My Magical Waifu

Chapter twelve

Chapter 12

Lord Farquaad POV:

I pace back and forth in worry, doubtful words running through my head, such as "what if she doesn't like me" "what if she is a ugly cat fish" "what If she's secretly a man" "WHAT IF-" the mirror cuts me off in order to calm me down
"Come on dawg, I betchu finna be coo' "
I look at the mirror, not realizing I was speaking my thoughts aloud. My eyes are full of worry and panic. "Oh but what if I ain't gonna be coo', what if it all goes WRONG!"
The mirror looks at me worriedly, and after a moment of silence he finally mutters up a sentence of comfort.
"You got 5 backups you are gonna be fine"
I turn around, giving him a look of disgust. "BUT SHE IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE, NO OTHER PRINCESS GOT A BADUSSY LIKE HERS. I CAN'T JUST REPLACE HER!"

I eventually sit down and rest my head on my hand, almost tearing up. Until finally, I remember how hot I am. "You know what mirror, I hate to say this to anyone because it's never true, but you're right! I am so ding dang hot I could have any bae any day! But I still want to have hope in my beloved Dracella. I have to look my best tonight. I will blow her away with my fitty fit! The same way she did with me but 10x harder hebsbbabhaga

I strut fitly into my changing room and kapoot open the door with my juicy ass asscheeks. I shall be the prettiest boy at the party! I gather all of my finest apparel, the richest of glad rags, until I truly look like the prince charming of anyone's dreams. I guide a brush through my crunchy locks and I tie half of my hair into a shrexy man bun. I start my self-care routine, which is me just violently putting hand soap on my face and washing it off. I dry my face and once I remove the towel, I look at myself in the mirror. A gasp excapes my mouth as I realise how absolutely flabbergasted I will leave every last ladies at the ball, especially Dracella... And I expect her to look just as stunning as I do. But I have no worry anymore. The way she looked in her picture, she was as real as a new-born baby and I shall be as smooth as said new-borns left asscheek hheheheheh.