The Bond That Binds Us

5: Ruin My Life, Why Don't You?

I'm hugging my knees and rocking back and forth like a child, looking up at the beautiful, werewolf man, who's back in his human form for the moment.

"Okay, so I believe you." I say tremulously. And in spite of myself and the gravity of the situation, I start giggling. "How could I not? You turned right before my eyes! Surprisingly, you didn't rip me apart. Thanks for that!"

The man looks at me anxiously. "Are you okay?" He asks carefully.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I respond, still laughing. "I've just got a few questions."

"Okay. So ask them."

"How'd you know my name? Were you following me? If so, why me? And you were at the coffee shop too? Or was that a coincidence? Why didn't your wolf viciously tear me limb from limb? Isn't that what's supposed to happen? What's the name of your pack? Are there more?" I ask all in one breath.

He looks overwhelmed. "The answer that I think will satisfy most of your questions is complicated. As for the ones I can answer, I will tell you that my pack and I make up The Imperial Hunters. There are many more packs, some kind and others deadly. Packs loosely work the way individual countries do. They can make allies or enemies, wage war on each other if it gets that far. They protect their own kind with their life. And they have one ultimate leader- an Alpha, in this case me, with a right hand man- that's the Beta- that they can trust with their life. Now, the Alpha can be referred to and looked upon as the king of the pack. And, like any good king, he needs a queen. In werewolf terms, that's a mate." He stops here and looks at me pointedly. "When a wolf finds his mate, since he can never let her out of his sight, must follow her. That day in the coffee shop is when I found my mate. And so after that day, I followed her everywhere. Just to make sure nothing bad happened. The bond with my mate was established, and at that point wolves and their mates usually get together, but I wasn't ready for that. So I gave it some time. My wolf didn't rip you apart because it sensed you, who you were and what you were to me, and mostly because I've grown as close to controlling myself in the wolf form as it gets."

My brain struggles to take all of this information in. I want to push all of it aside and dismiss it as a complex lie, but I can't do that. Not after the incredible proof he's given me. Why was he looking at me like that? I remain silent, trying hard to comprehend everything he's thrown at me in these past few minutes. Part of me wants to go into denial, to just laugh it off nervously and check myself into a mental hospital, still. The other part is intrigued, anxious, but most of all, and I don't know why, excited. Maybe because my life till this point has been good, but not as adventurous as the action packed romance novels I read late at night under my bedsheets with a flashlight.

My struggle to handle everything right now without breaking made me wonder if I even could. Even after my parent's death, after months of grieving and living in a cloudy world, I'd finally opened myself up to the world again, tried to be as happy and cheerful as I could. That took strength, effort, and courage. Surely I could apply some of that to the situation here.

I take a deep breath and pull myself up. Dusting myself off, I look up at the man. "I still don't know your name." I tell him.

He looks completely taken aback, like this isn't the response he expected. "Umm... I'm Axel. Axel D' Amore."

"Well, hello. I'm Safira." I say automatically, before I blush and realize that that was an established fact. "But you knew that already. Now I think I get what you're saying and why you're looking at me like that, but I need you to say it. To confirm what I'm thinking."

"Okay. You, Safira Malik, are my mate." Axel tells me.

And that's the last thing I hear. The last thing I see is Axel's beyond beautiful face watching me, eyebrows drawn in concern. Then, everything goes black.

A little while later, I come to, and am utterly surprised to come face to face with a breathtaking brunette man standing over me.

"W-w-who are you?" I sputter. I close my eyes and rub my temples, trying to remember what'd happened before I fainted. Slowly, but painfully, the memories flood my mind again, fresh and still as unbelievable.

"Axel." I breath as my eyes flutter open to look at him. He gives me his hand and I take it. He pulls me up and into him, causing me to blush wildly. "Er..." I'm at a loss for words as I push away from him until there's a comfortable distance between us. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to tap this guy, but there was a lot I needed to figure out first.

"Are you okay?" He demands, eyes flashing gray.

"Yes. I'm fine." I respond, and I'm surprised at how natural and casual I manage to sound. "It was just a lot to take in, that's all."

"That's understandable." Axel nods. He reaches for my hand, and I'm too drained internally to pull away. He wraps my petite hand inside of his big one. "How do you feel when I do this?"

My blush becomes more defined when he asks this. I answer honestly though, "I feel good." My insides were flooding with a warmth they'd never felt before, and tingles ran up and down my spine. My entire body reacted to the contact of our hands, coming to attention and relishing the anticipation of his next move. "Like inexplicably wonderful."

He gives me a small, alluring smile. "That's the bond. The bond between mates, especially an Alpha and his mate, is absolutely unbreakable. It's incomprehensibly strong and pulling, and for time being, it'll cloud your mind with lustful and longing thoughts. Once an Alpha finds his mate, his leadership is supreme and solidified. He can't ever let her go or out of his sight, because if something happens to her, and their bond becomes severed, his life- and hers- becomes utterly miserable."

Scared for a second, I ask, "How miserable?"

"Let's hope we don't find out." He responds darkly. "I have a duty to you, my mate, to protect and provide for you and keep you at my side."

My heart swells with his promising words.

"That being said," he continues, "make no mistake. I have no duty to love you. And I probably won't."

Did he seriously just say that to me?

His raw honesty causes a pang of acute pain in my chest, and when he cringes, I know that somehow, he's felt what I've felt. "You can feel what I'm feeling?" I ask, incredulous.

He nods. "Part of the bond. Sorry for my harsh words. I can see they've hurt you. But a relationship is nothing without honesty. And I'm trying to be as honest as I can be with you."

"I don't have much of a say in this, do I?" Rage starts to run through my body in unrelenting waves. "All my life, I'd dreamt of meeting The One. My future would be so bright and happy, and most of all, filled with love. Now you show up, all dark and dangerous, and I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life? Stuck with someone who views me as a duty, as a burden? Who can't even love me?" Frustrated tears slip down my cheeks. "I hadn't planned it this way!"

Apologetically, Axel steps forward, and his eyes flash again. I can see the grief etched on his face. "I'm sorry. I hadn't wanted it this way either. But think of it this way. I can give you anything. Anything that your heart desires. Everything you've ever wanted will be at your fingertips."

"Should that make up for the loss of a loving soulmate?" I snap, flushing now with anger. "I have no parents anymore either. I haven't felt their love in so long. Do you know how hard it is to deal with that? To live so long devoid of a true, binding love? That was all I wanted. A husband who'd love me with a fiery passion every day, a love that wouldn't fade no matter how many years passed. Now you show up and steal all of those dreams away. That's not very fair."

"I give you my deepest sympathies. I agree, it isn't fair. If I could change it, I would, believe me. If I could change myself to be the man you want, I would. But I just can't. Even if we can't love each other, we'll be bonded, and that bond will be as strong as any love. Better even, because it can't be broken no matter what." Axel says, sounding almost pained. "I feel how upset you are. I feel it here." He claws at his heart. "And I want to console you, say words to comfort and assure you, but this is all I can say. I'm a monster, I know, but that's all I was ever meant to be."

Bonded with a monster. Could my life get any worse?

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