Obsession

39

Taste.
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Jeongin coughed as he laid back against Chan, his mouth open, feeling the disgusting tasting liquid drip down his mouth. A hand closed his mouth, making him whimper due to the disgusting, salty taste that continued to linger in his mouth.

He looked at Seungmin who sighed softly, seemingly satisfied as he zipped up his pants, as he collapsed against the bed with a smile. Chan behind him caressing his hair.

His scalp was so numb and stung a bit, due to the constant pulling at his hair. His body twitching at the touch. His tears stopped long time ago, feeling the disgusting touch of the men. He moved himself away from Chan, now that he was finally free from their grib. Immediately scurring to the farthest corner in the room, trying to protect himself from them.

He spat out the distasteful cum, letting it drip from his chin, as both Chan and Seungmin smirked at him.

He couldn't believe what just happened, he felt ashamed of himself..he felt bad for giving himself in for Seungmin to touch and use. He felt disgusted by himself..he felt like a slut.

"Darling..you did so well, behaved so well. You deserve a praise" he could hear Chan praise. But he didn't feel any better about what happened, hiding himself away in the corner. Sniffing back sobs as he pinched his skin, rubbing it beneath his fingers as he sucked back a breath.

"G-go away" he whispered, not wanting to even look at them.

"Be careful with your words Jeongin. It would be upsetting if your words ruined your achievement. So spare them for another time, so you can get all the praises you want and need now" He scolded, grabbing the boy and lifting him up in his embrace. Smirking when Jeongin curled up against him.

He was still so eager for them and he felt pathetic..stupid, and disgusted.

He knew what could make him feel better was them praising him. Hugging him..though he felt so disgusted by himself, he couldn't believe anything.

"Love.." Seungmin whispered, a hand touching his back almost comforting. "Thank you".

Thank you? Was that all? Not even a sorry for ruining your life? He felt upset, but didn't comment on it. His heart beating fast as he just cried pathetically. His body flinching at the touch.

"Darling..respond to him" Chan spat, squeezing his waist lightly.

"Y-your welcome".

For what. He thought.

For what was he welcomed for? Showing a dick down his throat. Fucking his sins into place? All without his consent? Everything was so infuriating. But he didn't want his achievement to be taken from him, so he bit his lip to not spill any other words.

Everything felt like a fever dream, it passed through his eyes like a flash. He wanted to touch his own mouth, feeling if it was still raw, or if no injuries was left in his mouth. He honestly didn't know what to think other than..

Disgusting.

It was all over the place. His mind fuzzing, his mouth itchy and thristy. His body halting its own breath.

"Let's get your hair cut no..hm?" Chan smirked, carrying him to the bathroom, as he kicked the door open, being placed on one of the counters. He looked around the room, seeing new furnitures he haven't seen before. Probably because he haven't gotten a shower in months. He didn't dare to look behind him, he didn't want to see his own reflection. He knew he looked horrible. The scars and fresh hickies littered upon his body.

He heard the opening of drawers, something that startled him. Eyes going to to Chan who picked out a pair of scissors, one for cutting length and the other for thinning the hair..

Was it really that bad? Was he hair really that filthy? That long and thick? He felt humiliated by the thought of it. Pinching the fabric of the skirt beneath his fingers as he sighed.

"You need a shower first" Chan spoke, making him look at him with sad eyes.

He genuinely didn't see his worth anymore. He knew that to them, he was useful. But for himself? For others? He was nothing. Maybe for others he were the missing boy, the one that got abducted. Of course he has seen the news. Remembering how he allowed them to carve the word 'Darling' into his leg for him to keep up with the news about him. Surprised to know that they were still trying to search for him.

He knew that search parties were everywhere but here in the mountains. He knew they even searched all the hotels in Seoul and Busan. Went to Daegu, to search aswell. He knew all the places people were searching. He knew that his face was everywhere on papers and in the media.

And if he had to be quite honest.

He was fucking terrified of it.

Never, and with that he mean never. Has he thought that his case of abductions would bring so many peoples attention. He didn't need it. He didn't exactly want to leave this house, knowing the attention it would bring him. He was better off here. And no where else. But that didn't matter in the police chiefs words of each big city. And still, he didn't want to be found. He found that scary. To be situated in a police station, or at a hospital. To go back to his regular life knowing nothing would be the same.

He just wanted to stay here. He knew it sounded stupid. But the men was all he needed now..even if it held high expectation of him to behave. Even if it meant dying young. All of that..sounded better to his ears. He knew he was going insane for preferring them over anyone else. Yet he had no other choice.

He felt Chan undress him, and by now..he didn't care. He just let them do what they wanted. He lost all the care he had. Knowing that 20 minutes ago, was something he couldn't ever forget, or recover from. He just had to live with it. Until he died atleast.

That's all he thought about.

When they were going to get tired of him. Kill him. He wondered if that would be the tremendous event that ended all of this.

He didn't care when he felt the water drip on him, the soap lattering his body. Chan washing him up and rinsing him down. He didn't care when he was getting towel dried. And wrapped up another towel, he didn't care about the scissors cutting his hair anymore. He was just lost, he was gone, and was certainly tired.

Resting was the only choice he could pick on. Choosing if he wanted to sleep or not. But right now, he felt like staying  awake, not wanting any nightmares to intrude his little head.

He wanted care..soft spoken words and praise. He wanted hugs and cuddles. All in Chan's bed. It didn't matter who, he just needed it. Badly. The comfort that they could provide him, it was the only thing he cared for.

Nothing would give his life back. And he had to constantly remind himself of that.

He wasn't Jeongin..anymore.