stuck (together)

part 17

Ethan knew his parents would be in the living room, waiting. He didn't enter the living room, he went upstairs. He took a shower and decided that he wanted to paint, he only really got the chance to paint at home.

The longer it took for him to go down, the angrier he knew his parents would be. So, he decided to just not go down at all, he would wait for them to enter his room and yell at him. He just didn't care enough to walk downstairs.

So, he waited, he got bored of his painting and went on his phone, he waited some more, he took three melatonin gummies, and they never came. That scared Ethan.

He wondered if he could go the entire visit without seeing them, he knew he couldn't.

Sunday morning, he was woken up, by a house keeper, telling him to get dressed for church, he told the worker to tell his mom he wasn't going, he felt ill.

The last thing Ethan wanted to do, was be told about how he was a sinner, while his dad kept glancing over to him shamefully, for ignoring them.

He sat in bed waiting for one of his parents to enter, and force him to go, but they didn't.

Once he knew they had definitely left, he went down stairs and ate breakfast.

The rest of the days were the same. The only time he spoke to his parents, besides Thanksgiving, was tuesday evening. He was mindlessly scrolling when his dad entered his room to 'have a chat'.

"Sebastian is coming tomorrow morning," His dad, didn't bring up the fact that they haven't spoken at all, "You are a grown man, you make your own decisions," all Ethan could think about was the fact that he was sixteen, not entirely grown to most people, "but I do not want you spreading your ways to Sebastian. He will speak to us and..." There it is. Ethan basically just zoned out the rest.

His dad probably laid awake every night, counting all the places he went wrong raising him, "...You know, this bullshit is all your mom's fault, she's the one raising you like this..." it was always Mom's fault, not that Ethan believed that. Summer of seventh grade, he realized it couldn't be either of their faults, neither of them raised him. He was always at school, and if he wasn't it was the people around the house that help. It was Richard and every other person who was being paid to do their job.

He just sat and nodded at all the right times, "What, you don't have anything to say for yourself?" His dad always did that.

"I'll stay away from Seb," Ethan, through the years learned that not adding tone or an eye roll was for the best.

"Sebastian," His dad corrected.

"Sorry."

Ethan thought this talk was stupid, for so many reasons. Sebastian was twelve, not a child, he doesn't need Ethan tellling him, to realize how lame their parents are. Eventually, he was going to want nothing to do with them, the same way he didn't.

Ethan was right, by Thanksgiving, which was only two full days since he got back, he covered for him multiple times, and forced him to be civil with their parents, by explaining that it would be better for everyone.

Sebastian was a lot more angry than Ethan was at his age. Ethan was very dismissive, for a long time. He just wanted things to be simple, he wanted his step-siblings to comply, he wanted them to get along. So, Ethan wanted to do that for Sebastian, and he does, he ignores them, and just hides in his room, or hides in the library, like he was now.

It was Thanksgiving, and he was trapped in a tight ugly suit— very not like Ethan. Unfortunately for him, Sebastian actually had a friend to hang out with, and he was pretty sure they snuck out together. So, he was sitting alone surrounded by books he would never read, drinking enough whiskey to make him feel uncomfortable hot.

He was sad and all the books were reminding him of Julian. He wondered if Julian was thinking about him too, or if his friend had someone to talk to.

Ethan thought about getting plastered, but then he didn't feel like dealing with a hangover. So, he just scrolled, but his mind continued to wander to the dark haired boy.

He convinced himself, it was the fact that he was surrounded by one of Julian's interest, so he found himself slipping into the cool night.

He laid in the garden, under a white jasmine tree, but it didn't help, if anything, the stillness made his problem worsen. Not only was he thinking about him, but he actively yearned for his presence.

He had took a pack of cigarettes, that he hid in the library last summer, and took one out to smoke.

Ethan laid there allowing the sensation of the smoke to fill his lungs, but he put it out after a few breaths. He knew it was because it wasn't the cigarette that he was craving.

The noise and light from the main house, slowly started to lessen. Ethan waited for it to completely vanish, and then waited some more. Once he felt like the house was empty, and his parents were asleep, he snuck back in.

He walked into his room, too big for one person, and got ready for bed. It was still early, his family's Thanksgiving never lasted very long. He fell asleep, as he decided he had nothing better to do.

~ ~ ~

Ethan was woken up, to a buzzing on his nightstand. He decided to just let whoever was calling, that late, go to voicemail, but just after the buzzing stopped, it started again. This time Ethan reached over to check who was calling,

julian

Ethan immediately felt awake. He wasn't sure if he should pick up or not, but he was too curious not to.

"Hello?" Ethan spoke into his phone, sitting up on his bed.

"Hey," Julian rasped, "Did you have a nice meal?"

Ethan could instantly detect the alcohol in his voice, he almost felt guilty for picking up.

"Yeah, it was fine," Ethan didn't feel like having a discussion with a drunk Julian.

"Remember Friday night?"

"Mh-hm," Ethan wondered where this conversation was going.

"Well, I wanted to let you know, that if I could choose who I spent holidays with, it would be you, like you would be at the top of that list," Julian slurred.

Ethan didn't want to comprehend anything he heard, but he betrayed himself, as he sat in the darkness repeating every mumbled word. He felt a soft heat reaching his cheeks.

Ethan tried convincing himself he was sober, but there were too many hiccups, and his words were too mushed together.

"Hey, Julian, what time is it for you?" Ethan said changing the subject.

"Hmm, it's like, uh, twelve,"

Ethan pulled the phone away from his ear to see his clock, 2:00.

"Aren't you tired?" Ethan asked

"Yeah, I am. Do you think you could fly out to Illinois for Christmas?" Julian voice felt muffled, almost liked he was speaking into a pillow.

Ethan let out a soft chuckle, "You should go to sleep, and we can talk about this in the morning."

"But I don't wanna go to sleep," Julian whined which amused Ethan.

"I think, if you closed your eyes, you'll realize how tired you are," Julian made a noise of complaint, "Try it."

"Just," he paused, "please don't hang up," his voice rasped.

Ethan laid back down, and stared at the ceiling. It would make him a bad friend if he just left him, "Okay,"

"Thank you."

A/N: I think this is one of the longest chapters :00. Let me know your thoughts, love you all <3