(28) Pain

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"Secrets I have held in my heart, are harder to hide than I thought."

-Artic Monkeys

The next morning I found Anakin standing on one of the pavilions. His hands were folded behind his back as he was staring out at the lake. The sun casted its golden shades over the beautiful waters, bathing them in golds and yellows. I instantly thought of last night as I studied Anakin from a distance, no doubt looking like a stalker as I did so. I don't know why Padme's words were affecting me so much, but I couldn't get them out of my head no matter how hard I tried. This was forbidden, everything about wanting him, desiring him, it was not good, it would lead me to the dark side. Besides, there was no way Anakin shared the same feeling for me. Whatever I was thinking was just a silly figment of my imagination. Anakin was the chosen one, he would never betray the order.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me or are you going to join me?" Anakin's words startled me and I blinked, then I blinked again, oh my kariff this was so embarrassing. Taking a slight breath, I walked towards Anakin, standing at his side. It was as if I could feel his pain, feel the darkness in my own heart.

"Are you ok?" I ask, he seemed on edge, his entire body tense. I placed a hand on his shoulder, watching as he relaxed. I tried not to dwell on it too much as he turned to look at me. The pain in his eyes took my breath away and I felt that something inside of me crack, "Anakin.." I breathed, "You know you can talk to me right?"

He sighed, nodding his head and closing his eyes, he seemed to be somewhere else for a moment before he looked at me again. My hand moved from his shoulder to his hair, brushing the stray stands back.

"I've been having dreams about my mother, her being in pain. I can hear her screams, I can feel her anguish and I-" His voice broke and he turned his head from me, but not before I caught the tear slipping down his cheek. I could feel his pain, his sorrow... his confusion. His body shook and I squeezed his shoulder a bit before pulling him into a hug. I didn't even think about it, I just did it, pulling him as close as I could.

His arms wrapped around me immediately, his body shaking. We stood there for a moment before I pulled away, looking up at him. Even in pain he was beautiful, like a fallen angel.

"I need to go back to Tatooine." He breathed, "I need to make sure my mother is ok." I nodded, if he had to do this then I wasn't going to stop him. It was a Jedi's duty to bring peace to the galaxy and if someone was in pain it was our duty to protect them.

"I'm coming with you." Grabbing his hand, I pulled him out of the pavilion and into the main living room. Anakin tugged me to a stop, forcing me to face him.

"You can't come Leora." His tone sounded final but there was no way I was letting him go alone, "Someone has to stay with Padme." I blinked in surprise, remembering the senator that we were supposed to be protecting. Guilt immediately flooded through me and I looked around the room as if Padme was supposed to appear. I turned back to Anakin and his gaze softened as if he could read my thoughts.

"It's ok Leora, I know you're just worried." He took my other hand in his, holding both of my hands up. He looked down at them for a moment as if he was lost in thought. I didn't know what to say, what to do.

"Anakin I-"

"Stay here Leora." He said finally, his voice firm, "This is something I have to do on my own." He squeezed my hands, his thumbs rubbing circles ever so softly. We stared at each other for a moment, none of us knowing what to say. His eyes looked down before meeting mine again, his lips parting. Desire coursed through me, I wanted to kiss him. And call me crazy, but I think he was thinking the same thing.

...

"We could spend the day just relaxing." Padme offered after I had briefed her on where Anakin had gone, "There's a spa we could use." I nodded, following her down the halls, I felt nervous letting Anakin go off alone, I shouldn't have done that. But if I had gone with him that would mean leaving Padme alone because there was no way I would ever take her to Tatooine. It's far too dangerous for a senator of her status as of right now. Or ever.

Padme opened a door, revealing a giant room with pools built into the ground. Steam rose from the blue waters, curling into the air. It was an open room overlooking the lake in the midday sun. Padme walked over to a closet, opening it and selecting two bathing suits.

"Here, you can change in there." She handed me the suit, pointing to a door. Walking into the room, I pulled the bathing suit on, walking out to find her already changed. She entered the pool first, slowly sitting down on the platform that lined the edge. I followed in suit, sitting across from her. The water felt amazing as I dipped my head under, getting my hair wet. When I surfaced I found Padme staring at me.

"You know he's going to be ok right?" She asked and I nodded, he's the chosen one after all, he'll be fine. But I still can't help myself from worrying, there were so many things that could go wrong, and with Anakin's track record of somehow always finding danger, something was going to go wrong.

"Thank you Padme." I sigh, leaning back, "I just worry for him, he's had so much stress put onto him from the council lately and I think it's getting to him." Padme nodded, understanding, she traced the edge of the tub with her finger.

"Did Ani ever tell you how we met?" Padme asks. When I shake my head, surprise flickers across her expression and a small laugh escapes her, "Well, when I was on the run from the Trade Federation, we came upon this small town in Tatooine called Mos Espa. I had begged Master Kenobi and Master Qui-Gon to take me with them and on our small journey, we came upon this shop." Shaking her head, Padme snorted, "And in this shop was the cutest little boy I had ever seen. He asked if I was an angel."

I snorted as well at Padme's words, I could even see a little Anakin asking her that. I had met him during his first few weeks at the Jedi Temple. None of the kids wanted to talk to him, so feeling bad, I went over and started a conversation. And from that point forward, we were friends. We would sneak out every night and meet in the courtyard where I helped him study and catch up on all the things that he missed. It didn't take long for the other younglings to realize that he was the chosen one, and soon enough Anakin was Mr. Popular. But, even then, he stuck by my side, staying my friend through it all.

Padme said something else but I barely heard her as pain raced through my mind. I gasped, bending over and clutching my head, he was in pain. Anakin was in pain. I could feel it in my heart, in my soul. I was out of the water in seconds, poor Padme not even knowing what was going on.

"Leora what is it?" She asked, her voice alarmed as she jumped out of the pool and sprinted towards me. I could barely feel her fear through the pain inside of me.

But one thing was for certain, it was Anakin's.

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