Rudra-Nandani

2 ~ I want Him To Touch Me

Nandani POV

I spent the whole day collecting myself and penning down my thoughts that he wanted to read. I did not know where to start and where to end. What to write and what to miss? 

In my classes, I have learnt that a physical relationship is much more than reproduction and enjoyment. Two people who get physically involved develop another level of understanding and when they open up their vulnerabilities in form clothes, they feel a new level of comfort among them.

I wanted to feel the same. Because, I always feared him in some ways, maybe because he was much older than me and he got this authoritative voice and the stories I have heard about him from the battlefields really sparks up my nerves.

I loved him but there was this insecurity in me for him. Like, he was handsome, mature and the most eligible bachelor. I wanted someone like him, always.

"What are you doing?"

I was startled by Suman's voice and I instantly wrapped the paper.

"Nothing,"

I said and she looked at me with thinned eyebrows.

"You look surprised,"

I sighed with shock and muttered.

"No, nothing... everything is fine,"

I tried to say and she saw me thinning her eyebrows.

"Okay, I am buying it,"

I plastered a smile on my face and nodded.

She left and I sighed taking a breath of peace. If she had asked then I would not have lied. She was my partner in crime and knew everything about me.

I focused back on writing down what Rudra had asked me, but I did not know what to write.

Honestly, I just wanted to feel him not precisely like sexually, but his touches on my hand, arms, and neck. 

The thought alone was making me feel shivers around my body and this was it. It was the thing I only wanted.

I unfold the letter and started writing it down.

'My heart beats turns faster for you when my eyes capture you around me. I feel the sensations run through my body and settle down in the base of my spine whenever your lips spread looking at me. But deep down I feel they are not enough. I crave more, more than a smile, more than a light touch. Precisely the feeling of your fingers over my arms, around my neck somewhere like my feet. 

I do not know what exactly I want but I am sure that I want something more than I actually have. I want you around me, your touch that will ignite the fire on my skin and shiver me to the bones that eventually sparks every inch of me. 

I want you to see me, more than someone ever did. I want to see you more than someone ever did. I want us to close so that our breathing feels wild and warm on each other's cheeks, I want us to be one for once and for all.

That is it!'

I inhaled a deep breath finishing the letter and rolled back keeping it safe.

This was what I actually wanted. I wanted him more than anything. All those things that I wanted were only for him.

 I stood up and looked outside the window to see what time it was. There would be an evening soon and if I wanted to meet him at the night. I had to finish my work early.

I hid the letter and went out to the kitchen. Giving the cooks the menu for dinner which especially included everything Rudra liked, I retired to meet my mother and grandmother.