Y O U N G ~ R O Y A L S || ONESHOT BOOK || 1 || [Finished/Abgeschlossen]

1 december -Simon-

Door 1 (little connection with the episodes)

TW: -Self-injury (mention, no execution!!)

I need to talk to Wille about this.
It can't go on like this. A long time ago we promised each other - No secrets!

Today he would come to visit again. Of course I am happy, but I am afraid of his reaction.
Sighing, I look at the bright scars that adorned my forearm.
Why can't everything just be okay? Why did I start this in the first place?!

The ringing of the front doorbell snaps me out of my thoughts of the things I've done to my arms.
"Wille!" I say with a mischievous, joyful grin and wrap my arms around him tightly.
I feel his rough laugh before he also wraps his arms a little tighter around my body.
"Hey, Simon."
When I look up again, I see what are probably the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen.

We break away from this incredible embrace. Unfortunately.
I also greet Malin who is standing behind him, watching over him as always.
Come in, my mother should be home soon. ,,Do you want something to drink? I ask immediately and have once again rushed everything before they can take off their jackets.
,,Sorry..." I mumble after them and take their jackets from them to hang them up.
It's okay Simon! I'll have a water.
Wille smiles. The smile is immediately reflected on my lips.
And you, Malin?

A water as well, thank you Simon.

So I get the three of us something to drink and decide to sit at the dining table with them until my mother comes home.
They both thank me and have a drink first.

,,You don't have to sit with me. Wilhelm isn't here to be with me, is he?" Malin throws into the round and interrupts the awkward silence.
,,Yes, come on, Wille," I say quickly and pull him into my room without thinking.

We sit on my bed. Wille is leaning against the wall, my head resting on his chest.
I listen to his heartbeat, which speeds up a little now and then.
,,Are you all right?"

Of course I can hear him talking to me, but should I really tell him?
Yes! Yes, Simon, you have to!

,,That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I say quietly and sit up to look at him.
,,What's wrong?" he asks, a little sceptical but also very concerned.
I sigh, not hesitating long to avoid changing my mind, and pull up the sleeves of my purple jumper.
He opens his mouth and is about to start talking when his gaze falls on my forearms.
Older and fresh wounds are revealed.
"Simon...w-why are you doing this?"
His voice was full of concern and panic. What am I supposed to say now?! That it was all getting too much for me in the meantime? The behaviour of his mother and the pressure of the internet, consequences of the video??
I can't blame it on him now and I certainly don't intend to!
"Past and all that..."
My voice is threatening to fail. It was rough and dry, as if it might stop at any moment. As if I hadn't drunk for hours.
A huge lump of panic and fear forms in my throat. I feel as if he is preventing me from breathing.
,,You don't have to say anything" My boyfriend says softly, pulls me towards him by my upper body and closes his arms tightly around my body.
I can't stand it any longer and let out the tears that have built up over time.
Until I have calmed down to some extent, he strokes my back and whispers soothing things in my ear.
The lump in my throat has disappeared. The fear of saying something to him is gone.
,,I love you so much, Simon. Please promise to let me know if you feel the urge to do anything like that! Let's talk about it and don't hide from me... not from me."

,,I promise, Wille," I say softly and press my body closer to his.
,,I love you too".  Again I listen to his heartbeat until my eyes become heavier and heavier and I finally fall asleep.
I know he is there, I can let myself fall and he catches me.
And he knows that he can expect the same from me<3

-❤👑