41: just smile...

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Y/n's pov:

I walked out to Irene and Eric.
I had on my hoodie and sweatpants, my hair wasn't showing at all.

I walked over and hugged Irene without words, it was one of those hugs where words were unescesarry.
She hugged me back and gently rubbed my back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Robbie going into my room with a trash can.

"Are you alright hun?" Irene asked removing hair from my face and looking directly into my eyes.

"Yeah just needed a hug," I said putting my head back into her chest.

Elizabeth and Eric were talking about God know what.
That day fasted forward and it was too soon the next day when I had to go to school.

As I woke up I gently petted ollie before grabbing my backpack and going downstairs.

"Can I have a coffee mom 0.2?" I asked.
Irene smiled and nodded.

"Just a latte right?" I nodded.
I gasped when i saw Quinn sipping a hot chocolate.

"Lil Harley!" I said running over to her.
When I jumped into her arms my sleeves fell revealing the once-white wrap gauze.

She ignored it and let me sip her hot cocoa.

"Is that the vanilla vodka chocolate" I scrunched my nose in disgust and stood back on the ground.

"Maybe" she chuckled as I got my coffee.
"Bye ma 0.2," I said before walking out the door.

We weren't very far before I noticed people were staring at me.
They were talking to their partners and laughing.

We even passed a group of teenagers who were smoking.

"Hey y/n!" I looked at the group of boys.
The boy who had called my name was moving his hand up and down by his crotch.

Quinn put her arm around my shoulders.

"Come on spread your legs, you're so used to it anyways!" They all laughed and Quinn let go of me before running over to the beginning to fight with them.

Quinn was strong, really strong so the boys ended up running away from  her screaming "she's a psychopath!!" Like little girls.

I smiled as she returned to me.
"Thank you love," I said to Quinn.
We arrived at school and I could feel a knot forming in my stomach.
But I pushed through the day with a smile and laughs and just everything.

Fake it till you make it, that's how I survive now.
When I got out of school I saw Susan and RDJ, I laughed and ran over to rdj hugging him.

"Are you okay y/n/n" I nodded and smiled before hugging Susan instead.

"Hey, I got you avri's autograph!" Susan said, I gasped and grabbed it with a grin painted on my face.

It was fake, it was all fake.
"Hey, Y/n spread your legs for me!" A guy commented.
And just for a moment, I let my facade drop.

"I have to get home and pack the bag for Morocco," I said smiling before leaving.

I got home and everything I managed to get in the bags was a lip balm.
I couldn't hold the ropes to the big show.

I dropped to the floor, sobbing.
Irene sat next down next to me.
"What's up, honey?" I pushed her aside.

"Get away!" I yelled pushing her aside.
She held her ground and I was thankful but my body just wanted me to yell.

"GET OUT OF MY LIFE!" To her, I didn't mean it and she knew that, but I was fragile right now so she left.

I was ugly crying, I wanted to just slice my wrist open like I always did but Robbie had removed. Everything.

My glass mirrors weren't there anymore, my razor blades, my pencil sharpeners even my hobby knife weren't there anymore.

I collected myself or well as good as I could before running out and hugging Irene.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean any of what I said," I mumbled into her chest.
Her sweet laughter vibrated through my face.

"I know honey I know" she said gently patting my back.
She kissed my head before letting me go.

"Can you help me pack?" I asked innocently.

"Yes of course" she smiled widely.
She opened up my wardrobe.

"What about these ones?" She asked grabbing my marvel hoodie and my Milo Greene shirt.

"They're definitely going in there" I chuckled grabbing them and folding them before placing them in the suitcase.

"Mom 0.2 is my 'cheesycake' sweatpants in there?" I asked, soon after I was handed them.
I normally used them when I had nothing to do all day.

After 3 long funny hours, we were finally done.
I had my suitcase all packed up for next week.

"There isn't long anymore," she said sighing.
I shook my head.

"I'll get started on dinner"
Irene said and left my room, I stood there with the suitcase by hand.

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