could hear the top story now, Seventeen year old falls in lake and drowns.

I lifted my arms up mindlessly running my finger tips up and down his sides resting my elbows on the bed.

I imagined my mom hearing the news and breaking down or my dad having to comfort my family after my death even though they probably think I'm dead now I've been gone for like three days they must know I'm gone now.

I felt my eyes spill over the thought currently running through my head being do not let Ryder know you are crying you've been embarrassed enough today.

I didn't move and did my best to keep my breath even and my sobs at bay Ryders weight on my stomach and chest easing me I knew he couldn't see my face by how he was laying.

But the second I started crying a few minutes ago Ryder tensed up I think deep down I knew that he knew I was crying he didn't get up though.

Even though I told him I liked the feeling of his weight I could feel him trying to hold some of his weight off me. I feel like a limp noodle in my damp cold state.

I was still crying like ten minutes later it's just wouldn't stop I felt Ryder start to move and in my weak state I tried to hold him in place so maybe I could try to pull myself together a little, but he didn't respond to my tugging at all he gently pulled himself up on his knees and frowned at me I turned my head to the side trying to hide my tears and red face.

He bent down and rolled my head so I was looking right in his Carmel eyes.

"Are you so scared of me that you are crying just laying with me?"

"No I'm not scared of you... anymore, I just have a lot of emotions and I am not sure how to process it all." my teeth started clicking together again with him leaning off of me.

I watched his face relax a little at me saying I wasn't scared of him anymore he wiped the tears off my face he looked so adorable with wet hair all I wanted to do was lean up and mess it up even more than it already was.

I did that awkward laugh you do when you were clearly just caught crying but you can't find the energy to care who knows.

"Could you lay back down I'm cold."

He laid back down on top of me and I watched him discreetly put his hands on either side of me holding up some of his weight.

It's really hard to tell if he likes me at all and I really don't get why I'm here but I do think he might like me at least a little bit.

He is certainly out of my league I wonder how many models he's dated and why he's wasting his time with me even though I have no connection with this guy other than being stuck with him I couldn't help the little twinge of jealousy I felt as thinking of another woman looking at him or touching him.

Maybe I will just see if I affect him at all.

I lifted my hands off the bed and ran it over his arms he shivered a little I moved my hands up under the back of his shirt to the middle of his back lazily running my nails up and down he fisted his hands slightly on the bed I heard him let out a breath.

I smiled his skin was like fire pressed to my skin it felt so good. He seemed to get warmer as I touched him, I could feel him fully relax more of his Weight resting on me. Then I did something I have been dying to do since I got here.

I moved my arms so they were over his and went straight up to his hair I weaved my fingers through it and played with it, it was even softer than I imagined. I mindlessly started massaging my fingers through it before knotting them in it and tugging at it slightly.

I laughed a little bit my heart speeding up.

He leaned up enough to look me in the eyes with a smirk. It made my insides spark his hair was all messy and falling in every direction it felt like there was tangible electricity between us like if I reached up between us I might get shocked we just looked at each other. Ryders pupils were huge my lips parted slightly.

I saw Ryder's head lean down and get closer and closer to mine. Maybe I'm just imagining it because I'm not sure I have blinked in the past two minutes but I don't care.

Before I knew what was going on I felt Ryder's breath on my lips I stopped breathing my eyes closing a little I leaned my head up my eyes shutting and nudged my nose against his lightly before I felt him reached behind my neck and pull my lips to his.

My first kiss and it was perfect his lips were so soft and he didn't try to open mouth kiss me like I always worried would happen. With my first kiss I wanted to keep it innocent.

When we pulled away both of us looked dazed just a little shook from how powerful that felt that was that moment that I knew Ryder was more than just a guy.

He was who I was built for I could feel it in my bones after that kiss I'm not sure I could ever leave his side it wasn't natural what I felt for him I couldn't date anyone else ever there is just no way they could ever compare to the kiss he just gave me.