Un•A•Were

33| More Secrets

Amanda's POV:

I feel the warmth of the sun on my face as my eyes flutter open. My eyes adjust to the light, but I quickly realize, I'm not in my room, but Bryan's. It takes me a minute to remember what happened last night.

After hours of self-defense class with Whitney and Claudia as my instructors, my mind, body, and even my soul was exhausted. I had run through the gambit of emotions after leaving the lake. I had so many questions, so many thoughts, so many possibilities. I was tired of feeling helpless and experiencing emotional turmoil. In most scenarios, we were victorious and I got to have my happily ever after, but not all of them ended so sweetly. These were the harsh realities of what could be. And it terrified me.

I try to sit up when I realize Bryan has my body buried deep into his chest. His breath is warm on my neck, which causes me to shiver. I roll over to watch him sleep. I don't want to lose this. I don't want anyone dying for me. I want to stay right here and bask in the essence that is my mate. It sounds weird to say "mate" when I'm not a werewolf, but I guess I'm a pack member, right? Was I? I mean, technically, they have been protecting me, but I haven't gone through any ritual or pledged my allegiance or whatever it is they do to join. I'm brought out of my thoughts when Bryan caresses my cheek with his hand.

"Good morning, beautiful. I could get used to this. Coming home to you in my bed and waking up next to you in the morning." he smiles.

"Good morning to you, too, handsome." I return his smile with my own.

"Why do I feel the wheels in your head turning already?" he stares into my eyes. Dang! He can read me like an open book!

I take a deep breath before expressing my concerns. "I don't want anyone dying for me. And before you interrupt, I just need to get this out." Bryan closes his mouth and holds his tongue. I sigh again, collecting my thoughts. "I also don't want to live in fear of what the future holds. I may be human, but my mother raised a very strong woman. So, I will train and do what I need to do to survive Alpha Marcus." Bryan growls lowly at the mention of his name. "Finally, I'm nervous people will look at me differently. I don't want to be the odd man out again. I want to be included." I say earnestly. Bryan's smile is disarming, but I need to hear his words. "Please, say something," I plead.

"You're cute when you ramble," he says. I roll my eyes and try pushing out of his arms. He holds me tighter and kisses my forehead.

"Okay, okay, okay. First, I need you to take a breath. Second, if we play our cards right, no one will die. I have a lot to fill you in on if you are adamant on being included." he waits for my response. I nod and he sits up. I follow his actions and lean against the headboard. My heart rate increases, but I try to steady myself for what's to come. "We were able to formulate a plan with several versions depending on what happens in ten days, but we have to keep it hush hush because we have a traitor in the pack." he explains.

"A traitor? Oh my god!" I exclaim. Who would dare go against the pack? What did I do to them to deserve this?

"We are working on finding out their identity, but in the meantime, we are keeping certain details from even our closest friends." Bryan waits for me to understand. A lightbulb clicks in my brain.

"Sam? Luke? I mean—they would never. They know everything about me. I've never kept a secret from them." I feel tears well in my eyes. Why would my best friends even be considered? How will I manage to keep something this huge from them? Bryan reaches over to wipe a tear rolling slowly down my cheek.

"We don't suspect anyone in our inner circle, but we decided to keep parts of the plan away from various members so no one has all of the pieces. Look at it this way: if someone is captured, Alpha Marcus won't hesitate to torture them for information. It's common practice during a war. Just like we have one rogue in our cells right now for the same purpose." I nod in understanding, but I still know this will be difficult for me moving forward.

"Is that why I was taken to the training grounds instead of the meeting last night?" I ask. A part of me was still angered at not being included in a meeting about me.

"Yes and no. Yes, we needed to get you some place safe and we didn't want to add any more stress. You've already been through so much. Your world has been flipped upside down and, believe it or not, I want your brilliant mind to remain intact, not spiraling 24-7 with emotions, questions, and fears. No, we weren't intentionally excluding you from the meeting. It is important to start training you immediately, because ten days is not a lot of time to prepare for a fight against an Alpha. Especially with you being new to our world. There's still so much to discuss, but time is not our friend. I knew Whitney and Claudia could at least teach you the basics. I will be helping you with the more complex moves such as survival skills and evasive maneuvers." I listen intently, soaking up the information.

"So, how much of the plan do I get to know?" I inquire shyly.

"Some..." his voice trails. I don't know why, but I'm hurt by his words. I get up from the bed and go to the bathroom. I lock the door and place my hands on each side of the sink. Breath in, breath out. Deep breaths. I can feel my head swirling again with emotions, the unknowns, more secrets. At the forefront is anger. I hear a quiet knock on the door. "Mandy? Please unlock the door. I know you're upset about the secrecy. But, it is for your protection." My anger rises thinking about the years of being ignored for my protection. I felt so lonely sometimes. I open the door with Bryan's sad eyes looking at me.

"I was promised no more secrets. And yet, here we are. I'm tired of being ignored! I'm tired of being excluded! I'm tired of being kept in the dark!" I didn't even realize I was screaming when I hear thunder clap outside the window to stop me in my tracks. Bryan just stands there aghast. Silence fills the room except for my deep breaths and the storm brewing outside.

After a few moments, his arms wrap around me and I can't help, but do the same. His presence calms me. "I don't know what to do, Bryan. I feel like my simple world has crashed into chaos. I'm falling with no one to catch me." I admit just above a whisper. He cups my face and forces my eyes to meet his.

"You will not go through this alone. You will not go through anything else alone. You have a strong circle around you. I—I am your mate for all of eternity and nothing will stop me from protecting you and loving you." he says so intensely I feel his power radiate off of him. It's difficult to breathe, difficult to find the right words.

"Okay." It's the only word I can manage. He leads me over to the couch and we sit down. He doesn't speak for several minutes.

"There's more," he says. I snap my face up at him with my mouth hanging open.