Pleasing (H.S)

ten

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Iris

It's March and we are better than ever. I'm in a relationship with Harry, or being more honest I am in a happy relationship with Harry. We spend a lot of time together. We don't go out that much but I don't care. He gets to see my daughter once a week. She always asking about him, she talks about him and I see that there is a bond between them. Every time Harry and I are together, he always talks to me about Emma. He really likes her. He had talked to his mother about Emma. He sent her a video of her dancing to Sunflower one day. I don't know what he had told his mother exactly. 

I had told my mother about me. She is excited about my dating life. She is happy that I get to live my life and not holding back because of Emma. She left for home, two weeks ago. That means that Tonya and Florence are happy to stay with Emma when Harry and I are together. 

Chris and Patrick knows that I am in a relationship. Emma stayed with them a couple of times too. I told them a week ago that I'm seeing Harry. Chris said that he knew it. He always told me that past month that Harry and I have so much chemistry and we are a great couple. He only saw Harry one time but he knew. That's exactly his words. 

William, on the other hand, has been friendlier to me than before. He always invites my daughter and I in his home for play dates and he texts me from time to time. I think Harry knows about this but he isn't saying a word to me.

Speaking of Harry, he is in New York city two days now and I miss him. I've started to get used of seeing him every day and now that we have to spend a week apart, I don't know how to cope. It's like I'm 17 all over again and he is my first everything.

I think Emma knows that Harry is my special friend. She doesn't understand the word boyfriend but I think that she knows. She talks about him a lot and even she tells all of her friends about him. Nobody knows he is famous, though. Only Millie.

Harry and I are getting closer and closer every day. We don't see each other every single day though, because we have so much work to do but we always manage to talk a little through face time every night. Emma knows about this and she demands to call her best friend to tell him goodnight and sweet dreams. She is starting to fall in love with him too, in a platonic way.

I was thinking one night that if her father stayed she would be like that with him, for sure. She has so much love to give and I feel so sad that I couldn't make her dad stay, I couldn't make her dad to want her. She doesn't know how a father figure is and I can't forgive myself.

I had the best childhood. My father was there. He was the one that taught me how to ride a bicycle, how to write my name and how to not let a single person drag me down. I swore to myself when I had sex for the first time that if I had a child ever I wanted them to have both parents at home, so they could have a childhood like mine. But fate wasn't by my side. And now I'm just alone, playing a role I don't know how to play. I'm not just a mother, I'm a father too. And I want someone to give me some credit.

I feel tired. I don't know what the future holds for me and my daughter. I walk through its path though like I'm not afraid of the darkness.

"Iris, what are you thinking?" My sister asks me. We are out shopping. Neither of us work today so it was a great opportunity. 

"Harry." I simply say. She knows how I feel about Harry and she expects to meet her. But I don't know when this is going to happen. I don't think that Harry is ready to meet her. We aren't together for a really long time and even our friends don't know about us so I feel like we don't need to hurry anything. Everything will be fine and when the time is right the whole world will know about us.