Queenie

22

M I X I E

"My parents are still hovering, hard. I mean, I don't blame them, but I've gone on the most guarded house arrest. It's weird seeing my brother actually afraid to be near me. It's been so long since, ya know?" I cackled with a snort at her words.

"They're all afraid, can you blame 'em? I may not be guarding your house, but I still call everyday, just to make sure you're alright. They're not stopping anytime soon either." Sage groans on the other end of the phone as I grin, dropping a box of pasta into the cart.

"It's been so long, and yet I still remember it all like yesterday." Sage and I sigh together. It had been a year since the ring, and I hadn't seen her since. Sage took the car to the airport, doing everything I told her to do, and I went with Tess to a safe house in Italy. I had stayed up just for the phone call to know that she was home.

"I know sweetheart. It won't go away, probably for the rest of your life, but you'll make space for it, and eventually, you won't grieve about it anymore. It's learning to live with it is the hard part." The silence on the other side of the line made me gnaw at my lip. Sage was doing amazing coming past everything, but it's a front, and I've had to convince her that getting help isn't bad, that showing emotions isn't the end of the world. I should take my own advice sometime.

"You were there twice. You're okay now. I'll be okay too. I just wish Amaya could've been too..." A painful clench held my heart in an iron fist. There wasn't a day that goes by where I don't think of her. Where I don't think of where I failed her.

"Everything happens for a reason. I wish that it could've gone differently, more than you know Sage. All we can do now is honor her." Her trembling breath bounces to my ear, and I know her tears were probably starting, "Have you told your therapist about it? Have you talked about what you saw?"

"I tried. Every time I try and talk about it, I can see her face. It's like living it all over again." That was another thing I wish I could've prevented. Sage seeing Amaya dead made an impact on her, drastically. Seeing a dead body would haunt anybody, but I felt horrible that Sage had to go through it, she didn't deserve it.

"Trust me, I know." I sigh out. Sleep hadn't been fond of me for the last year. My mind has kept me awake at night, every blink of my eyes, I see Amayas eyes. The lifelessness of them haunts me.

"How's Mason?" At the mention of his name, Mason swings his legs from his position in the cart. I smile at him as he reaches for me to hold him. I simply place a kiss on his forehead and hold his hand as I use my other hand to push the cart, the phone held on my shoulder.

"Happy. He's a good kid, he isn't tainted with the knowledge yet." I brush back his hair, his small murmurs of my name make me smile. It isn't much of my name, but more of saying 'Missy.' He was having a hard time with the 'x.'

"I still can't believe you adopted him. I think Amaya would be thankful though." It was such a reassurance to hear that. I hoped that I made the right choice to go through the adoption process with Mason. He was only 5 months old when she was taken back to the ring. Mason was Conan Philips biological child. When he was 'housing' Amaya, he had gotten her pregnant, and once she had him, a few months after, she left him with the babysitter he hired for Mason. Thing was, no one ever came back for him.

"I'll see when I can fly out sometime. Your birthday is coming up." I tease towards the topic, and Sage giggles. I scrunch my nose at Mason, a grin on my face as he laughs.

"I'm one year closer to being an adult. It's kind of exciting!" Sage was 15 when we got out of there, her birthday was the following 2 weeks after. This Friday, she gets to turn 17.