Queenie

15

Beginning mentions of Sex Trafficking, there is another warning at the end of the chapter for future chapters.

Please be aware, I would never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable with these topics.

M I X I E

The cellphone was constantly ringing on the passenger seat, my only resort was to throw it out the window, on the interstate.

Silence filled the car, a tense and thick silence that choked me. My knuckles, a paper white, gripping the steering wheel as I drove under the illuminate of the moon. Although nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, could prepare for the moment I get there.

Time didn't long like I thought it would, even when I would take the slow lane at the actual speed limit, my destination was getting closer and closer.

I rolled down the windows, hearing the calls of birds and the slight swish of water from the lake off the side of the road. The wind blew my hair everywhere, my chest rising and falling more accelerated than normal. Rushing, the wind sounded like it was rushing, in through my ear and causes my nerves to frenzy in a need to panic, but instead of rolling the windows back up, I stuck my head out the window, the wind slapping me in the face, to give me a few last moments of freedom.

xXx

I stashed everything on me in the glove compartment, the car in the middle of woods, trees overgrown covering the hood. Walking away from the car, I shoved the car keys in a tree stump a few yards away.

My hands were shoved in my leather jackets pockets, a small thud of each step from the platform chunky heeled boots. I was taking a scenic route of trees and nature, the darkness not helping me in the slightest as to where I was going, almost regretting not at least putting in some contacts. I didn't have the worst vision, but it wasn't the best, just blurry and things would blur until I couldn't tell what I was looking at.

In the dark in the woods, I breathed out, my hands pushing across my body in their places of my pockets, shielding me from some of the cold burn the wind sizzled me with.

The closer my feet stepped to that stupid base, the more my teeth clattered, my body beginning to shake in a familiar panic. A part of me was feeling guilty about not telling my family, and a small slither was sad that I hadn't told the boys, I almost wanted them to come to my rescue, but then I remembered, this is my problem, and I don't want to develop unintentional feelings for them.

They were sweet in their own ways, sometimes even adorable. Koda was the only one who made it explicitly clear I would be nothing to him, it didn't hurt at first, it honestly made me feel relief, but as I got to know the rest of them, my deprived mind and body would catch onto those cute things they do, and feelings began to stir. It freaked me to say the least, they weren't who I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

It's like when you're friends with a guy, a simple guy who couldn't be less attractive to you, just understanding and funny, but then you stare into his eyes a little too long, he calls you something a little to intimate, and suddenly, you're in your bed late at night, realizing that you like him. It was unknowing. Now, when you're with him, you see the little things, the way his eyes change colors in the sun, or the way he tilts his head down at you when you converse, or the simple smile he displays that makes his eyes twinkle.

It's when you know you're fucked.

I've spent a large part of my life avoiding interaction with men. Sure I'd have hook-ups and orgies, but i'd never let them stare me in the eyes or continue with aftercare, it was too much for something that was to mean nothing. I'd sub-drop the first few times, but then I'd get used to it, fueling off it and turning to letting out the emotions with violence. Whether it be a punching bag or a person.