[p o e t r y]

Main Character

My whole life
I've always viewed myself
As the main character

I'm loud
And charismatic
I'm kind
And very loving
I'm a little annoying
And at times a bit brash
But I think of myself
As a leader
Or a mother
Or a strong older sister
Nonetheless
And just like every other
Main character
There's just a little bit
Of a yearning to "save the world
Or burn myself trying"
Within me

Yet,
Despite all this,
Tonight as I drove home,
I found myself thinking,
That perhaps I'm just the sidekick
The best friend
Who brings joy and hope
Who builds up
But who ultimately
Ends up alone

The main character gets the girl
The main character gets the boy
The side character?
She sticks around
But in the end,
She's alone.

I spent the evening
With two friends turned to four friends
The first of whom,
I met freshman year.
Tonight, I had dinner with her and her husband
In their new house.
Last month, I stood by her side
At their wedding.
After dinner,
I brought my childhood best friend
Drinks for her 21st birthday.
Her boyfriend was there.
I grew up with him too.
They sat together,
I sat on the other couch.

It doesn't hurt so bad anymore
That my friends
Are married,
Dating,
Or in love.

It doesn't even hurt so badly
That I lost the man
Who I thought I would marry

What hurts is that
Their stories move on.

Harry married Ginny.
Percy stays with Annabeth.
Katnis married Peta and they become parents.
Even my friends are
Settling down

Yet here I am,
The supporting character,
Alone with no supporter.

Perhaps I will find someone
After all, Ron did marry Hermione
But even if I don't,
I'll be okay.

The loneliness may sting now,
And the realization that
Perhaps I'm not the star,
But instead the supporter,
Is a tough pill to swallow

But once I think about it,
Perhaps the supporting role
Is the one I was truly born for.
The main characters
Move ahead, their plot thickens,
And their love narrows.
In the end, it's them and their lover
Against the world.

But I was made to love.
I have to much love to give
Too much love to encourage with
Too much love to support with
To simply love one person
And devote my attention to them

I don't want to be alone
But I don't want to be distracted
From my role of being a lover of people,
Not just of a person

I was designed to love,
And perhaps,
In this season of life,
That means that I was designed to support
As my main characters
Meet and settle down with 
The loves of their lives

01/17/22