The Bond That Binds Us

2: Impossible Dreams

"You look so out of it." Flo says sympathetically as she cringes at my severe and loud coughing.

"I feel so out of it!" I cry, and it's extremely true. I'd been under the weather for at least a week now, and I felt awful for leaving Flo to manage the coffee shop all by her lonesome. But I was in no position to be taking orders and making coffee, not in my current condition at least.

"Your grandmother called." She says cheerfully.

"Oh. What'd she say?"

"She wants you to fly to India. One of your cousins is getting married."

I sit up, suddenly interested. "Who?"

"Sorry, Safira, you know how hard it is for me to comprehend all those complex names. Remember how long it took me just to get yours right?"

I smile and throw a pillow at her. She easily dodges it and strolls into the kitchen to get me my daily dose of her chicken noodle soup.

"I miss them." I admit wistfully.

"Why don't you go then?" She says, walking back with a tray of the soup and some water.

"They remind me a lot of Mom and Dad." I sniffle. "Besides, they'll be pestering me about Med School-they don't know I've dropped out-or when I'll be tying the knot. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But it's a lot to deal with."

Placing the tray on my lap, Flo sits on the love seat across from me, looking disappointed. "So you won't be going?" She heaves a big sigh.

I roll my eyes and slurp up a spoon of the delicious soup. Trying to change the subject, I compliment Flo on her cooking and ask about Brad.

"Oh my gosh!" She gushes as soon as I bring up Brad. "He's wonderful. Hands down the best guy I've ever met. I'm surprised that you actually had such good taste. Usually the guys you pick guys that are unappealing in some way. But Brad... we just mesh really well."

Have I mentioned I'm the best person when it comes to changing the subject efficiently? "That's great, Flo. I'm so happy for you!" I exclaim. "Is it getting really serious?"

"Definitely. We're moving so fast, and usually that'd freak me out, but with him, it all feels like the right pace."

I slurp up more soup and reach for the TV remote. "What do you say to a Criminal Minds marathon?"

"I'd love to..." Flo says hesitantly.

"But?"

"I've got a date with Brad in an hour."

"Oh. Well, you better start getting ready!" I say cheerfully, although my heart sinks just slightly with the thought of being alone. "I could help you."

"No, I couldn't make you help me while you're sick. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not, Flo! I'm super jazzed for you! Where's he taking you?"

"It's a surprise!" She squeals, standing up and walking over to me. "Finish your soup and then go to sleep. I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure rest is a good thing when you're sick."

"You got it." I grin at her widely. "Enjoy your date."

As soon as Flo is out of the room, my mind drifts to my grandmother. To my hometown- or village, should I say- in India. How native and serene it was there, in the countryside. When Mom and Dad were alive, they'd make it a goal to visit every summer, and we always did, no matter what other things we had going on. My entire family over there was so loving, but so overwhelming. With Mom and Dad at my side, I could handle anything- even my rambunctious family. But now? I couldn't handle anything. I'd dropped out of Med School and couldn't even be bothered to visit my family. They were all I had now, and I knew that. But seeing them in India without Mom and Dad would just solidify that, somehow making it more real than it already was. And marriage? I'd hoped all my life for a love marriage. I was that girl with her head in the clouds, dreaming of the day a Prince Charming would ride into her life on a shimmering white unicorn. I wasn't dependent, but until I found a high paying job, I couldn't be independent enough. And love, in my mind, would make life so much more beautiful, so beautiful it'd be totally worth living. But so far, any real Prince Charming had failed to enter my life. Maybe he was stuck in traffic or something. I still had hope he'd show up someday, maybe even someday soon. I mean, Flo found Brad- thanks to me- right out of the blue. The same could happen for me someday. Maybe I could feel that attraction I did with that wonderful yet imaginary man- I don't understand why I'm still on him, either, but he's just unforgettable- with someone. That would brighten my entire life just a bit more.

Finishing the soup and water, I lay the tray on the coffee table next to me and snuggle under the blankets.

The most important man in my life right now is Ryan. He's the sweetest man I've ever known, and become the closest thing to a father- one that's alive right now, at least. I visit him at the old folk's home whenever I can. His sons and daughters have stopped visiting, stopped writing, stopped any contact without him. They just pay his bills. That saddens me a lot, but he never shows any grief, so around him, neither do I.

That's the last thought I have before I drift off into a restless sleep, only restless because piercing gray eyes follow me everywhere.

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