[p o e t r y]

Second To A Cat

It's the stupid things
Like being allergic to cats
That somehow make me
Feel all the more
Unlovable
And unwantable

Why is there aways
Someone better
To live with
Why is there always someone better
To love

Am I really
So unlovable
That a cute house
And a pet
Are better to live with
Than me

I get the other people
I understand
That this is the time
Where people get married
And leave
And I've accepted that
I knew it would hurt,
And it does,
But somehow
I didn't think
You'd be upset
About having to choose
Between
Me
And a cute house with a cat

It hurts
To be so alone
In this stage
And at this age
While everyone else
Is getting their first houses
Together

I was scared to be alone
And now I'm not scared
But it still hurts

I feel like the kid
Last picked
For recess
Left to choose between
The leftover houses
And other forgotten roommates

I don't want you to choose me
Over marriage,
I really don't,
I just wish
You'd choose me
For a little longer before

I want to live off campus too
But I was excited
Because it meant I got to live with you

I wish I felt
Like you wanted to live off campus
With me
Because tonight
I feel second to
A lover
And a house
And a cat

And for once
I just wish
I'd be the first choice
Just for a little bit

02/06/23