The Bond That Binds Us

7: Already Losing It

"I'm so happy for you, Safira!" Flo squeals happily. "So you've met someone?! That's amazing!"

"Yeah, I guess it is." I respond, a bit unenthusiastic. And I have every right to be, considering everything Axel had told me so far.

"You guess?!" Flo cries, incredulous. "You've been talking about meeting someone for forever! Now, you finally have. Someone worth your feelings and attention. Why aren't you as pumped about this as I am?!"

"Because..." I trail off, not sure what to tell my friend without giving too much away. I was having a headache sorting through my own issues and insecurities, and I wasn't about to dump them on Flo. Besides, I didn't need her involved in the werewolf world at all. It was gloomy and consuming and incredibly dangerous. There was no way I'd bring Flo into that by discussing all my werewolf drama. "There's just complications."

She plops down on my bed and gives me a quizzical look. "Complications? Explain, Saf." She pleads, her gray eyes shining.

"Well, I mean, he wants to go way faster than I'm comfortable with." I say noncommittally. "And he's just so... serious."

Flo looks more confused then ever. "Why are you even with him? I mean, you don't sound all that jazzed to be with him."

"Well, we have a really strong connection, Flo. Stronger than anything I've ever felt." I answer truthfully, biting my lip nervously and twirling strands of ebony hair around my fingers. Thinking about Axel drove me crazy. He had a way of getting under my skin even he wasn't in my presence. It was annoying, but only served to prove the point that our bond ran deep, if he was on my mind all of the time. And it wasn't even all of the complications of being with him that consumed my thoughts most of the time. It was just blissful yet frustrating thoughts of him ruffling his hair or smirking at me or leaning in so close I could smell his musky scent.

"The entire thing sounds intense." Flo says, and squeezes my hand. "But I'm sure you'll figure it out, Saf. Don't stress about it too much."

"I sure hope so, Flo. Now, tell me what you were so antsy to tell me about the entire day!" I encourage.

Flo blushes fifty shades of red. "Well... everything just happened so fast, I wasn't even sure what I was going to say to you. Ever since I've met Brad, my life has changed so drastically, as you know."

I nod, giving her a bright smile. Flo was truly glowing ever since she met Brad. She'd always been externally happy, but now I could see the new profound happiness and warmth at her core. She was so radiant now, illuminated on the outside and inside. I was so thankful to Brad for giving her that, something my best friend deserved and needed so much all her life.

"He's talking about moving in together. And truthfully, Saf, I get electric tingles whenever I think of waking up to him or coming home to him. I think I might even... L-O-V-E him." Flo says slowly, her voice dripping with utter joy.

"Wow... Flo, why are you even thinking about it still? Tell him yes! Move in with him! Further your relationship! I can see how cheerful you are with him, how bright you are with him. There's nothing you deserve more than to feel that way all the time!" I urge.

Flo studies my reaction, looking anxious. "But I love living with you. You've been my friend for eight years. I can't imagine leaving you behind."

I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about me." Looking down at my colorful cartographical bed covers, I add quietly, "Axel asked me to move in with him too. I wouldn't be alone."

I laugh lightly when I glance up and see the palpable shock on Flo's face and hear her gasp loudly. "Oh. My. God. Saf, he must like you a whole bunch. To already ask you to move in with him? What are you going to say? I don't want your decision to depend on whether or not I decide to live with Brad."

"I would've eventually had to say yes to Axel anyway. It's happening a little faster than I'd originally planned, but it's nothing I can't handle or would be put off by." I admit.

"Why would you have to?" Flo inquires.

I couldn't very well say that a werewolf and its mate were required to be with each other pretty much all the time. "I mean, he means a lot to me. How could I not take the next step with him?" I say, bending the truth a bit.

"Oh. When do I get to meet him?" Flo bounces on the bed excitedly.

I cringe. I doubt that'd be such a good idea. Wasn't I supposed to keep Flo away from my personal werewolf problems? If I introduced her to Axel, I'd be not only pulling her into them, but drowning her in them. I couldn't do that to her. "Maybe we can arrange something soon?" I lie.

"I'd like that." Flo beams at me. "Wait, how about a double date?!"

I internally groan. I should've seen this coming. Of course Flo would suggest something like this. How could I sidestep this? Under normal circumstances, I would've said a big yes. But when your boyfriend (What was Axel? Was he even my boyfriend?) is a werewolf, actually the leader of a pack of wolves, the circumstances change. "I'll talk to Axel about that." I say evasively. It isn't till my phone vibrates and the screen comes to life with a text and I see the time that I leap off the bed swiftly.

"What is it, Saf?" Flo asks, immediately alert.

"I've got to meet Axel." I say quickly.

"Well you better go get ready." She dismisses me with a push.

Why was I feeling such blossoming dread in the pit of my stomach? Perhaps because I didn't know what to expect with moody Axel anymore. And not knowing what to expect, after I'd tried to coordinate everything carefully most of my life, was making me lose it just a bit.

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